


Screaming Along To My Chemical Romance's 'Demolition Lovers' While Driving Down Main Street, or: A Very Cliche High School AU

by littlesaintmick



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Discussions of death, Drama, Fluff, High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Background Relationships, Multi, Tags to be added, background charlotte/becky, background triple h/shawn michaels, god i don't even know what to tag this, loss is a recurring theme, not a lot of angst though, other characters to be added as i remember this huge fucking cast, so is family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-04-19 04:37:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 65,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14229435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlesaintmick/pseuds/littlesaintmick
Summary: as the title says: a pretty damn cliche high school au. football star roman meets poor emo kid dean. rich kid seth rollins drives a trans am with flame decals and is in love with his irish disney prince boyfriend. the new day are cupids. it's a magical fucking world, my friends.





	1. The First Day Of Senior Year, Or: Thank God It's Almost Over

**Author's Note:**

> i HIGHLY suggest listening to the young punk and my chemical romance stations on pandora. anything you listened to when you felt mad at your parents or rebellious in high school will work.

Roman waved his hand in front of his face, coughing a little. 

“Hey, point your cigs somewhere else.”

Seth shot him an apologetic look and shifted so that the wind would blow the smoke away from Roman. Roman wished his friend wouldn’t smoke, but he would never think he could control a damn thing Seth Rollins did. 

“When’s he supposed to be getting here?”

“Dunno.”

Seth finished his cigarette and pulled out his phone, probably to text his boyfriend, who was currently in Ireland. Roman noticed the frown on Seth’s face and moved to stand next to him. He bumped Seth’s shoulder. 

“Everything cool?”

“Yeah, just...Finn’s really upset, cause of his grandfather and all.”

Roman frowned, too. Finn’s grandfather had passed away the week before, which is why he and his family had to rush back to Ireland. Roman made a note to call Finn later. He knew it was hard to lose family. 

Seth looked up at the sound of a loud engine, and soon a black motorcycle pulled into the parking lot, the man on it wearing a leather jacket and helmet covered in stickers. Seth put away his phone and grinned, waving the man over. Roman watched as he parked in the spot next to Seth’s ridiculous Trans Am. Seth approached the bike while Roman stayed leaning against the car. 

The man stood and pulled off his helmet, and Roman’s eyes widened. 

Seth wrapped his arms around the man-well, Roman knew the guy was only seventeen, but still-and the hug was reciprocated. 

“Dean! How are you, dude? I missed you!”

Dean patted Seth on the back and smiled a lopsided smile, and Roman had to look away. 

“I’m good. Missed you too, Rollins.”

“Dean, this is my best friend in the world, Roman, Roman, this is Dean, the guy I haven’t shut up about.”

Roman held his hand out to Dean, who took it, shaking it firmly before pulling his hand away. 

“‘Sup?”

Roman blanked for a moment, unable to tear his eyes away from Dean. He had messy orange-ish red hair, pale skin, and dark eyes lined in black liner. The jacket hugged his body, as did his tight jeans. Roman noticed Seth smirking out of the corner of his eye. He was sort of notorious for liking, when it came to men and masculine people, ‘bad boy’ types. Roman was suddenly very aware of why Seth was so insistent that he meet Dean. 

“Nothing much. It’s nice to meet you, Dean. Seth’s told me a lot about you.”

Dean’s lips twitched up, and Roman bit the inside of his cheek.

“Same.”

Seth threw an arm around both of their shoulders, and hugged them. 

“Come on, guys, let’s go inside. I wanna show Dean around, if you wanna come, Rome.”

Roman nodded, grabbing his bag off of the ground. Dean’s bag was this beat up old military olive green thing, and his black motorcycle boots accentuated his confident, even stride. Seth fell back a little, grinning at Roman. Roman blushed and lightly punched Seth in the arm.

“You’re a dick, Seth.”

“So you think he’s hot?”

Roman quieted his voice to a whisper. 

“Of course I think he’s hot, look at him!”

Roman followed the two boys into the building, listening as Seth described everything and what the day would be like. Dean listened intently, occasionally shaking his head to move his hair away from his eyes. Roman spotted the music teacher as they walked down the electives class hallway, and Seth stopped to introduce Dean to him.

“Dean, this is Mr. Hardy, he teaches all the music classes.”

Mr. Hardy held out his hand, the tattoo on his arm entirely visible. Dean shook his hand and nodded. 

“Hello, sir.”

Mr. Hardy laughed and leaned back against the wall.

“Don’t be so formal, kid. You can call me Jeff if you want.”

Roman noticed Dean’s eyes widen. He looked….starstruck?

“Wait-Jeff Hardy? You’re Brother Nero?”

Mr. Hardy smirked and Roman could swear that Dean was vibrating with excitement.

“Wow. No student’s ever heard of my work from that period.”

Dean was practically bouncing on his feet, Seth and Roman watching the exchange, with similarly fond looks on their faces.

“Of course I know it! I have prints of all your artwork, too, you’re like, one of my favorite musicians ever!”

Mr. Hardy actually blushed a little at that, beaming with pride. 

“Thank you, Dean. I hope I get to see you in one of my classes.”

Dean nodded, pulling out the piece of paper that had his schedule on it. Roman wanted to look at that, and compare it to his and Seth’s.

“Yeah, I-uh, for fifth hour, I have guitar.”

“Awesome. Seth, I always look forward to seeing you and your trumpet.”

Mr. Hardy smiled at Roman, too. 

“Always good to see you too, Reigns. You run into Dwayne yet?”

Roman frowned at the mention of his cousin and coach. 

“Not yet.”

Mr. Hardy’s smile faded. 

“He’s not happy today, so...maybe try and keep it that way.”

Seth and Dean both glanced at Roman, and he blushed. It was well-known in the school that he and his cousin had a contentious relationship, at least ever since-well. Roman didn’t like to think about it. He followed Seth and Dean as the tour continued, listening to Seth. They finally stopped and Seth pulled out his own schedule and had Roman do the same, comparing all three. He grinned and handed the papers back.

“We have everything together, except electives. Come on, let’s get good seats in first hour.”

Roman and Dean walked next to each other behind Seth, letting him lead. 

“Hey, who was that Dwayne guy Mr. Hardy mentioned?”

Roman sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“My cousin, and the football coach. He’s the vice principal, too.”

Dean nodded and hummed, walking in silence the rest of the way. The classroom wasn’t anywhere near full yet, so they were able to get seats near each other; Dean next to Roman, and Seth behind Dean. People filed in slowly, and Roman, Dean, and Seth quietly talked until Roman heard a smooth voice next to him.

“Hey, Romeo. How was your summer?”

Roman turned to see Charlotte, and stood to hug her. 

“Hey, Charlie. It was good, you?”

“It was lovely. Me and Becky spent a few weeks in Costa Rica, but had to cut our trip short.”

Roman nodded at the girl standing next to Charlotte. Becky grinned, the familiar goggles resting against her bright hair. They’d been dating for months, right after Roman and Charlotte had broken up. He’d liked dating her, she was nice, but she sat down with him in tears one day and came out as a lesbian. Roman hadn’t been disappointed or anything, and was happy to support her. They’d known each other for a decade, and he still considered her a good friend. When she’d gotten together with Finn’s friend Becky, he’d been happy for her. He noticed when Charlotte spotted Dean. 

“Well, hello, handsome. What’s your name?”

Roman rolled her eyes. She may not like men, but that didn’t stop her from being flirtatious. For what it was worth, Dean had zero change in expression, nodding at the two girls.

“Dean Ambrose. Hi.”

They took the seats in front of Dean and Roman, the other students wisely leaving the space behind Roman clear. Everyone in the school knew that was meant to be Finn’s seat, always at Seth’s side. The teacher arrived last, not at all unusual for Mr. Foley. His beard had grown out over the summer and his friendly, somewhat-toothless smile welcomed the class. 

‘Hey kids! How was everyone’s summer?”

\---

The day went by surprisingly fast, but Roman was smiling the whole time. Dean had slowly opened up to him, less quiet and apathetic, joking with him and talking to him. Roman already really liked Dean, and he knew Seth knew it. They all, as seniors, had electives at the end of the day, but didn’t finish out the day together; Roman was in dance and karate, Seth in orchestra and ballet, and Dean in guitar and art. 

Between his karate and dance class, Roman was stopped in the hallway by a loud, familiar voice. 

“Reigns! Come here.”

He turned and walked back to where his cousin stood. He crossed his arms, and shifted uncomfortably. 

“Yes?”

“Tryouts are on Thursday. I’m gonna need your help getting everything set up.”

Roman nodded.

“Is that all?”

Dwayne frowned, and nodded. 

“Yeah. That’s all.”

Roman turned and walked back down the hallway, his body stiff again. He’d have to stretch before class started. 

\---

Roman met up with Dean and Seth after school in the parking lot. He was dressed in the clothes he wore for his last two classes, and he could’ve sworn he saw Dean’s eyes widen and cheeks flush as he looked at him. Roman hoped he wasn’t just seeing what he wanted to see. 

“You guys wanna go get some food and come over? Hunter isn’t gonna be home for a while tonight, he’s got some gala or something going on.”

Roman nodded, and Dean kicked at a small rock, watching it skid across the pavement. 

“Uh...yeah, I guess. I gotta call my mom first.”

Dean pulled out his phone and walked to a quieter spot, Roman and Seth watching as he walked away. Roman didn’t even need to look at Seth to know he had a Look on his face. 

“Stop.”

“What?”

Roman rolled his eyes and turned to Seth.

“He’s fucking amazing, Seth. I hate you.”

Seth laughed and shrugged. 

“Why? I just so happen to be friends with a guy that’s one hundred percent your type, and you hate me? It’s not my fault, Roro.”

Roman kicked at the ground a little. 

“So...is he single?”

“As far as I know. And I think he’s interested.”

“Yeah, sure. He’s only known me for a day.”

“So? I fell in love with Finn the first time I looked at him.”

Roman couldn’t stop the smile on his face at that; for all his quirks and attitude, Seth was a romantic at heart, and Roman knew he meant that entirely honestly. Roman remembered Seth showing up at his house, excited and rambling about how he met his future husband. Roman pulled out his phone, texting his siblings to tell them where he’d be. He looked up at the sound of Dean’s boots on the ground.

“Alright, let’s go. I’ll follow you guys.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, Mom has to work late tonight anyway.”

Roman got into the passenger seat of Seth’s car, peeling out of the driveway with Dean right behind them. Seth blasted Blink 182 the entire way to the restaurant, singing loudly until Roman joined in. They waited for Dean before going in and ordering, Seth paying for all of it as usual-though Roman noticed the uncomfortable look on Dean’s face, and heard him quietly promise to pay Seth back. 

Seth shrugged it off, of course. Seth never blinked an eye at spending money on his friends; he had plenty of it, and never asked to be paid back. Roman loved that about Seth. He was just a good guy and a good friend, but Dean’s quiet insistence said a lot about him, too. 

The drive to Seth’s house was as loud as the drive to the restaurant had been, Roman occasionally eating a French fry out of the bags of food. Hunter’s car was still there, and they saw him checking his reflection in the foyer mirror. He smiled at the three boys. 

“Hello boys. How was the first day of school?”

“It was good. Hunter, you remember Dean, right?”

Hunter walked up to Dean, patting him on the shoulder and grinning. 

“Of course I do. How can I forget the kid who spray-painted the window of my BMW?”

Roman’s eyes widened and he watched as Dean stared Hunter right in the eye and grinned, teeth showing proudly.

“Nice to see you, sir.”

“Hey! Is that the kid who did that?”

They all turned to see Shawn-Hunter’s boyfriend-come towards them down the stairs, dressed in a suit just like Hunter. He threw an arm around Seth’s shoulders and smiled at Dean. 

“You, kid, you are my favorite. No offense to you two, but that was hilarious.”

Roman had known Hunter and Shawn his whole life, and if he knew one thing about the couple, it was that they had a damn good sense of humor. It makes sense that they wouldn’t be mad at Dean. 

Dean blushed under the attention and shrugged. 

“At least he only spray-painted your car. You should’ve seen what he did to Shane McMahon’s Mercedes.”

“You vandalized a McMahon’s car?”

Roman had never seen Shawn swell with pride until this moment.

“You and me need to collaborate on a prank sometime.”

Dean’s lopsided smile made Roman’s heart just about melt. He looked so shy and sweet. 

“Cool.”

Shawn and Hunter said goodbye and left, leaving the three boys alone. They headed upstairs to Seth’s room and all found places to sit. Roman and Dean sat on the couch-Roman could tell Dean hadn’t quite expected the opulence of the house, or the sheer size-while Seth sat on the floor, flipping through channels until he found a movie. They all ate, laughing and joking about the movie, and Roman didn’t notice Dean slowly shifting closer to him until later. 

Dean had to leave around eight, going home and getting dinner ready for his mom. Roman left then, too, hugging Seth tight and walking with Dean to his motorcycle. They stood in front of each other in silence for a few minutes, before Dean spoke.

“Hey, I...can I put my number in your phone?”

Roman nodded and handed his phone over, and Dean handed him his. He bit his lip and shifted his bag on his shoulder. 

“So-Dean, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out sometime this week?”

Dean blinked. 

“You mean with Seth?”

“I mean...we could, but I was thinking maybe just you and me? Seth’s probably gonna be busy with Finn once he gets back, and...I don’t know, you could come over to my place.”

“I’d-yeah, I’d like that. Uh. If-my house isn’t as fancy as this place, but you could come over, too. You busy on Thursday?”

Roman huffed. 

“I have tryouts after school, but after that, I’m free.”

“Cool. I’ll see you tomorrow, Roman.”

Roman smiled at Dean and nodded. 

“See you.”

\---

Roman woke up in a cold sweat, having kicked the blankets off the bed. He panted, glancing around in the dark until he found his phone and checked the time. It wasn’t even midnight yet. 

He caught his breath, and pulled up a conversation on his phone.

_ ‘You up?’ _

He waited a few moments and got a reply.

_ ‘Yeah. Nightmare?’ _

‘ _Yeah_ ’

_ ‘Be there in ten.’ _

Roman got dressed and left a note in the kitchen, quietly opening the front door to sit on the porch. A big, old, grey truck pulled up soon after, and he jogged up to the passenger seat. They didn’t talk on the way to the gym. 

Roman had known Mark Calloway for a year. Mark owned a local gym, and was known around as the ‘Undertaker’, a nickname leftover from his days as a boxer and professional fighter. He’d become a mentor and a friend to Roman, and he was always there for him. They pulled into the parking lot of the gym and Roman followed Mark in, stretching and warming up before getting into the ring. Mark helped him get a pair of boxing gloves on. 

“What’s going on?”

Roman shrugged, rolling his shoulders back. 

“I don’t know. Dwayne’s still mad, and-I don’t know. I know I can’t-I can’t blame him, cause-but-I don’t know what to do.”

Mark nodded and held up the pad for Roman to hit. 

“Let’s think about that while you practice.”

Roman nodded and began, throwing rights and lefts, letting the fluid, steady motions ground him and his thoughts.


	2. I Cannot Believe You Let Someone Tattoo Your Ass In An Abandoned Warehouse....Or Can I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> roman and dean hang out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4500 WORDS OF BOYS BEING ADORABLE AND GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER AND DEAN HAVING FUCKING NO SHAME

Dean woke up, blinking his eyes and glaring at his alarm. School started too damn early for someone who wanted to be awake all night. He turned his alarm off and sat up, going to the bathroom and then to the kitchen. There was an apple and a note on the counter. 

‘Hey honey, I made you breakfast. It’s in the oven, don’t forget to turn it off before you leave. Love, Mom.”

Dean smiled and sat at the table, eating the eggs and ham that his mom made, cutting the apple into slices and eating it last while he got dressed for the day. He’d been in school for a few days now, spending most of his free time with Seth and Seth’s friend, Roman. 

Dean had tried to hide it when he first met him, but Roman was the single most gorgeous person his poor bisexual self had ever laid eyes on. Tall, with tan skin and long, beautiful black hair. Dean was nervous about hanging out with him after school, just the two of them, but excited, too. He’d met some of Roman’s family that went to their school through the week; Jimmy and Jey, Roman’s younger twin brothers, and Nia, his younger sister. Nia was only a year below them, while Jimmy and Jey were both freshmen. Dean liked Roman’s family, so far. They all seemed nice. He grabbed an extra helmet on his way out (and after checking twice to make sure he turned the stove off), driving to school and parking next to Seth again. Seth was smoking, and Roman looked like he was telepathically trying to scold him into stopping. Roman was so hot. And sweet. 

He turned his bike off and pulled off his helmet. 

“Hey.”

“Hey dude.”

“Hi, Dean.”

Dean blushed and looked at Roman. 

“I brought an extra helmet, for later.”

Roman smiled and Dean hoped he didn’t look as lovestruck as he felt. He saw Seth rubbing his hands together with that conspiratorial little smile he had, and Dean made a mental note to smack him on the head later. He knew that Seth had very much known that Dean would end up with a crush on Roman, and Dean didn’t know whether to be grateful for that or not. 

They walked into school together and found their seats in their first class, talking. Dean was talking to Becky about where he got his boots when he heard Seth yell. 

“BABY!”

Dean stared in amazement as Seth hurdled over a few desks to get to the door, throwing his arms around the boy who’d just walked in. The boy was thin and fit and had short brown hair and bright eyes, and he was hugging Seth back tight. They kissed, too, to a few wolf-whistles and catcalls from the other kids in the class. 

This must be Finn.

Seth led the boy over to their little grouping, all smiles and leaning in to kiss his cheek. 

“Dean, this is Finn, my boyfriend, Finn, this is my friend Dean. He just started here this week.”

Dean shook Finn’s hand, and Finn smiled what was possibly the sweetest smile Dean had ever seen. 

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you, Dean.”

Dean nodded and watched as Seth and Finn kissed again before sitting down. It was nice to be in a school where people felt safe to be out like that. Though Becky had pointed out the couple of bullies who went there. But there weren’t many.    
Dean wasn’t bothered. He’d be happy to take care of any bullies that he saw. 

\---

The day went by fast, until Dean was finally in his elective courses. He already loved them more than any other class, but he’d always loved art. The art teacher was cool, too. But he really loved guitar with Mr. Hardy. That was his favorite class of the day, hands down. Mr. Hardy basically let him do as he pleased, too, ever since he found out that Dean had been learning to play since he was five. 

Dean made his way to the football field to wait for Roman. He figured he might as well watch the tryouts. He’d never been much of a sports fan, but he was a fan of Roman in gym shorts. He sat on the bleachers, pulling out his sketchbook and doodling. He heard Roman call his name, and he waved at him. The tryouts went on for a while, Roman encouraging some of the younger students. 

As the tryouts ended, Dean packed up, walking down to the field. He stopped a little ways away from where Roman stood, listening to him talking to the coach. 

“He shouldn’t be on the fucking team.”

“He’s one of our best players, Roman.”

“He’s an asshole, Dwayne, he-”

“Enough.”

Roman’s mouth snapped shut, and he glared at the coach, who glared back. Dwayne sighed, and Dean did his best to not get angry. 

“I know he’s not perfect, but there’s nothing we can do. You know what he can do, to this school, this team. To us.”

Roman ducked his head down and Dean could see the tension held in his body. The next words were said through gritted teeth.

“I know.”

Roman turned then, seeing Dean and walking over to him. Dean made eye contact with the coach, and put his hand on Roman’s back. 

“Hey. You okay?”

“I-let’s talk about it later. I’m-”

Roman took a deep breath, and looked Dean in the eye. He smiled gently and put his hand on Dean’s shoulder, rubbing it a little.

“I don’t wanna be mad when we’re together. Let’s go. My place?”

Dean nodded, hoping his face wasn’t as red as it felt. He and Roman walked to the parking lot and Dean put their backpacks into the side-bags. He handed Roman the backup helmet. Roman looked...unsure.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’ve just...never been on one of these.”

Dean smirked and got on, looking over his shoulder. 

“C’mon. It’s easy. Just don’t move around a whole lot, and hold onto me tight.”

Roman still looked nervous as he gave Dean the directions to his house, but put on the helmet, and Dean put on his own. He waited until Roman’s arms were around his midsection to drive out of the parking lot. He’d usually go faster, but he didn’t want to scare Roman. He knew it could be a little nerve-wracking the first time on a motorcycle. He was really enjoying the feeling of Roman’s arms around him, Roman’s thick, muscled chest pressed against his back. 

Dean was almost sad when they got to Roman’s house. 

It wasn’t as big as Seth’s, but, while Roman was well-off, his family wasn’t nearly as wealthy as Seth’s. But the house was nice and big and clearly well-maintained, and well-loved. Roman led Dean in, calling out a greeting to the house. The twins came running up to him, throwing their arms around him. It made Dean smile. They were sweet kids, and it was obvious to anyone that Roman’s siblings were his whole world, and all four kids were close.

The twins greeted him, too, mentioning to Roman that Nia was at her girlfriend’s house. Roman led Dean into the kitchen, grabbing them something to drink. Dean looked around at the bright colors of the house, pictures of family everywhere. There was one they passed in the hallway to Roman’s room that caught his eye.

It was huge, at least three dozen people in the picture. 

“That was from my aunt’s wedding a few years ago.”

Dean looked at Roman, who was standing next to him, smiling.

“Your family is fuckin’ huge, dude.”

“Ha, I know. We have the biggest family in town. Most of us still live here, but some moved back to Samoa.” 

“You guys are Samoan?”

“Well, some of us are mixed. I’m Samoan and Italian, Dwayne is Samoan and his dad is black. A couple of people, like my mom, have been married more than once, too, so...lots of kids.”

Dean looked at all of the people in the picture while Roman talked. He spotted Roman in the picture, younger and smaller. Must have been before a growth spurt. He was standing between two much bigger guys, and they were all smiling, arms around each other. 

“Hey, who’re these two? The guys you’re next to in the picture.”

Roman went quiet, not smiling anymore. Dean tensed up, worried that he’d done something wrong. 

“I’ll...come on, I’ll tell you in my room.”

Dean nodded and followed him. Roman’s room was nice; clean, mostly organized, light blue walls and two big windows. They sat on the bed, and Roman rubbed his forehead. He grabbed a framed picture off of his wall and handed it to Dean. It was Roman and the two guys from the picture, a candid, all three of them smiling. 

“The one on the left is my brother. We called him Rosey. The one in the middle was my cousin, Ed. They were both two years older than me, and they-they were my best friends. We grew up together, and we were damn near inseparable.”

There was a lot of past tense words being said, and Dean’s mood became very somber. 

“We-there was-”

Dean looked up from the picture to Roman, seeing his eyes wet, clearly struggling. 

“Hey, you don’t have to-”

“No, it’s-everyone tells me to talk about it, like-it’ll help. I don’t know if I believe that, but...a year ago, almost, we..Rosey was driving us around, and-this fucking truck came out of nowhere-I was in the back, and I was okay, just cut up a little from the glass breaking-but they both-there was nothing to do.”

Roman sniffed and wiped his face, and Dean set the picture down. He scooted closer to Roman and put his hand over Roman’s. They didn’t speak for a while. 

“That’s terrible, Roman. I’m….I know what it’s like to lose someone like that. Talking about it doesn’t make it better, or easier. Sometimes nothing does. But-I know we haven’t known each other for long, but if you ever just wanna feel like shit about it, you can feel like shit with me.”

Roman looked at him, big brown eyes still wet, and he pulled Dean into a tight hug. Dean hesitated before hugging back, one hand tangling in Roman’s hair. 

“Thank you.”

Dean shrugged and let Roman hug him. He hated talking about the shit he’d been through, and he hated when people said they were sorry, and he hated people acting like you had to deal with all of your traumas perfectly. Dean knew that the best way to deal with things sometimes was to accept that there were times you just had to sit there and feel like shit.

Roman pulled away and sniffled, laughing a little.

“Sorry, shit, I-I kinda-sorry, this is a shit way to start the night.”

Dean shrugged again and pulled off his boots, moving on the bed until he could sit back against the wall.

“It’s cool. I meant it. I don’t mind listening.”

“...Thanks, Dean. I-do you wanna play something? You can pick.”

Dean grinned and looked through Roman’s collection of video games, picking something while Roman got the tv and console started. 

“I’m not saying I’m gonna kick your ass at this game, Ro, but….I’m totally gonna.”

“You gonna walk that walk or just talk that talk?”

Dean laughed and blushed as Roman sat next to him, their knees bumping against each other while they played. 

\---

There was a knock on Roman’s door, and both boys looked up to see who it was. Dean and Roman had finished playing a few video games and had moved on to watching a show on Netflix that Dean thought Roman would like. A man came in, presumably Roman’s step-father.

“Hello. You must be Dean.”

“Hello, sir.”

“Roman, can I speak to you for a moment?”

Dean and Roman glanced at each other, Roman following his stepfather. Dean waited, checking a few things on his phone until he heard raised voices. 

“He can screw himself!”

“Watch your tone with me.”

Roman was suddenly back in the room, slamming the door shut. Dean was pretty sure he heard Roman growl.

“Roman? Should I go?”

Roman shook his head. 

“No. I think we both should. I can’t be in this house right now.”

Dean frowned and stood, gathering all his stuff and the two helmets. He and Roman walked past the kitchen, where his stepfather was fuming. Jimmy and Jey nodded at Roman as they passed them, and once they were outside, Dean stopped Roman, holding onto his wrist. 

“Are they gonna be okay?”

“What?”

“Jimmy and Jey. With your stepdad, are they gonna be okay with him alone?”

“Oh. Yeah, no, they’ll be fine. He only ever….he doesn’t hit any of us, he just only fights with me.”

Dean let go of Roman’s wrist. 

“That’s fucked up.”

“Yeah.”

“Uh...if you want, you can….stay at my house tonight, or something….”

Dean stared at the grass under his feet and waited. 

“I don’t wanna impose-”

“You wouldn’t be, trust me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I mean-if you don’t want to, you don’t have to, but...I don’t know, I don’t want you to have to come back here and then deal with your stepdad yelling at you again.”

Dean looked up in surprise when Roman grabbed his hand. Roman squeezed it, looking into Dean’s eyes.

“That means a lot to me, Dean. You’re a really, really good friend.”

Dean felt a very genuine smile come to his face, and he felt oddly shy. He never really felt that shy, but Roman seemed to bring out a new side of him.

“I have to go get some stuff. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Dean nodded, mourning the loss of Roman’s hand on his, and pulled out his phone while Roman went back in the house. He brought up his mom’s contact and called her.

“Dean? Everything alright?”

“Yeah, Mom. Um….can Roman stay the night with us?”

He chewed on his lip waiting for the answer. 

“Uh-yeah, of course. What does he like to eat? I’ll come home and make dinner for you two.”

“Mom, you don’t gotta-”

“Honey, I want to. I’m happy you’re making new friends, and….you never really invite people over. Let me be an overbearing mother for once.”

Dean laughed. He loved his mom.

“Okay. Uh...I think spaghetti and stuff should be fine? He mentioned he liked pasta.”

“Alright. I’ll go to the store after work. Do you need anything else?”

“Do...we have the money for anything else right now?”

“It’ll be okay, Dean. This job pays a lot more, I just have to pay some things off and we’ll be fine. I can afford to get something special at the store for you and your friend.”

“I guess...maybe something sweet?”

“Okay, honey. I’ll see you at home. I love you, songbird.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

Roman approached him as he hung up, a bag slung over his shoulder. He and Dean put their helmets on and Dean drove to his house, going a little faster this time, Roman squeezing him a little tighter.

\---

Dean unlocked the door, the slight embarrassment only now hitting him. He never had many friends over at any of the places they’d lived, because...well, their house was small and kind of a mess, and that’d been true for all of the places they’d lived. He knew Roman was used to much, much more, but he didn’t think Roman was the kind of person to be an asshole to poor people.

“My mom is gonna make spaghetti, I hope that’s cool. She’s not gonna be home for a bit.”

Roman’s face lit up and he smiled. 

“That sounds awesome.”

Dean took off his jacket and hung it up, taking off his boots near the door. He gestured around. 

“Uh. This is home sweet home, the kitchen’s right there, the living room. Bathroom is next to my room. Do you want something to drink? We probably have something-”

Roman and Dean ended up with bottles of juice, and Dean nervously led Roman to his room. He let Roman walk in first, waiting on his reaction. He watched Roman look around, setting his bag against the foot of the bed. Dean’s room was the opposite of Roman’s; dark walls, covered in posters and papers, his guitar and bass and amps in one corner, piles of paper with songs written on them scattered around. Roman reached up and traced one of the pictures on the wall, just barely running his finger over it.

“Wow. This is….so fucking cool, Dean.”

There was such a quiet honesty in his voice that Dean had to take a step back. Roman was looking closely at a few pictures, and Dean moved to stand next to him.

“Did you draw these?”

Dean nodded. They were some of his older pictures, but he was proud of them.

“You’re really, really talented, Dean. These are amazing.”

“....Thank you.”

Roman turned his attention to the instruments in the corner. 

“So you play both?”

“Yeah. I only play bass for Mom’s band, though.”

“You’re in a band? With your mom?”

There wasn’t anything denigrating in Roman’s tone, and Dean didn’t immediately feel defensive like he’d felt with others. 

“Yeah. For three years. I write some of the songs, too.”

Roman had an, and Dean couldn’t think of another word for it, awestruck look on his face. 

“You’re a songwriter, too? Is there anything you can’t do?”

“Play football, probably.”

Roman laughed and Dean felt his stomach do a pleasant flip. He sat on the bed and Roman followed, Dean pulling something to watch up on his laptop. They had to sit fairly close for both of them to see it, but Dean couldn’t bring himself to mind that. He would occasionally sneak glances at Roman, studying his strong profile, his full lips, his long, gorgeous hair. Roman caught him looking once, and just smiled, the faintest hint of a flush coming to his cheeks. 

Two hours later, they heard someone come in, a voice muffled by the closed door.

“Dean? Honey? You home?”

“Yeah, Mom, we’re in my room!”

Dean stood and stretched. 

“C’mon.”

Roman seemed happy to follow him into the kitchen. His mom walked in the propped-open door with a bag of groceries, that Roman immediately rushed to help her with. 

“Thank you-you must be Roman.”

Roman stood and looked at Dean’s mom, and his eyes were wide.

“Wow.”

Dean grinned. That was most people’s reaction to his mom, and for good reason. His mom was beautiful. Her hair was long and red and she had kickass tattoos, and Dean knew a lot of men liked that she tended to wear shirts that showed off her stomach. He didn’t like most of the men who made that known, but he thought Roman’s reaction was cute nonetheless. 

“I’m Amy, Dean’s mom. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. Ambrose.”

“Please, call me Lita, everyone does.”

Roman ducked his head down, smiling. Dean moved to sit on the little dining table they had.

“How was your day?”

Lita sighed, but reached out to ruffle Dean’s hair before putting up the groceries. Roman offered to help, but she declined.

“Long, but not bad. I only have to go in for a few hours tomorrow, so I get to sleep in late. So guess what we get to do tomorrow?”

“Clean?”

She gave him a Look, and he shrugged. 

“No, we can plan what you wanna do for your birthday.”

“Your birthday’s coming up?”

Dean looked at Roman, closing in on himself a little. 

“Yeah. It’s in a few weeks.”

Roman didn’t respond, but pretty clearly was making a mental note of it. Dean hoped he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. Dean hated his birthday.

Lita nudged him with a spoon.

“Go on, I need the space to get dinner started.”

“Is there anything I can help with, Miss-sorry, uh..Lita?”

Lita smiled approvingly at Roman, glancing to her son with a raised eyebrow. 

“No, thank you though, Roman. You two go have fun. Actually, here-”

She pulled her wallet out, handing Dean a ten.

“If you want, you can walk down to the store and get some drinks for tonight. Sorry we don’t have much here.”

Dean and Roman looked at each other, silently agreeing to go. They put their shoes on and left as Lita was putting up her hair. 

\---

They got back in thirty minutes-each of them had gotten a soda and Dean had grabbed one for his mom, too. Dinner was well underway and Lita greeted them as they walked in.

“I didn’t know what you guys’ sleeping arrangement was, but I pulled out the extra blankets and pillows in case one of you is sleeping on the couch.”

Dean blushed at the mild implication that he and Roman would share a bed. He led Roman into the living room, turning on the tv and letting Roman choose what to watch. They sat there, watching the Simpsons, until his mom called out that dinner was ready.  They all sat in the living room to eat, Lita pulling on her glasses and sitting cross-legged in the armchair, looking at a stack of papers, while Roman and Dean laughed and joked. 

“This is really, really good, Miss-sorry. Lita. Thank you for cooking for us.”

“It’s no problem, Roman. I don’t cook much, but I like to do something special when Dean has company.”

After a while, she stood and stretched, taking her dishes to the sink. Dean turned to look at her.

“I can take care of those later, Mom.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll do them tomorrow. I’m gonna head to bed, though. Roman, it was really nice to meet you, you boys can wake me up if you need anything.”

She kissed Dean on the top of his head and ruffled his hair. 

“Goodnight, songbird.”

“Night, Mom.”

Roman and Lita said good night as well, and she went off to her room. Roman and Dean sat in relative silence for a while. 

“Your mom is really cool.”

“Yeah.”

Roman shifted a little closer to Dean. Neither of them said anything, but Dean flushed a deep red.

“Uh-you can take my bed, or the couch, or-I mean, if you’re okay with it, we could just share my bed-I don’t really care which-”

“You’d be okay with sharing?”

Dean nodded. 

“Yeah, like, I used to share with my friends at other schools all the time. I don’t mind.”

Roman cleared his throat, and Dean glanced at him, noting the small smile on his face. 

“I think that’d be nice. Sharing, I mean.”

“Cool. We-we should probably get to bed soon, actually, it’s kinda late.”

Dean let Roman get ready for bed first, then quickly brushed his teeth and changed into pajama pants. He debated putting on a shirt, and ultimately decided against it. Roman had been around plenty of shirtless men before, he wouldn’t mind. And Dean could always put a blanket between them. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and took a deep breath. This would be fine. This would totally be fine. He walked into his room and saw Roman laying back on the bed, checking his phone, wearing gym shorts and no shirt. 

This maybe would not be so fine.

Dean swallowed and laid down next to Roman, eyes trained on the tattoo on his chest. Roman must have noticed his staring.

“You like it?”

“Yeah, it’s...that’s really cool, Ro.”

Roman shifted to lean on one elbow, letting Dean get a better look at his chest. It was an intricate design, all in black ink. 

“What is it?”

“It’s something a lot of Samoans get done, but each design is special.”

Dean noticed Roman looking at a few spots on his chest and blushed.

“Where’d you get yours?”

Dean had a myriad of small tattoos all over his body. They were all done at home, stick-and-poke, simple designs. 

“Did a lot of ‘em myself. Couple of friends did some.”

Dean brought his hand up, showing the three little music notes on his inner wrist. 

“This one’s my favorite.”

Roman inspected the ink, smiling softly.

“It’s cute.”

He gently poked at one on Dean’s chest. 

“What about this one?”

It was a switchblade, with two names on it. 

“That’s from my old friend. His parents made him move away and we barely talk anymore.”

Roman’s plush lips twitched down, and Dean bit his lips.

“I also got this one.”

Dean shifted onto his back, pulling his pajama pants down on one side just enough for Roman to see the skin on his hip. There was a tiny skull with x’s for eyes there.

“A guy I knew did that at a party last year….do you wanna see the kind of embarrassing one i have?”

Roman’s eyes lit up like a damned Christmas tree, and he nodded.

“I abso-fucking-lutely do.”

Dean blushed and turned until his back was to Roman, and he pulled his pajama pants down again, just enough for Roman to see-

“Oh my God, dude. Dude.”

“I know, right?”

He’d always been a little embarrassed about it. There were three hearts of various sizes, above the word ‘dumbass’ in capital letters, right on his ass.

“How...how did that even happen?”

Dean sighed and pulled his pants back up, smiling at his own memories. 

“I was totally in for this chick at the last place we lived, and we were at this party, and I was basically doing stupid shit to impress her, and she saw some of my other tats and asked if she could give me one, and I agreed.”

“Did it work?”

“Not a fucking bit, dude. But I had a good night anyway. I put my head through one of those long fluorescent bulbs.”

“Why-Dean.”

“What? We were a crazy bunch of kids with no supervision and fake ids in an industrial lot. Had to find something to do.”

“How are you still alive, dude?”

There was a sweet humor in Roman’s voice, a laughter to it, and Dean knew he wasn’t being judged. He felt safe with Roman. That was new for Dean. 

“Luck or determination, I dunno which.”

He turned back around to lay on his back, Roman still leaning on one elbow, watching him.

“Hey, I don’t-I don’t mean to get all mushy, but….I’m really happy Seth introduced us, I’m-I’m really happy we’re friends.”

Dean blushed, tempted to hide his face. He glanced away from Roman, not wanting to meet his lovely brown eyes.

“I’m-yeah, I...I’m happy we’re friends, too, Ro.”

They were silent for a bit, before Dean sat up, turning his lamp off. 

“We should get some sleep. Night, Ro.”

“Good night, Dean.”

Dean curled up, Roman’s heat and weight making the bed more comfortable than it’d ever been.

\---


	3. Kicking Ass, Taking Names, and Eating At Bright Aesthetic Diners: The Real Queer Agenda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finn has a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so IN THEORY the idea is for this to have a different pov every chapter, switching between roman, dean, finn, and seth, not necessarily in that order. idr if i mentioned that or not. either way! this chapter is cute!

Finn moaned, laughing a little against his boyfriend’s mouth, pulling away from the kiss. Seth licked at his lips before pulling away, and Finn looked into Seth’s big brown eyes and felt the same warmth spread through him as every time Seth looked at him. 

“I missed you, love.”

“I missed you too, Finn. God, I hate being without you. I can’t wait to go to college with you and live with you.”

Finn blushed, and knew Seth would enjoy the pink tint to his face. He loved listening to his boyfriend talk about long-term plans. 

Seth Rollins was his first boyfriend since coming out, which he did at the beginning of his second year of high school. Soon after, he’d caught Seth’s eye, and the long-haired boy had courted him like a classical suitor for months. Finn had been hesitant, but when he’d looked out his window two years ago, on a warm, balmy night in May, and seen Seth standing in the road, playing a romantic song on his trumpet, Finn’s neighbor, Xavier, and his two friends accompanying Seth (Xavier, Big E, and Kofi were sweethearts like that), Finn has just known it would be worth it. Anything could happen, and it would be worth it.

They’d been together ever since. And it’d been worth it.

Finn laughed as Seth nuzzled him, the barely-there stubble tickling his skin. 

“You’re sweet, Seth. I love you.”

“Mmm. I love you too, prince.”

Finn rolled his eyes at the nickname. It had originated from the first time Roman had seen them together, noting that Seth had ‘finally nabbed his Disney prince.’ He didn’t mind it, at all, he thought it was nice. 

Seth hugged him for a while, just cuddling up to him on the bed, but Finn felt him sigh heavily. 

“Hey? What’s that about?”

Seth shrugged, but didn’t answer. That wasn’t a good sign. Seth loved to talk.

“Seth, love…”

His boyfriend sighed again and sat up, rubbing his forehead.

“Mom and Dad aren’t coming home for my birthday.”

Finn’s jaw dropped. 

“What? They promised!”

Seth shrugged again, bringing his knees up to his chest. Finn would’ve thought it cute, but he looked so painfully sad. Finn knew Seth loved his parents, as little as he saw them, and it hurt him that they didn’t come around much. Finn was happy Seth had Hunter and Shawn; they’d been better parents than Mr. and Mrs. Rollins had ever been.

Finn wrapped his arms around Seth, holding him tight. He kissed the side of Seth’s head, nuzzling his soft, long hair. 

“I’m sorry. That’s fucking ridiculous.”

Seth smiled, still clearly sad.

“It’s….I guess it’s not okay, but. I don’t know. I mean, I have Hunter and Shawn, and Roman, and now Dean is here too, and….I have you. I’m not yearning for family.”

Finn almost wanted to cry. His boyfriend had such a good attitude about this; even when things got him down, he did his absolute best to see the good in life. Seth Rollins wouldn’t let a damn thing get him down. 

Finn kissed his temple again, holding him tighter until Seth returned his embrace, kissing him on the lips and moving to lay on top of Finn. Finn very much liked this sort of mood, and he smiled against Seth’s lips. 

“You know what I can’t wait for, love?”

“Yeah, angelcakes?”

“To be Mister Finn Rollins.”

Seth’s eyes widened and he smiled a big, bright smile. 

“You’re gonna take my name?”

“I’d be honored to, darling.”

Seth kissed him deeply again, and kissed at his neck and chin and all over his face, while Finn laughed and poked at Seth’s sides.

\---

Finn happily walked along the back of the building, having stayed late at school to help his coach. Mrs. Wilson was a phenomenal tennis player, and he loved learning from her. He hadn’t brought his headphones this morning, which was annoying, but he supposed the walk home wouldn’t be too bad. 

He saw movement in his peripheral, and tensed, but kept moving. He wanted nothing to do with Brock, not now or ever. The boy was a bully, the worst the school had, but never seemed to get in trouble. 

Perhaps because of his uncle and lawyer, who’d threatened lawsuits against the school multiple times. 

Finn was particularly annoyed with Brock as of late, since Brock had taken to saying rather racist and just generally unkind things to Roman. Finn loved and adored Roman, and hated that anything like that happened to him. But the school was predominantly white and conservative; Finn was lucky to have such an open-minded family, and to have a boyfriend with one, too. 

“Hey, Balor, how’re things being Rollins’ bitch?”

Finn rolled his eyes and ignored him. He knew most of the homophobic people in the school were under the presumption that Finn was somehow the ‘woman’ in his relationship-odd, given that neither of them were women-and that he was under Seth’s thumb or something of the sort. He’d never cared for those opinions, knowing they were objectively wrong. 

But damned if it wasn’t annoying to hear anyway.

“Hey! I fucking asked you a question!”

Finn sighed, turning around. Brock moved to stand in front of him, trying to be big and intimidating. Finn glared up at him. 

“If you really want to know, things are lovely. I’m having a grand time being Seth’s bitch. I appreciate your interest and concern in my relationship, Mister Lesnar, have a nice evening.”

Finn began to turn, but felt a strong hand on his shoulder pulling him back. He was suddenly shoved against the wall, and he grunted at the impact against his back. He winced and glared at Brock again. Brock was approaching him, slowly, and Finn braced for the inevitable impact.

That never came.

A pale figure with a head of messy red hair came out of nowhere, tackling Brock to the ground. Finn stared, finally recognizing the figure as Dean Ambrose, Seth’s friend. Dean had one hand tangled in the collar of Brock’s shirt, the other hand coming down in a fist on Brock’s head. 

“THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? YOU THINK YOU CAN FUCK WITH PEOPLE? FUCK WITH ME THEN, BITCH!”

Finn blinked for a moment, still shocked at the turn of events. He finally pushed off of the wall and moved to grab Dean, pulling him off of Brock and grabbing his hand, leading him to the parking lot. Dean handed him a helmet and told him to hold on tight, and Finn did as they peeled out of the driveway, Finn catching a glimpse of Brock chasing after them. Dean drove fast, and they finally stopped in a nearby neighborhood. 

Finn waited as Dean turned off the bike, and he hopped off, taking the helmet off with shaky hands. Dean was breathing heavily, too, and he looked at Finn. 

“You okay, dude?”

Finn nodded, trying to calm his nerves. 

“That was a bit stupid, Dean.”   
“What d’you mean?”

“Picking a fight with Brock.”

“Hey, he picked the fucking fight, he just didn’t think it’d be a real fight. He shouldn’t’ve come at you like that.”

“I know that, but-he has power, Dean, he can ruin your life.”

Finn watched, surprised at Dean’s reaction: an even facial expression and a shrug.

“Life’s already not been that great. What can he do? Make us move again? Break my bike? I can live anywhere. I can fix my bike. He can fucking try it, and I won’t regret a goddamn thing.”

Finn blinked. He’d not talked to Dean much since they met, only here and there, but he liked the boy. He’d wanted to know more about him, but Dean seemed…..hesitant, to open up. But he was just so damn interesting. Finn walked closer to Dean, who was still leaning on the bike. 

“Thank you, Dean. It means a lot to me that you’d do something like that to protect me.”

Dean blushed and ducked his head down. 

“Weren’t nothing. I….I don’t like bullies, I guess? Uh. You’re welcome. I guess.”

“Would you like to get something to eat? I’d like to thank you for helping me out.”

Finn heard Dean’s stomach growl, and he laughed. Dean’s blush deepened and he nodded. 

“Uh...I guess, yeah, I...didn’t really eat today.”

Finn frowned, but put the helmet back on and got back on the bike, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist. Dean drove them to a diner, in a part of the town Finn had never been to before. He followed Dean into the restaurant, looking at the bright colors of the interior, the sounds of an oldies’ station over the speaker. An older woman greeted them and led them to a booth near the back. Finn looked around, finally settling his eyes on Dean, eyes turning worried when he saw his hands.   
“Dean, your hands are-”

“It happens, don’t worry about it.”

They ordered their drinks and sat there, silent for a few minutes, before Dean spoke.

“So why was he picking on you anyway?”

Finn snorted.

“I’m here and queer and not very quiet about it. He’s never been a fan of us damn gays.”

Dean laughed and Finn felt very proud, getting a smile out of him. 

“Has he done it before?”

“There have been a few….incidents.”

“Why the fuck is he still in the school? Seems like a lot of people don’t like him.”

“Unfortunately, a lot of people in our school share his opinions. They’re just not violent about it. And, like I said...he has quite a bit of power. His family is powerful and his uncle is a jackass, but he’s a damned effective lawyer.”

Dean frowned. He seemed really, really mad, and Finn reached out, gently touching his hand. Dean stared at the point of contact, tense and unsure.

“Please be careful, Dean. If anything happens, call Seth. His uncle is the only one who’s been able to put the fear of God in that son of a bitch.”

Dean nodded, and the waitress came back with their food. Finn moaned in an almost obscene way.

“Oh my God, Dean, this place is amazing.”

Dean’s posture straightened in pride. Finn had never really been to this part of the town before, heeding his parents’ warnings about it. They’d always spun stories about how it was dangerous and unrefined, but being here now, Finn thought maybe they weren’t entirely right. Finn finished his food, and bit his lip. He didn’t really want to stop hanging out with Dean. 

“Dean?”

Dean looked up from where he was hunched over his food, mouth full of fries.

“Mm?”

“May I ask why you moved here? Seth didn’t want to get into your business.”

Dean swallowed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“Uh...I mean, I got kicked out of my last school, and my mom lost her job, and then I went on scholarship to this stupid camp-I guess it wasn’t that stupid, cause I met Seth-but I told him about what’d happened and he ended up talking to his parents, and they gave my mom a job at their business here. Seth was pretty hell bent on me coming here.”

“Once my love gets an idea in his head, he certainly doesn’t let it go. How are you liking it here?”

Dean’s cheeks flushed a little, and he cleared his throat.

“I-its okay. I like it. Our house is nicer than our last one, and I like being around Seth and Ro-around Roman.”

Finn raised an eyebrow at that tone and the stumble. Dean glanced away, blush deepening.

“Oh my goodness.”

“No.”

“You like him?”

Dean looked at him before sighing, dropping his head onto the table. 

“Seth is a fucking dickhead. Your boyfriend is an asshole, he knew exactly what I’d think when I met Roman.”

Finn laughed, not meanly, but sympathetically; he was pretty sure seeing Roman the first year after his growth spurt was what convinced him he was, without a doubt, one hundred percent gay.

“He is something, I don’t blame you. And Seth just wants everyone to be happy, and he’s very good at it.”

Dean looked up at him, face still smushed against the surface of the table.

“He’s so fucking hot, dude. He was shirtless in my bed and I thought I was gonna fucking die.”

Finn gasped, leaning in.

“Shirtless? In your bed? Oh, so you saw the tattoo?”

“The tat, his abs, I think I saw Jesus at one point.”   
They laughed, sitting there and talking about boys and friends and school, until Finn noticed it was getting dark out. 

“Oh, fuck me, I’ve gotta let my parents know what happened and why I’m late.”

Dean nodded and stood up to pay for the meal. It was smart, Finn realized. Dean didn’t seem like the type to want to be paid for. Maybe it was a fear of owing a debt.

Finn wouldn’t ever make Dean pay him back, for anything, not after today. Finn texted his father, telling him a brief version of what happened and who he was with, leaving out where they were. His parents could be a bit strict when it came to staying out. They were just protective, though; he knew part of it came from him being gay, and he understood that. 

He followed Dean out of the diner, stopping him before they were both on the motorcycle.

“Dean? Do you have any plans tonight?”

Dean shook his head, leaning on his bike once again. Finn bit the inside of his cheek and kicked at the dirt with his heel. 

“Do...you wanna come over? I’ve been hoping to get to know you, Seth and Roman talk so highly of you-”

“I...don’t think your parents would like me, Finn.”

“Why not?”

Dean snorted.

“Look at me.”

Finn shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Well….I like you, so it doesn’t matter what they think.”

Dean hesitated, still, and Finn was about to gently rescind the offer, but Dean nodded, messy hair falling in front of his eyes.

“Okay. I-uh...I mean, I like you too, Finn. You’re cool.”

Finn grinned and put the helmet on, hugging onto Dean for the whole ride to Finn’s home. It was a stately house, and Dean, at Finn’s insistence, parked in the circle drive instead of on the curb. Finn led Dean into the house, his parents greeting them at the front door. Neither looked angry, but definitely worried.

“Finn? Are you okay?”

He nodded, letting them fuss over him for a moment. He noticed Dean standing awkwardly near the door. Finn moved away from his parents, putting his hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“I’m okay because of my friend Dean, though. He saved me.”

Dean ducked his head down, shrugging.

“Didn’t….really do that much.”

Finn’s parents were savvy enough to realize that Dean didn’t want a lot of fuss, so they quietly thanked him, shaking his hand, before going back to whatever it was they’d been doing. Finn grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him along to his room. He hoped Dean was okay with all of the physical contact; Finn was an affectionate person, a very physical one, and he touched people out of instinct. He’d stop, if asked, but Dean hadn’t yet asked for him to stop. He sighed and stretched, once they were finally in his room, and he turned to face Dean.

He was looking around, very nervously, fidgeting with his hands. 

“You can sit down, Dean. Anywhere you want, you don’t have to stand there. Get comfortable.”

“Don’t know if that’s possible in this house.”

Finn sat on the bed and took his shoes off. 

“Why?”

“You’re….I felt the same way at Seth’s house, I’m just...not used to fuckin’ opulence.”

Finn frowned. He hadn’t thought about that. Of course, maybe that said something about him and his status in life. He patted the bed next to him, and Dean-still nervous-came and sat next to him. He looked up at the huge pride flag hanging on the wall above Finn’s bed, and Finn grinned.

“So….I take it you’re….”

Dean blushed.

“Um...I’m not gay, but-I mean-I am bi, you know?”

Finn’s smile brightened even more. It was always nice to know that there were more and more queer kids in their school. 

“Hey, Finn?”

“Hm?”

“So….uh...how long have you known Seth? And...and Roman?”

Finn leaned back on his hands, sighing. 

“Well...we’ve gone to school together since my family moved here when I was in eighth grade, but we didn’t talk much until maybe sophomore year. That’s when I came out, and when Seth really noticed me. When he and I started to get to know each other, Roman was always just kind of...there. I mean, I think I’ve been on speaking terms with Roman longer, actually. He was always so sweet, and he’d help me if people were bullying me. Roman doesn’t like that sort of thing.”

Dean ducked his head down, letting his hair fall in his eyes-it seemed to be a common action with him when he was embarrassed.

“So like...I don’t know….is he...single?”

“As far as I know.”

“Cool, cool. Uh….do you know if maybe-if he-”

“I don’t feel it’s right to tell you outright what Roman considers his orientation to be, but I will say….you have a good chance.”

Dean’s eyes widened, but he quickly blushed, trying to cover the smile that came to his lips. Finn laughed and tossed the remote for the tv to Dean. 

“Pick something. We’ve got a bunch of movies, too, if you’d like. Do you mind if I work on some homework?”

Dean left it on a random channel and pulled out his own homework. They sat together on Finn’s bed, working on the classes they shared. Finn always had trouble with history, as much as he liked it. It was one of his favorite classes, but for the life of him, he just couldn’t retain a lot of the information. Dean suggested a few memory tricks-which he apparently used for music-and Finn kept them in mind. Once they finished as much as they wanted to, Dean laid down on the bed and sighed. Finn watched him as he closed his eyes. 

“Man, this bed is fucking amazing.”

Finn laughed and laid next to him, both of them facing the ceiling.   
“I feel like I want to thank you again, but I also feel like you might not be the type to enjoy being thanked so much.”

Dean shrugged, eyes still closed. 

“I dunno, man. I mean. I don’t think it was a big deal. I just came back to the school cause I dropped my cigarettes somewhere and didn’t want to have to buy more, but I saw you two, and then-he shoved you, and started walking up on you, and I wasn’t gonna let that fly. I mean, maybe if you’d started the fight, I’da left you to it, but that was just that dickwad being a bully.”

Finn smiled, turning his head to look at Dean. 

“You’re a pretty great person, Dean. I can see why Seth talks so much about you.” 

Dean turned his head, and smiled, too. It was a sweet, small, genuine smile, and it looked like Dean didn’t break it out much. 

“When do you have to be home?”

Dean shrugged. 

“Doesn’t matter. As long as Mom knows where I am and it’s not anywhere dangerous, I can stay out however late I want. But...I mean….if you want me to go, I can-”

“Oh! No, Dean, I didn’t mean that. I just didn’t want you to get in trouble. My parents are fairly strict about curfews, and I thought maybe yours were, too.”

“Mom has always been pretty chill. She knows I can-well, usually, take care of myself. Plus I have my own ride, and keys to the house. Not like I’ll end up stuck anywhere.”

“That must be nice. My mum and dad have always been….overprotective. Especially once I came out.”

“It’s probably just cause they don’t want you getting hurt. It comes from a good place.”

Finn sighed. 

“I know. It just...can get frustrating. I’d like to experience at least a bit of the world before I graduate.”

Dean was biting his lip, and he sat up, staring down at Finn.

“You know….if you want...there’s this punk concert coming up, not really a concert, it’s this little fuckin’ house show in a barn outside of the city. The band is really cool, I saw them once last year. I could sneak you out, if you wanna experience the world for real.”

Finn felt his stomach flip in excitement. Sneaking out? To a punk rock show? He’d never even dreamt of doing anything like that. But….it was tempting. The idea of going against his parents’ wishes, doing something they’d consider bad. 

“I-that sounds….definitely. I want to. I’ve never-that’s so exciting, I’ve never snuck out before or been to any sort of concert-”

Dean was grinning and he stood up, grabbing his helmet. 

“Let me get your number. We can talk more about it at school, too. Though...you might wanna invest in some different clothes. I’ll take you around some thrift stores, get you something more fitting.”

Finn smiled until his cheeks hurt, putting his number in Dean’s phone. 

“I’d like that a lot, Dean. We should hang out again soon, I really enjoyed tonight. Thank you for helping on my history homework, and...you know. Everything else.”

Dean was still smiling, and Finn felt proud. 

“It was nothing.”

Finn walked him out to his motorcycle, watching as he sped off into the night. Finn couldn’t stop smiling. He passed by his parents on the way to his room. 

“Have a good time, son?”

“I did. Dean’s a great guy, I’m really happy he moved here.”

He went to his room, finally checking his phone. He’d been too busy with Dean to bother, and gasped at the three missed calls and many, many messages. He knew some people would be annoyed with that from their partners, but he never was. He liked how loved it made him feel. He called Seth’s number back and put the phone on speaker while he changed his clothes. 

“Finn? Finn, baby, are you there? I was so fucking worried, baby, I know you stayed late but then you never answered my messages and then you didn’t answer my calls, and I thought maybe you turned your phone off, but you never turn your phone off and I was so worried-”

“Seth, love, love, calm down. I’m okay. There was….an incident, after school.”

“‘Incident’? What happened? Does Hunter need to hear this?”

Finn smiled fondly and rolled his eyes, grabbing his phone and taking it to bed with him and taking it off of speaker.

“No, darling. I-I was getting ready to walk home, and Brock came up and was very rude, and he-well….he pushed me against the wall-”

“HE PUT HIS HANDS ON YOU?”

“Seth, my love, let me finish. He pushed me against the wall, and he was about to attack me, but….Dean was there.”

“Wait. What? Dean? My Dean? Roman’s Dean?”

Finn noted that, and planned to ask later. 

“Yes, that Dean. He apparently left something at school and came back to pick it up, saw Brock being Brock, and he just….jumped on him. It was amazing. I’ve never seen anyone get the jump on Brock like that, nor have I ever seen Brock quite so mad.”

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, is Dean-is he okay? Where is he?”

“Well, he’s probably home by now. But he and I hung out for a bit afterward. He’s...he’s really something, love. We went out to eat and then came to my house.”

“Fuck. Shit. I’m-fuck, I’m happy he helped you, but-God, fucking asshole is gonna come after him-baby, I’m sorry, can I call you back in a few minutes? I need to-I have to talk to Dean.”

“Absolutely, love. I told him to call you for your uncle if he had any...problems.”

“I love you, Finn.”

“And I love you.”

They hung up, and Finn laid down and pulled out his laptop. He found Dean on a few social media sites, sending him requests. He checked a few notifications-Roman and Becky had both tagged him in a few things, and Roman had sent him some information on a project they had in science class. He chatted with Roman for a bit, telling him about the day he’d had. Roman was furious, of course, but he also asked about Dean, and if he was safe. 

‘wait so dean is okay? brock didn’t hurt him?

‘he’s fine, roman. dean took him out clean.’

‘thank fucking god, i would’ve killed that motherfucker if he’d hurt dean. I mean, i would’ve done the same for you, it’s just...’

‘you have feelings for dean, and that’s different.’

Roman didn’t respond for a minute, and Finn looked at the messenger box, an eyebrow raised. 

‘it’s pretty obvious, huh?’

‘oh yes it is, roman, it very much is’

He swore he could hear Roman laughing through the computer.

‘well….can you blame me?’

‘not at all.’

Finn’s phone rang, and he said good night to Roman before answering. 

“Hello, darling. Is Dean alright?”

“Yeah, just…”

Seth sighed, and Finn frowned. 

“He’s okay, he’s-he’s not even worried, but-Christ, that scared me.”

“I know, darling. Out of anyone, though….I think Dean will be fine.”

“I-I know, I just. You know I’ve been worried about Brock ever since-I don’t want him to hurt anyone else.”

Finn instinctively reached down and rubbed his abdomen. 

“It’ll be okay. We’ll be away from him after this year. We’ll never have to see him again, and you and I will be going to college, living together, loving each other even more than we do already.”

“I don’t even know how that’s possible, prince. Every atom of my fucking body is overflowing with love for you.”

Finn blushed and hid his face in the pillow. Seth was so romantic! 

“Aw, hey, are you hiding from me?”

“No! Just….that was very sweet. I feel the same way for you, love.”

Finn yawned. 

“You tired?”

Finn nodded, turning onto his side and closing his eyes.

“Stay on the line with me?”

“Of course, prince.”


	4. With A Little Help From My Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seth has a pretty damn good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is a mention of suicidal ideation in the past, but there's nothing current. it's kind of a weak chapter, but i needed a seth chapter. and i don't hate it, it's just not as strong as it could be.

 

Seth blinked his eyes open, looking around his room. The first hints of sun were coming through the large windows, and his pillow still smelled like Finn from when he stayed over.

So far, so good.

Seth woke up most mornings remembering the period of time where he was sure that he wouldn’t have any more mornings, good or bad. It was usually on his mind during his ten-minute meditation in the morning, before he took his pills and got ready for school. It helped keep him balanced, and motivated him for the new day ahead. He’d been there, done that with wanting to die, and he was doing better now. 

He opened the curtains, and started on his morning stretched. Seth liked to stay limber throughout the day, and it helped for his ballet classes and the track and field activities he had. Once he was done, he sat down for his meditation. Breathing in, breathing out, thinking about things and letting his mind do as it would. He followed it up with taking the four pills he had to take, and showering. He didn’t like to shower every day, but it was Friday, which meant it was shower day. He hated straightening his hair more, but it was the only way to get it under control. Seth got dressed and looked himself over in the mirror, before going downstairs. 

Hunter and Shawn were still there, like they were on most Fridays. Shawn was reading the paper and drinking coffee, and he happily returned the hug Seth gave him. 

Seth absolutely adored his uncle. Shawn wasn’t related by blood, but damned if he wasn’t family. Either way, he was pretty much married to Seth’s actual uncle, so it was the same thing. Hunter hugged Seth, too, and he ruffled Seth’s hair. 

“Hey! It took ten minutes to get it all flat, don’t mess it up!”

Hunter laughed and set a plate full of food down in front of Seth. 

“You sound like Shawn.”

“Hey, my hair is glorious. After twenty five years, you should know that some of us take pride in our beautiful manes.”

Seth laughed around a mouthful of oatmeal. Shawn and Hunter were such inspirations to him. They were both such good men, and openly and unashamedly queer. They had power in the town and used it for good, and Seth’s parents’ company-that Hunter essentially ran-was the biggest employer in town, but they paid fair wages and offered benefits most companies didn’t. Seth would be proud to work there one day. 

But not anytime soon.

He finished his breakfast and said goodbye to his uncles, kissing both of them on the cheek before grabbing his keys and heading to Roman’s house. He loved driving to school with his best friend. It was one of his favorite parts of the day, and Roman was one of his favorite people. They’d known each other since birth; Roman’s mom had worked for Seth’s parents, and she was close to Hunter, so it was natural for the two to basically be raised together-though Roman was a few months older. And they clicked unbelievably well. He loved Roman like a brother, and always would. 

Seth put his car in park, frowning. Roman almost always sat on the porch in the mornings, and was ready on time. Seth turned his music down and heard yelling. 

That wasn’t good. 

Roman stormed out of the house, stomping up to the car, and making sure not to slam the door. Seth loved that about Roman, even when he was mad, he was in control of himself. Roman breathed heavily through his nose and didn’t speak. His eyes were wet and Seth frowned. 

“Hey, what’s going on? Roro?”

Roman sniffled a little, and brought his hand down on his thigh. 

“Goddamn fucking bastard!”

“Oh. Your stepdad?”

“God, every fucking morning, every fucking day, he just-he doesn’t fucking stop.”

Seth reached over and pulled Roman close, pressing their foreheads together. 

“Hey, just a little while longer, okay? Just a little bit more, and then you’ll be away from him, you’re gonna get eight thousand kickass scholarships and you’re gonna go to college and be fucking amazing, like you have been your whole life. He isn’t shit, okay? He ain’t shit.”

Roman huffed out a laugh and sniffed again, bringing a hand up to cup the back of Seth’s head. It was a gesture they’d been doing for years, their own special brand of affection. 

“Fuck, I know, I just-he’s such an ass to me. But only me.”

“That’s cause he’s a shithead.”

Roman finally smiled, and Seth started the car. 

“I know. I just...I guess I’m frustrated. I don’t know. There’s a lot going on.”

“Cause of the scholarship thing?”

Roman nodded, and Seth sighed. Roman was almost guaranteed to get a scholarship to the most prestigious college in the state, for football. He always had great grades, almost perfect attendance, did a crazy amount of volunteer work, and was a superstar on the field. There were only three slots, but Roman’s family were historically always chosen for at least one. More than one year, two of them were. 

The drive to school was much calmer after that, and Seth grinned as they parked in the usual spot. Dean wasn’t there yet, but he would be soon.

“So….you and Dean are hanging out a lot….”

Roman groaned, hiding his face in his hands. 

“Ugh, shut up, dickhead.”

“You shut up, asshole.”

Roman grinned, and Seth could see the slight tint of a blush on his tan skin.

“Come on, dude. You  _ have _ to ask him out at one point.”

“I know, I just...he’s so fucking cool, Seth. Have you seen his room? He’s a fucking songwriter. He’s in a BAND, Seth! And he drives a fucking motorcycle and wears boots and God, he is literally my dream man.”

Seth laughed at the description of his friend. Dean was pretty damn awesome, and he could be the poster boy for Bad Boy Cool. Seth had noted that when they ended up being roommates at camp, and he and Dean had bonded almost immediately. Something in their attitudes just clicked. Of course, their energy put together tended to end in people being pranked, but that wasn’t a negative in Seth’s mind. 

“Okay, so like….ask him out? You know he’ll say yes. Literally who would say no to you.”

“Plenty of people. And-I don’t know, I don’t wanna make it weird, you know? Like if he says no, will he even wanna be my friend anymore?”

“I can guarantee you that he will. Dean isn’t that kind of person.”

Roman perked up at the sound of a motorcycle, and they finally got out of the car. 

“Speak of the devil.”

Dean pulled up next to the car, taking his helmet off and shaking his messy hair. Between that action, the leather jacket, tight jeans, and big leather boots, even Seth was a little attracted to him right then. And he wasn’t all that into bad boys. 

No, he liked adorable sweet Irish guys with big, clear eyes and brilliant smiles. Roman and Dean talked while Seth waited for Finn, finally spotting him and running up to him. He picked Finn up and spun him around, kissing all over his boyfriend’s face. Finn laughed and Seth felt his soul brighten up. 

Finn….was his entire world, if he was being honest. Asking Finn out had been the first big thing Seth did after he was out of his suicidal state, and it had been the best decision of his life. He’d courted the Irishman properly, and he could not be more in love. Seth held Finn’s hand tight as they made their way back to Roman and Dean, who were standing very close, looking at something on Roman’s phone.

“Good morning, love.”

“Good morning, my beautiful, wonderful prince.”

Finn blushed, and Seth just had to kiss him on the cheek. Hunter and Shawn taught him to never be afraid to show love, and he made damn sure to live by that, no matter what some jackasses would think. 

Dean smiled when they approached and fist-bumped Finn. 

“Hey dude. Ready for this weekend?”   
“Absolutely.”

Seth still didn’t know what those two were up to, but he trusted them both to not get into anything dangerous. Well, Dean might, but Dean could protect himself. They all walked into school together, Romand and Dean ahead of Finn and Seth. Seth really was hoping those two would just get together soon. He took his seat next to Finn in their first hour, and they talked amongst themselves until Mr. Foley arrived.

\---

Seth let his head rest on the tabletop, sighing. It was becoming a very long day. 

“Aw, darling, it’ll be alright.”

Finn sat next to him, pulling out his lunch and encouraging Seth to do the same. Roman and Dean sat across from them, and Seth did notice that Roman had brought food for Dean. He filed that away for later and started sullenly eating his lunch.

“I just don’t wanna fucking work with them.”

“Dude, it’s shit that you got stuck with both of them.”

Seth had gotten placed in a project in science with both Shane and Stephanie McMahon. Or the Hell Twins, as Seth had dubbed them. Dean seemed upset, too, even though he and Roman and Charlotte Flair were a group, which was...infinitely better. 

Seth loved the Flair family. Charlotte’s father was one of Hunter’s best friends in the entire world, and he’d known Charlotte forever, and the Flairs were just good people. The McMahons had not made such a good impression. 

In part because they’d repeatedly tried to buy Seth’s family’s company, and tried again every few years. His parents would never sell it, and neither would Hunter, and Seth thanked God for it. He didn’t even want to think about what the McMahons would turn their company into. He’d never gotten along with Shane or Stephanie, and he’d been so fucking excited when Dean had offered to trash Shane’s car at camp. He glanced across the table to Dean, who was still grumpy, but clearly enjoying his food. Dean didn’t like the McMahons because they were the opposite side of Seth’s coin; they were rich, but unlike the Rollins family, they were….kinda assholes about it. 

Not that Seth’s family was perfect, but they were at least good. 

“Hey, man, if you want, I can fuck up his stupid car again.”

Seth laughed, and Roman looked at Dean with the fondest look on his face. Finn flicked Dean on the hand. 

“Don’t say that where they can hear you!”

Dean grinned, eyes mischievous under his bangs. 

\---

“Rollins! Keep your eyes on the track!”

Seth shook his head and kept up on his laps. He’d spotted Finn practicing tennis and he couldn’t be blamed for getting a little distracted. But he didn’t want to piss off Miss Stratus. She was small, but scary as hell. He needed to run more, anyway. Competition would start soon, and he needed to be in top shape for all his events. 

He nodded at Roman as he passed the football field. They each had practice after school, so did Finn, and Dean was sitting in the bleachers with Mr. Hardy, each of them lazily strumming guitars. 

His day had at least gotten better. Sure, he had to work with the Hell Twins, but he also was going to hang out with his friends after practice, and that always brightened his day. 

He finished practice first, Finn shortly after, and they joined Dean and Mr. Hardy on the bleachers, waiting for Roman. Seth noticed Mr. Hardy looking down at the field, a worried expression on his face.

“Uh...Mister Hardy? Is everything okay?”

Jeff blinked-he probably had zoned out some-and looked at Seth. He sighed and shrugged. 

“Yeah, Seth, I’m just worried about Roman. Dwayne has been pushing him more than anyone else.”

Seth watched as Roman went through the same drill over and over and over, until his cousin finally told him he was done. Roman looked exhausted as he came up the bleachers, laying down on the one in front of Dean and their teacher. Finn sat next to his head, helping him towel off some sweat and take a drink of water. 

“God, my whole fucking body hurts.”

Finn let Roman rest his head on Finn’s lap, and Mr. Hardy set his guitar to the side, leaning forward. 

“Hey, I can talk to him-”

“No thank you, Mister Hardy. I-I’ll be fine, just gotta get through this damn season.”

Mr. Hardy reached down and patted Roman on the arm, taking both guitars with him as he left. Dean and Seth both shifted closer, and Finn ran his hands through Roman’s hair, trying to soothe him. 

After about twenty minutes of them all resting-except for Dean, though he was particularly laid back at the moment-they gathered up their things and headed to the car. Dean handed an extra helmet to Finn and Seth and Roman got into the car. The motorcycle followed them to the restaurant that they usually stopped by, and then to the house. Roman was mostly quiet the entire ride, and Seth let him set the music and the volume. He was in a ska mood, apparently, which meant he probably was irritated and wanted to get out of that mood.

Hunter and Shawn’s cars were both gone, and Seth unlocked the front door for his friends, walking in with Finn. They all found places to lay down in Seth’s room, Roman taking up the entire couch-at least at first, until Dean tapped his legs. Roman lifted his limbs and set them in Dean’s lap, and Finn sat with Seth on the bed. They shared a Look after glancing at the two on the couch. 

“I have such a fuckin’ headache.”

“I’d offer you some pot, but I haven’t found a dealer yet.”

Dean’s statement got a laugh out of Seth and Roman, and Finn had an adorably scandalized look on his face. Seth loved it. His boyfriend was so innocent. Of course, Seth hadn’t tried weed until he met Dean, who’d snuck some into camp. He leaned in and kissed Finn on his cheek, loving the pink tint that formed in response. 

Finn and Seth ended up playing a video game, sitting on the floor in front of the tv, while Roman and Dean quietly talked. Seth heard the door open downstairs and he told his friends to wait up here. 

It was Shawn-Hunter was probably working late, like most Fridays-and Seth ran up to Shawn, hugging him tight.

“Hi!”

“Hey there, Seth. How was school?”

Seth followed Shawn around as he hung up his jacket and took his shoes off. 

“It was okay. I did good at practice, but I have to work with fucking Shane and Stephanie in science class.”

Shawn looked genuinely sad for him. 

“I’m sorry, Seth. Maybe they won’t be too bad this time around.”

Shawn’s easy Texas accent was always soothing, and Seth continued following Shawn around as he went up to his and Hunter’s room to change. Seth hopped up onto their bed and kicked his feet. 

“Roman and Dean and Finn are over, though. Can they stay the night?”

“Of course. Need me to go to the store?”

“Yes, please.”

“Write up a list.”

Seth grinned and kissed Shawn on the cheek before heading back to his own room. It was such a normal routine, Shawn coming home first, Seth telling him about his day, Shawn taking a shower and waiting for Hunter to come home. Seth was all smiles as he entered his room. 

“Shawn said you guys can all stay the night. He’s gonna go to the store, too, so let’s get a list together.”

They all suggested things-Roman asking for his standard post-practice chocolate and sweets-and Seth wrote it down, running out and putting the list with Shawn’s wallet. Dean stood in the hallway, on the phone with his mom. He smiled at Dean, and Dean nodded at him. He wished Dean would smile more, he had such a handsome smile. 

Roman was still laying on the couch, but he was watching Finn play the game in single-player mode. Seth sat back down next to Finn, leaning back on his hands. 

“Hey, do you guys need to get anything from your houses?”

Finn paused the game and nodded. Roman shrugged.

“Don’t really want to, but I could use a change of clothes.”

Dean walked in, hands in his pockets. 

“Mom said it was cool if I could stay. What’s going on?”

“Do you need to get anything from home?”

Dean blinked. 

“Nah, I was just gonna sleep in this.”

Seth grinned. Sleeping fully dressed was a very Dean Ambrose thing to do. He’d done it every night at camp, boots included. All of them got up, Roman letting out an almost obscene sound when he stretched. They piled into the extra car-Seth would’ve loved to take his car, but four people were a bit much for it-and drove to Finn’s house first. It was closest, and they waited in the circle drive until Finn came back. Roman’s house was next, and he took a deep breath, hesitating with his hand on the door handle. Seth frowned and put the car in park. 

“C’mon. I’ll go with you.”

Roman looked back at him, giving a thankful nod, and they got out of the car. Everyone seemed to be home, which meant Roman’s step-father was home. Seth didn’t want his friend to deal with that. Even if his stepdad was in a good mood towards everyone else, he never seemed to be when it came to Roman. Seth squeezed Roman’s hand right before he opened the door. 

“Hey! I’m home! I’m not staying, I’m spending the night at Seth’s!”

Roman’s loud, booming voice wasn’t a surprise. He knew they tended to yell in the house, and they didn’t really have a choice, between Nia’s singing practice and the twins being young teenage boys. Roman’s mom poked her head out of the kitchen, and smiled at the boys.

“Hello, honey. Hello, Seth. Have a good time!”

Roman quickly hugged his mom and kissed her on the cheek, and they managed to get everything he needed without incident. Roman still exhaled heavily once he was back in the backseat with Dean. Seth watched in the rearview mirror as Dean leaned in, quietly saying something to Roman that made Roman relax. They did something with their hands, and Seth grinned. Soon. They would get together soon. 

Dean’s house was last, and Dean asked them all to wait as he went inside. Seth knew his friend was a little embarrassed of his house, but he really had no reason to be. Dean came back a few minutes later with a plastic bag with a change of clothes. Seth made a mental note to get him an extra bag. 

He knew Dean wouldn’t want to take it, because Dean was weird about gifts, but he’d still offer.

The drive back was light-hearted, Roman having cheered up once Seth made them all sing along to something on the radio. 

“Hey, so where do you two wanna sleep tonight? We have two guest rooms, but you could always share, or you could just sleep in my room.”

Dean leaned forward. 

“You and Finn sleeping in the same bed?”

“Of course.”

“Roman, I don’t know about you, but I think I’m gonna go ahead and pick a guest room. Not that I don’t love you guys, and not that you aren’t super hot, but uh. Don’t wanna be a voyeur.”

Finn blushed, reaching back and smacking Dean’s arm. He was laughing, though, they all were. Seth even noticed that Roman was almost fully relaxed, and he was always anxious and hyper-vigilant in cars. 

Seth turned the radio up, singing along off-key to the song on the radio, until Dean joined in, then Finn, and Roman.


	5. Imagine The Theme Song To The Show "Cops"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finn and dean have a night out, and finn tries out a new look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this one is wayyyyyy shorter than usual, but i NEEDED to write it, in part because i wanted to show dean and finn hanging out, and in part because the next chapter is like, one of the ones i've been WAITING for.

Finn stood with Seth on the porch, arms wrapped around him, kissing him. He knew Dean was waiting on him, but he couldn’t help himself when it came to Seth. His boyfriend finally pulled away, a grin on his face, and he pecked Finn again. They both looked to the driveway, where Dean was sitting on the hood of Hunter’s car-possibly the only person who’d ever been allowed to do so-smoking a cigarette, while Roman tried to frown at him.

It seemed that Roman couldn’t even be mad at Dean for smoking, and Roman hated smoking. 

Finn and Seth shared a look, as they often did. They didn’t always need words, and Finn kissed Seth once more before they walked over to the driveway. Dean spit on the ground and put out his cigarette in it, handing Finn the spare helmet. 

“You ready?”

Finn nodded, climbing onto the bike after Dean had, both of them waving goodbye to Roman and Seth. Dean was taking him to a thrift store and an army surplus store and a biker shop, and Finn had not previously known that at least two of those even existed in the town. They dropped their things off at Dean’s house, first. 

“Hey, uh-sorry about the mess, and...the...smallness, I guess.”

Finn reached out, touching Dean’s arm gently. 

“You know I won’t mind.”

Dean blushed and quickly entered the house. 

“Mom?”

“Under the sink!”

Dean and Finn watched as Dean’s mother came out from under the sink, wiping her hands on her jeans. She smiled, and Finn could see where Dean’s looks came from. 

“Hi! I would shake your hand, but-”

She gestured with her hands and shrugged.

“It’s fine, Miss Ambrose. It’s very nice to meet you, and may I say, you are absolutely lovely.”

She laughed and leaned on the counter.

“I like this kid. What’s going on? You guys still going to the show tonight?”

Dean nodded and offered Finn something to drink. 

“We’re gonna go a few places first. Can we use the truck?”

“Of course. Leave your keys here in case I need a ride.”

“Cool.”

Finn smiled. They’d figured out their plan yesterday: Finn would go home after shopping with Dean, and around eleven, once Finn’s parents were asleep, Dean would come sneak him out, they’d go to the show, then back to Finn’s house before they woke up. Finn was so, so excited. He’d never snuck out of the house before, and he was excited to have Dean style him for the day. 

They said goodbye to Dean’s mother, right as she was getting back under the sink, and they got into the truck; it was Lita’s car, a big, loud red thing from twenty years ago. Finn insisted on paying for gas, for both the truck and Dean’s bike, and Dean at least didn’t fight that. They went to a thrift store, first, and Finn was a little awestruck. 

He’d never been to one, his parents insisted he had brand new, high quality clothing, but Finn liked the selection here. And there was so much to alter. Dean had explained that a lot of his mom’s wardrobe, which was admittedly awesome, had come from thrift stores and she’d just altered it to her liking. 

Finn bought at least a quarter of the men’s sweaters. He was a sweater guy.

Dean had him buy jeans, too, and a few shirts. Dean was going to be coming to Finn’s house after this for a little while anyway, and Finn was happy to let him do any alterations that he thought would fit. The army surplus store was next, and Finn came out of that with a comfortable new pair of boots-not like Dean’s, they were tactical boots with bright purple laces-and a knife. 

That was Dean’s suggestion.

The biker store was final, because Dean had insisted that there was one thing that Finn needed more than anything: a good, long-lasting leather jacket. Not just for the show, but for general, practical wear, too. Finn looked around at all the different coats. None of them really caught his eye, the cut didn’t seem right. 

“Hey! What about this one?”

Dean held one up, and Finn’s eyes widened. He grabbed it and pulled it on, and it was a little tight-the man at the counter explained that that was normal-but it was  _ perfect _ . Finn looked at himself in the mirror, and he popped the collar up just a bit, and he saw Dean grin behind him.

“That’s perfect, man. That’s perfect.”

He bought it, and wanted to wear it home, but he didn’t really want his parents to see any of what he’d bought. Not yet, at least. Dean stopped by a drugstore on the way to Finn’s house, and once they were home and pulling out all of the clothes, Dean showed him what he bought. 

“Eyeliner?”

“Let me show you how to put it on.”

Finn watched closely as Dean gently dragged the pencil along his waterline, until there was a deep black line, smudging some around on his eyelids. He did Finn’s, too, and Finn had to admit, it looked good on him. It brought out his eyes a bit, even. He and Dean worked together on the clothing, cutting and tearing until they were happy. 

Finn gave Dean money for gas as he walked Dean to his car. It was already late in the afternoon by that point, and Finn hugged Dean before he left. He really was happy that they’d become closer. Finn washed all of his new clothes, and took a shower, a nice, long one, and worried over a perfume for about an hour. 

Then he just had to wait. 

\---

Finn sent the text, blushing at some of the things Seth was saying-his boyfriend certainly didn’t have much shame-and heard a motorcycle in the neighborhood. He made sure his bedroom door was locked and his window wasn’t, and climbed out quietly. He checked his pockets for his wallet and keys, and the knife in his back pocket, and waited until he saw Dean walking up to his house. 

“Where’s the-”

“I parked a street away. Didn’t wanna wake anyone here up.”

Finn grinned and Dean grabbed his hand and led the way, both of them getting their helmets on and heading on their way. It was a bit of a drive to the barn, though Dean didn’t take the highway. Finn just held onto him, watching the world pass by them. Soon, the suburbs turned to open fields, and they came to a large gathering of vehicles. Dean weaved between them, finding a closer place to park. 

Finn almost jumped off of the bike. He was bouncing with excitement, and he knew he and Dean looked  _ good _ . Dean was in his usual tank top, jacket, tight jeans, and boots, his hair still messy, but he had dark eye makeup on that gave his face an intensity is usually lacked. Finn was wearing torn up jeans, his new boots and jacket, a shirt they’d cropped, and he’d put on the eyeliner just like Dean had showed him. 

He followed Dean into the barn, looking around. He knew he must look very young, gazing around the barn in wonder as he was. But everyone had a first. Dean led him into the crowd of people, and they milled about, waiting for the band to come out. Finn ended up talking to Dean and a nice young person, whose name he didn’t catch. Their hair was in six-inch purple spikes, and they were covered in tattoos. At one point, two young women joined the conversation, asking Finn where he got his shirt. 

It was a lovely atmosphere.

The band came onto the small, makeshift stage, and Dean told Finn to cover his ears at first. And thank God he did, it was the loudest thing Finn had ever heard. But he soon uncovered his ears and got into it. It wasn’t music he’d ever listened to before, and he couldn’t really understand what was being said, but he liked that he could feel the vibrations of the instruments all through his body, and he let himself zone out, moving to the music with everyone else. At one point, Dean nudged him and pointed towards what Dean had explained earlier was a ‘mosh pit’; Finn declined, and Dean shrugged, barreling his way forward to get in the midst of it. Finn managed to keep an eye on him, and he seemed to be having the time of his life, pushing and shoving and Finn is mostly sure that Dean headbutted someone at least once. 

Finn still felt excited, all throughout his body, little electric shocks whenever it occurred to him what he was doing, where he was, and he found himself moving forward. Might as well have the full experience.

The pit was….chaos incarnate, if Finn had to describe it, but it wasn’t dangerous. Everyone there seemed to just have an infinite amount of physical energy and needed to release it. Finn let his excitement take over and followed what everyone was doing-apart from the headbutting, that seemed to really be Dean’s specialty. Finn reeled back when he got elbowed in the face, but he wasn’t mad. He couldn’t even really feel it, he just grinned and kept going.

By the time the band was done, he was exhausted. His body was already aching, and his cheeks hurt from smiling. He found Dean in the crowd; Dean had somehow lost his shirt, but not his jacket, and was breathing heavily, grinning like a madman. 

“That...was amazing. I think I’m deaf.”

“That’s normal.”

They found their way to the bike, stumbling a little. Finn reached out and grabbed Dean’s hand, and they held each other’s hand until they found the motorcycle. They drove fast, Dean working out the last bit of energy he had. 

They didn’t immediately go back to Finn’s house. They were both hungry, and they decided to go to the same diner Dean had taken Finn to that first day they hung out. They sat in the same booth and ordered, both still grinning and lounging on the seats. 

“That was absolutely amazing, I don’t think I’ve ever had that much fun. Do you go to things like that often?”

Dean shrugged. 

“If they’re free, yeah. A lot of small bands don’t bother to charge, but they sell shit at the show. I try to buy shirts or a cd or something.”

“Do you know if they’re anymore going on soon?”

Dean laughed. 

“Got you hooked, huh?”

Finn nodded. He was on a bit of an adrenaline high, and he ate quickly and messily. He hadn’t realized how hungry he’d been, but then again...he guessed he hadn’t really eaten at all that day. 

Oh well. 

Once their food was paid for, Dean drove them to the street next to Finn’s, and walked him home, helping him back through his window. Finn leaned out, smiling at Dean again. 

“Hey, can I ask your opinion on something?”

Dean nodded, leaning on the side of the house.

“Uh...this might sound silly, but….on Monday, do you think you could give me a ride to school? I have an idea that I think Seth will like, but…”

“No problem.”

Finn gestured for Dean to come forward, and once he was close enough, he hugged him tight, kissing him on the cheek. 

“Thank you for tonight, and today, and everything. I’ve never had a night like this.”

Dean hesitated, but he hugged Finn back. 

“I had a good time, too, Finn. I like hanging out with you. I’m happy we’re friends.”

Finn pulled away. 

“I’m happy we’re friends, too. Will you text me when you get home? I just wanna know that you got there safe.”

Dean nodded, waving before walking through the dark, back to his bike. Finn closed and locked his window, dropping onto his bed, still smiling, even when he fell asleep.

\---

Finn waited on his porch, sitting on the railing and kicking his feet. It was only just now getting chillier in the mornings and nights, and he pulled his new jacket tighter around himself. It was warm, and thick, and he felt very comfortable in it. His new boots were, too, and they were even waterproof. The folks at the army surplus store really knew their stuff. 

Finn stood at the sound of Dean’s motorcycle, running to the driveway and grabbing the extra helmet. The drive to school didn’t take that long, Finn didn’t live too far away, and he felt his heart beat a little faster. They pulled into the parking lot, and Finn spotted Roman and Seth in matching hoodies. Between the similar clothing and dark features, they looked like brothers.

They parked next to Seth’s car, and through the helmet, Finn could see Seth’s adorably confused face. He stood, and took a deep breath, and faced Seth, pulling the helmet off.

Seth and Roman’s eyes both went wide, and Seth’s lips parted in surprise.

Finn had worn his new jacket and boots, and the tightest pair of dark jeans he’d bought, with a button-down shirt with a white tank top underneath. He’d lined his eyes in black, too, and he bit his lip as Seth looked him over. The shocked, but heated look on Seth’s face sent warmth through Finn’s body.

“Well?”

Seth shook his head and his lips slowly pulled into a smile. He reached forward and traced his fingers along Finn’s sleeve.

“W-wow, Finn….wow.”

Finn blushed. 

“I mean….I never was really into the bad boy thing-no offense, Dean-but...I mean...wow. I wanna take a picture of you on the hood of my car.”

Finn laughed and wrapped his arms around Seth, backing him up until he was against the car, and he leaned in, kissing Seth deeply on the lips. Seth moaned and Finn felt him put his hands on Finn’s chest, fisting in his shirt. Finn pulled away, licking his lips. Seth’s eyes were still closed and his eyebrows were raised. 

“I….I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but holy shit, I’m happy it did.”

“Well….Dean was a big part of it. He snuck me out of my house and we went to this wonderful little show in a barn outside of town. I even got in the mosh pit.”

“YOU DID WHAT?”

Finn couldn’t help but laugh at his boyfriend’s surprise. He looked to Dean, who shrugged. Roman was looking at Dean with the same soft, fond look he usually did, and Finn turned back to Seth. 

“It was fun. I’ve never done anything like that.”

“I’m pretty shocked, too, man. Never thought you were the type for that.”

Finn kept his arm around Seth’s waist, leaning in and kissing his cheek. 

“What can I say? The Ambrose Influence is irresistible.”

Roman looked at Dean, soft and fond again, and smiled.

“Yeah, it really is.”

Dean blushed and started urging them all inside the school. Finn held Seth back a moment, leaning in again and kissing him deeply, biting at his lip as he pulled away. 

“Holy shit, Finn, you’re fucking killing me right now. Can we just skip today and spend it in my backseat?”

Finn laughed and nuzzled at Seth’s neck. 

“We have an important test today, so no. But….I do have a few others things I bought that I’d like to show you later.”

Seth groaned and kissed Finn, until they managed to pull away from each other to go inside. Finn was looking forward to having Seth over that night. He’d give him a good show. 


	6. Just A Really, Really Good Weekend.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dean's birthday happens.

 

Dean poked at the food in front of him, leaning his cheek on his hand. He sighed. 

“Hey, is...is the food okay?”

He looked at Roman. Roman looked worried, and maybe a little hurt. Dean shook his head, and sighed again.

“No, yeah, it’s great. I just…”

“Dean?”

Dean sighed-he hated how much he sighed sometimes-and shrugged, setting his fork down. It really was good food. 

“My birthday is this weekend.”

“Yeah, I know. What’s…is that bad?”

“It’s never been good.”

He could  _ feel _ Roman frowning, because it was very easy for him to know what Roman was feeling. 

“Well….maybe I can help make it better.”

Dean blushed. Hearing Roman’s deep voice saying that was just. A Lot. He ducked his head down, trying to hide his face in his hair. 

“I mean. We don’t have any plans, you know? Just a nice dinner and some cake. But. If you wanna come over, I mean. You can, I’d like-I’d like that.”

Roman leaned a little closer to him and Dean held his breath.

“I look forward to it.”

Seth and Finn sat across from them, finally, and Dean exhaled. He really liked when Roman was so close like that. Seth nudged his leg under the table.

“So, what’re we doing for your birthday?”

Dean groaned, and tensed when he felt one of Roman’s large hands on his back. 

“I don’t know. I don’t really want to do anything. I hate my birthday.”

“Why? No one should hate their birthday.”

Dean glanced at Finn. He knew Finn didn’t know anything about Dean’s past experiences, and he was just such a nice guy, Dean couldn’t be irritated at him. 

“It’s not anyone’s fault, I just...don’t like it. I haven’t had a good birthday in-ever. I’ve never had one. My mom always tries, but something has always gone wrong. I love her for trying, but there’s no point.”

Seth gasped like he’d been shot. 

“You are  _ my _ friend now, there is absolutely a point. I don’t know what we’re doing, but I am gonna make sure you have a fucking amazing birthday, and I’m gonna keep making sure every damn year.”

“I’d like to help, too. I’d hate to see you sad on such an important occasion.”

Dean looked to Roman again, and Roman smiled his absolutely stunning smile. 

“You know I just want you to be happy, man.”

Dean brightened up a little, eating the rest of his food with enthusiasm.

\---

Dean smiled and sang along with his mom, seated in the front of the truck. He loved driving around with her, he always had. It was some kind of parent-teacher night at school, and Dean was mostly just looking forward to having his mom meet Mr. Hardy. She was a fan of his, too, and Dean wanted to see if they’d get along. 

They finally got to the school, at the same time that Seth and his uncles did.

“Mom, there’s Seth, park there.”

Lita parked her truck in the space next to Hunter’s Bentley, and Dean climbed out of the truck. Hunter and Shawn greeted him and Lita, and Dean was happy to see his mom get a hug from both of the men. She had talked about how much she liked working for Hunter, and the two really seemed to get along. Dean went over to Seth and Seth wrapped an arm around his shoulders. 

“You ready for tomorrow?”

Dean shrugged, blushing and smiling a little. Seth had insisted that, the day before Dean’s birthday, he, Dean, Roman, and Finn all went out for brunch and to the zoo, as Seth’s treat. And Seth wanted to celebrate properly, and was willing to host the party, and Dean just...he was so anxious and worried, but Seth was so fucking enthusiastic, and Dean didn’t want to let his friends down. They walked into the school together, Hunter, Shawn, and Lita behind them. It was more of an open house, than anything, for the parents to come and mingle with each other and the teachers. Dean spotted Roman talking to Charlotte, and Seth led them over to them. 

Charlotte and Roman made an impressive pair. Dean knew the two had been a couple, and they still flirted like crazy. He would’ve felt insecure if it hadn’t been for the fact that Charlotte just so passionately only liked women. Still, watching the two of them was a bit much for Dean. He was just trying to live, but it was hard when you were bisexual and surrounded by absolutely stunning people. Charlotte smiled at him, flipping her long, blond hair over one shoulder.

“Hello, Dean. I’m looking forward to Sunday.”

Dean nodded. He’d let Seth handle the invitations. It may have seemed odd, but he knew Seth had good taste, and he kept it to a handful of people. Though the parents would probably end up coming, too, because most of them were friends. 

Roman nudged Dean with his elbow and smiled at him, sticking his tongue out. Dean reciprocated and they both grinned. 

“Dean, honey? Come here for a minute.”

Dean went to his mom and held out his arm for her to take. They strolled along the hallways, Dean pointing out the various places he had to go. They stopped to talk to a few of his teachers, before Dean heard the gentle sounds of a guitar strumming. He practically bounced on his heels and led his mom to the electives hallway. Mr. Hardy was sitting in a chair, lazily playing a guitar. Dean waved at him, knowing he had an embarrassing enthusiasm about him. 

“Mr. Hardy!”

Mr. Hardy smiled at them, setting the guitar against the wall and standing. He held his hand out to Lita, and Dean stepped away, watching his mom’s eyes go wide.

“Wow. Hi.”

“Hi, I’m Jeff Hardy, I teach your son’s-well, I don’t really teach Dean anything. He’s much, much farther ahead than any student I’ve ever had.”

“He’s been playing since he was a kid. He’s also the bass player for our band, and I’m really proud of him.”

Mr. Hardy smiled and set a hand on Dean’s shoulder.    
“You’re certainly something, kid. I’m sorry, Miss, I didn’t catch your name.”

“Lita Ambrose. It’s nice to meet you. I...am kind of a big fan. Deletion is one of my favorite bands.”

Jeff smiled, a pink tint coming to his cheeks. Dean watched happily. He was hoping they’d get along. 

“I, uh...actually had a huge crush on your brother.”

“Oh my gosh, really? You know he lives in town, right? He’s actually having a party soon, if you wanna come meet him.”

Lita’s jaw dropped and Dean almost wanted to yell. This was  _ awesome _ .

“Hey! Dean!”

Dean looked over at where Roman’s deep, booming voice was coming from. Roman came towards them, greeting Mr. Hardy and Lita warmly before turning to Dean. 

“Uh...can I talk to you for a second?”

Dean followed Roman to the secluded little stairwell that led to the choir room. They stopped in the stairwell and Roman seemed nervous. It was a cute look on him. Roman bit his lips and gestured at the ground.

“Let’s-uh, let’s sit down.”

Dean sat on the step, Roman sitting next to him, their knees bumping together. 

“I know...I know you don’t like your birthday, and you probably don’t like gifts, but….I mean-if you don’t want it, you don’t have to take it, but I wanted to give it to you-I wanted it to just be the two of us. Uh. I-do you remember when we went to the mall with Seth last week cause he had to get those really specific skinny jeans?”

Dean snorted and laughed, he absolutely remembered that. Seth was ridiculous. 

“I-well, when we were there, I thought-I thought I saw you looking at this, and-I had some money, and….here.”

Roman pulled out a black box with a red ribbon tied around it, and handed it to Dean. He ducked his head down, brushing his long hair behind his ear. Dean untied the ribbon and opened the box.

“Oh, Roman-you didn’t have to-”

It was a watch, and probably costed more than all of Dean’s clothes combined. It was a gorgeous dark metal, with a deep blue face, the numbers in stark white. 

“I….there’s an inscription.”

Dean pulled the watch out to look at the back, and ran his fingers over the small words.

‘ _ Dean-I hope I know you for as long as watches keep time. With love, Roman _ ’

Dean wiped the back of his hand over his eyes. The gift itself was nice, but...that was..a hell of an inscription. He swallowed and read the words over and over, before looking at Roman. He was obviously a little embarrassed, and Dean, in the slew of emotions he was feeling, threw himself at Roman and wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tight. 

“Oh my God, Rome-that-I don’t know what to say-”

Roman hugged him back, large arms tight around his waist. They sat there in the stairwell, embracing for a while. Dean only pulled away to put the watch on his wrist. It really was nice, and he’d always remember Roman because of it. 

“I-thank you, Roman, I-fuck, dude, I’ve never gotten anything like this, I-”

“Like I said, I just...want you to be happy.”

Dean looked at Roman and licked his lips. 

“You make me happy, Roman.”

Roman looked at him, and he noticed Roman’s eyes glance down to Dean’s lips, and he slowly leaned forward-

“Hey, Dean, your mom is-oh my goodness-”

They jerked away from each other, both of them staring at Mr. Hardy with wide eyes. The teacher had covered his eyes, and was clearly trying to keep his lips from twitching upward in a grin.

“Uh-your mom was looking for you, Dean. Uh. I’m gonna go. Have fun.”

They heard Mr. Hardy laugh a ways down the hallway, and they both exhaled heavily. At least they knew he wouldn’t get them in trouble. Roman and Dean glanced at each other and laughed, and Roman stood, offering his hand to Dean. 

“C’mon. Let’s go find your mom. I’m sure my stepdad is flipping his shit somewhere. He was talking to Dwayne when I snuck off.”

Dean let Roman pull him up, and didn’t mind at all how close they got. 

“Shit, really? Do you need to get away for the night?”

Roman shook his head, walking with Dean back to where Lita was talking to a few other teachers. 

“Nah, I promised I would help Nia practice lines for the play. And I think the twins are gonna kidnap me for a video game tournament later.”

Dean smiled and bumped his shoulder against Roman’s. 

“Don’t stay up too late. We got brunch tomorrow.”

Roman made a face. 

“God, brunch is such a rich people thing.”

“It really is. But, hey, free food.”

They laughed, standing in front of each other for a moment. Dean bit his lips and hugged Roman again, knowing his mom would see the action and undoubtedly have questions later, but it was worth it. 

“Thank you, Roman. I love it. I really, really do.”

Roman hugged him tight before pulling away.

“I’m happy you do. Talk to you later?”

“Yeah. Good luck with tonight.”

Roman waved and left, and Dean turned to see his mom, standing alone now, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed and one eyebrow raised.

“Wow. You really are into him, huh?”

Dean blushed and rubbed the watch. 

“I can count the number of times I’ve seen you actually initiate a hug like that on my hands, songbird.”

“Yeah, but...I don’t know if he...you know.”

“What did he need?”

Dean pulled the watch off and handed it to her, and she looked it over, quietly whistling.

“He-it’s for my birthday. He said he wanted to give it to me in private.”

“Dean. It says ‘with love’. He wanted to give it to you in private. And from what Jeff said, it looked like he may have wanted to give you a little something else. I think you can safely assume that he likes you, songbird.”

Dean took the watch back and slipped it on-his wrist already felt naked and wrong without it-and shoved his hands in his pockets. 

“I don’t know, Mom.”

Lita hugged him close, her arm slung around his shoulder as they walked back to the main entrance. 

“One way or another, you have a good, good friend in him. I’m really happy to see that.”

She kissed him on his cheek and ruffled his hair, and Dean made a face at that, but felt happy. 

“C’mon. We’ll stop someplace and get something to eat.”

\---

Dean grunted, shifting his legs onto Roman’s lap. 

“Seth, I think Dean and Roman are going to become one in some sort of quantum accident.”

“Oh, hush, you guys’ll be fine!”

Roman was hunched a little, and held Dean’s legs. He rubbed his thumb over the seam on the side of Dean’s calf, and Dean tried not to think about that in conjunction with how close they were forced to be.

Seth had decided that they’d take his car, even though the backseat was barely big enough to fit Dean and Finn, let alone Dean and Roman. But, despite the squished-ness, they had had a great time at brunch, Dean getting his fill of every kind of breakfast food, and almost hurting himself laughing when Roman and Seth had matching milk mustaches (a wonderful selfie was taken). They were heading to the zoo, now, which….Dean was actually excited for. He liked zoos. He liked animals, and he liked getting pictures to draw later. And he suspected it would only be even more fun with his three friends. 

Seth finally parked and they got out, Dean and Roman having to de-tangle themselves from each other before getting out of the backseat. 

They walked behind Seth and Finn, and Seth pulled out a map of the zoo.

“So, I’m thinking the aviary first, but it’s up to you, Dean. What do you like?”

“I’m willing to let you lead.”

Dean was very aware of the fact that Seth liked to plan things and coordinate things and be the boss, while he was more happy to just lay back and let things happen. Seth led them around the zoo, to the aviary and then the reptile house. Roman stopped at one of the turtle enclosures and gasped. 

“Look! They’re so cute!”

Dean smiled at Roman. His eyes were wide and happy and Dean learned what one of Roman’s favorite animals were. He’d have to keep that in mind. Finn was having a grand time trying to get Seth to relax around the snakes; Finn loved them, but they scared the hell out of Seth. It was a fun dichotomy to witness. 

They saw the primates next, and Roman did a gorilla impression that had Seth and Dean in tears. Dean was a fan of the orangutan, personally, and he made sure to get plenty of pictures (and video of Roman’s impression; Dean briefly imagined Roman playing Tarzan). Then the big cats, which were apparently Roman’s actual favorite category. The jaguar in particular caught his attention, and Dean managed to get a picture of Roman looking into the enclosure, and he made sure to keep that one; it caught Roman in just the perfect lighting and he had a peaceful, happy expression. 

Dean blushed when Roman directed that expression at him. 

They had lost track of Finn and Seth, and Roman grabbed Dean’s hand, leading them to the next place on the trail. The aquarium was massive, and Seth and Finn were standing in front of it. They’d waited for them, and Dean didn’t bring attention to the fact that Roman hadn’t let go of his hand. He knew his own hands were a little damp with sweat, but it felt too good to stop. 

They walked, side by side, holding hands, through the aquarium, enjoying the dark lighting and cool air and the stunning fish. Dean liked fish. They were so weird and diverse, and aquariums were always so calm. He felt even calmer with his hand in Roman’s. 

They made their way to the hoofed animals, and Finn had to stop Seth from trying to capture a peacock that he saw walking around. Dean and Roman both rolled their eyes. Seth was one of the smartest people they knew, but sometimes he got very bad ideas. It was good that he had Finn with him to balance that out. They stood in front of the okapi enclosure, watching the strange looking animals, and Roman squeezed Dean’s hand. 

“You’re wearing the watch.”

“Of course I am.”

“So...you really do like it? And-you’re not mad I got it for you?”

Dean looked up at Roman. The Samoan still had a few inches on him, and Dean pressed his arm against Roman’s, focusing on where their hands were joined. 

“I don’t think I can be mad at you, Rome. I can’t believe you even noticed I was looking at it.”

“Well...I guess I kinda had my eye on something I wanted, too.”

Dean felt his heart rate pick up, and he could have sworn Roman was leaning in closer until Seth ran past them, Finn running behind him. 

“Seth! You can’t take the flamingo-SETH!”

Roman groaned and threw his hands in the air. 

“Oh, goddamn it-what is it with him and birds? Come on, let’s go keep him from-Seth! Get back here! That bird ain’t your friend, boy!”

Roman took off after the two, and Dean shook his head, smiling and lazily following. He wanted to see where this would go.

\---

“Hey-stop moving around-ow!”

“Sorry, Roman!”

Roman and Dean were in the backseat again, shifting and trying to find an at least semi-comfortable position. They were almost to Dean’s house so Seth could finish party planning with Lita, but Dean had a cramp in one leg and it was getting painful. 

“Shit, Seth, we’re never all coming in the same car again-”

“Dean? Who are those two men in your front lawn?”

They all went quiet at Finn’s question. Dean managed to lean forward enough to see his house, and his eyes went so wide he was afraid they’d pop out. He didn’t even wait for the car to stop before he was climbing into the front seat and opening the passenger door, managing to not hurt himself while running to the lawn. He didn’t hear the worried yells from inside the car, only the pounding of his boots on the ground. 

“EDDIE! CHRIS!”

Dean jumped onto the man who’d been mowing the lawn. He knew he was one of the three people on the planet allowed to hug Chris, and he took advantage of that. Chris, for his part, returned the gesture, patting Dean on the back. 

“Hey, what, no love for me?”

Dean jumped into Eddie’s arms next, pressing his face against his neck and inhaling the scent of the same cologne Eddie always wore. It was one of the most comforting, familiar smells Dean knew of. Dean distantly heard the car parking and his friends getting out, but he just. Did not want to let go. 

“Hey, hey, it’s alright, Deano. I missed you, kid, we both did.”

Dean hid his face in Eddie’s shoulder, trying to control his shoulders from showing that he was crying. 

Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit were the closest thing he had to fathers in his life. They were the guitarist and drummer for the band, and they’d known his mom since she was a teenager, and had practically raised her. They’d done everything for his mom and him, and he loved them so, so much, but they hadn’t been around in the past few years. Not in person, at least, they still made sure to call as much as they could.

“You gonna introduce us to your friends?”

Dean nodded, pulling away. He knew his eyes were wet and he probably looked awful, but he sniffed and wiped his face and turned. Roman, Seth, and Finn were all standing there, and Dean hiccuped before he could talk. His voice was smaller than usual, wet and quiet.

“Uh-um, Eddie, Chris, this is-this is Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, and Finn Balor. They’re my best friends. Guys-this is-Eddie and Chris, they’re my family-”

Dean had to hide his face in Eddie’s shoulder again, because he could not stop the flood of tears. 

“We haven’t seen him in a while. It’s a very emotional moment for us.”

“It’s nice to meet you both.”

Roman was the first to speak up, and Dean knew he was shaking hands with both men, and Finn and Seth followed his lead. He felt Roman’s hand on his back.

“Hey, we’re gonna go inside. Take your time.”   
Dean nodded, and soon he and the two older men were the only ones left outside. Eddie rubbed his back with one hand, the other cupping the back of Dean’s head. He felt Eddie kiss the side of his head. 

“It’s okay, Dean. We’re here. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Dean.”

They sat down under the large tree in the front, Dean between them in the shade. He wiped the tears away again and looked between the two men.

“What are you doing here?”

“We came for your birthday.”

“Yeah, and we’ve been looking for a place to settle down, you know? Your mom highly recommended this place. We’re still looking at a few houses, but we think we found one not too far from here.”

Dean was about to cry again.

“You guys are gonna move here?”

“Yeah. We wanted to be close to you two again.”

Dean leaned on Eddie. Of the two, Eddie had always been the more physically affectionate. Chris could be, but he just tended to stay quiet and to himself. They sat outside for a few minutes before Eddie held up Dean’s wrist.

“Wow, look at you, high roller! Where’d you get that?”

Dean blushed and snatched his wrist back, rubbing his fingers over the watch again and smiling.

“It...was a gift.”

“Oh?”

“Oooh, Deano, do you have a sweetheart?”

Dean rolled his eyes, but took the watch off for Chris and Eddie to look at. They both made similar faces at the inscription.

“It’s from the big guy?”

Dean nodded, smiling down at the watch. 

“Yeah. He’s….yeah.”

“You like him.”

“Oh my GOD, Dean, you totally like him! And he likes you! You have a boyfriend!”

“No I don’t! We haven’t...there’s nothing like that.”

“Yet.”

Dean gently elbowed Chris, who smiled and stood, reaching down to ruffle Dean’s hair. He went back to mowing the lawn, while Eddie and Dean went inside. 

\---

They ordered pizza that night, and Seth and Eddie somehow got into a ‘who can tell the crazier story’ competition, which was unbelievably entertaining for everyone. Roman tossed in a few of his own re-tellings of the things Seth had done, and Dean noticed the looks he got from all three adults in the room. 

After a few hours, Dean took his friends to his room for a bit, while Lita, Eddie, and Chris talked about something privately. He and Roman sat on the bed, while Finn sat himself in Seth’s lap at Dean’s desk. 

“Those two are fucking awesome. How do you know them, again?”

Dean swallowed. He was hesitant to tell the full story, because it was...a long story, but Roman squeezed his knee and kept it there, thumb gently rubbing across it. Dean took a deep breath and shifted a little on the bed.

“Uh...well...my mom, when she was fifteen, was a runaway. She ended up finding this group of guys, and she was freaked out at first, but they ended up taking her in and helping her get back into school and everything, and they taught her stuff about music. When she was sixteen, they started their band. Eddie and Chris have known her since then, and….the other guy, he-he was my dad.”

The other three boys were silent, and Dean would have stopped there, but Roman grabbed his hand and squeezed. It would be alright. They were his best friends. They could know his story.

“Uh-he-he was kind of an asshole, but when my mom was seventeen, he...they got into a thing, and she ended up pregnant. He didn’t like that. He-he didn’t like that and he found out and he started-I was-I was, uh, born with some problems. We were somewhere in fucking Louisiana when I was born, and-I don’t know, I had some weird medical problems. Uh. Doctors think that’s why my head’s a little….weird. But after my mom gave birth, like, two days after, he got her alone and started-he was beating her, and you know, she couldn’t fight back or anything. She’d just given birth and it was a long, long fucking birth.”

“So-I mean, he’s damn near about to kill Mom, and then-she always told me that Eddie and Chris came in before he could do anything permanent-and they did something to him. I don’t know what. But he never bothered us again. So-they kinda saved my life from the start, and my mom’s, and they came with us to Mexico.”

“Wait, you lived in Mexico?”

Dean nodded. 

“Yeah, for like, ten years. I grew up there, and then we moved to Cincinnati, and then we moved here. Eddie and Chris had already lived in Mexico-well, we lived in Piedras Negras the whole time, it’s right across the border-Eddie’s family lived in El Paso and helped us out. Um...but...yeah, I mean. They’ve been with me my whole life. Eddie taught me guitar and bass. They’re kinda like my dads.”

The room was quiet for a few moments. 

“I was actually named after him. My dad, I mean. Only kept the damn name cause I wanted to prove I was better than him.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, dude, I...wow.”

Roman squeezed Dean’s hand and pulled it closer to him. He leaned in and spoke quietly.

“Hey, I-we all are really grateful you were willing to share that with us. Thank you.”

Dean blushed. It really wasn’t a big thing, but...it also kind of was. He’d never told any friend that he’d had about the problems he had at birth, or the long-lasting ramifications. It was always something he thought was embarrassing, but he didn’t feel that with these three.

“Hey, wait, that means you can probably speak Spanish.”

“Yeah, I’m fluent.”

“Then why did I have to do all the translating for that project at camp?!”

They all laughed at the indignant tone in Seth’s voice, and Dean shifted closer to Roman on the bed. 

“Seriously, you’re fluent and I stayed up until four in the morning with a translating dictionary? What the hell, Dean?”

\---

Dean sipped his soda through his straw, watching and smiling as Charlotte’s father told a story about this time he was on a plane with some coworkers. He liked her dad, and he could tell that Eddie was positively riveted. 

Eddie and Chris came with them to the party at Seth’s house, and Eddie had forced party hats on everyone. Chris’ had polka dots. Even Hunter had taken one, Shawn getting plenty of pictures of his boyfriend with it. Finn seemed to have taken on the job of serving everyone drinks, and Dean was enjoying meeting some of the families. 

Roman had come alone, but gave Dean a card that was apparently from his younger brothers, and then another from his sister, and another from his mom. Becky had brought her parents-Dean hadn’t expected that, but one of her dads’ mohawk was a fucking masterpiece, and they were both really funny, and Dean instantly got along with them. Even Mr. Hardy came, along with his brother. 

That alone was an amazing gift. 

Jeff had mentioned that his partner was planning to join them, but unfortunately got called away for work. Dean hadn’t even known Jeff was married, but Jeff had just laughed and showed him the tattoo on his inner wrist that they’d gotten instead of rings. 

He was currently sitting next to Seth and Shawn on the couch, waiting for the food to get done. Hunter had bought an obscene amount of meat and, according to Seth, had been cooking since Friday night. Dean had been really surprised at that. His mom and Eddie and Chris were the only people who ever went through any real effort for him in the past, but now he was sitting in a stupidly big house, surrounded by friends and family and Roman, with a silly party hat on and a table full of gifts. 

He was still wary about the gifts, but by God, this was more than he’d ever thought he’d have.

Hunter announced soon after that all of the food was ready, and they all sat in the huge living room and ate, still telling stories and laughing. Dean made eye contact with Roman from across the room, and the Samoan smiled and stuck his tongue out. Dean stuck his out right back at Roman. 

Once everyone had had their fill, Hunter wheeled in a cart with a massive cake on it, and Dean really had never seen this much food in his life. Nor had he had so many people sing ‘happy birthday’ to him. Eddie and Finn were at his side as he blew out the candles, Eddie lifting him up in a hug. 

The cake was damn good. Dean had to stop himself from getting thirds. 

Roman sat next to him-with his own second piece of cake-while Dean was handed gifts. He opened all of the cards first, and neatly stacked them next to him. He loved the one from Roman’s brothers, it was handmade and depicted them and Dean as superheroes. He was gonna put that one on his wall. There was an obscene amount of money in the cards, and he was more than a little embarrassed at that. 

Roman handed him a box, that was from Becky and her dads. He ran his fingers over the cloth, and the buckles on the side.

“A kilt?”

“Bit of a tradition for the men in our family.”

Dean felt very warm at that.

He got a signed original copy of one of Deletion’s first songs, and a guitar pick that Jeff explained  was his luckiest one. Finn bought him a new helmet and fancy eyeliner, and Charlotte gifted him with a set of what had to be the softest pajamas and robe he’d ever felt (she emphasized comfort, with a wink). Seth bought him an obscene amount of high-quality art supplies, including a massive canvas that was almost as tall as Dean. 

Eddie and Chris brought their gift to him, and he tore into it. 

“You got me a new amp!”

“Yeah, the one you always wanted. That’ll bust your eardrums.”

Hunter’s gift was small, just an envelope. Dean was much more careful with it, and he read over the papers, looking up at Hunter with wide eyes. 

“What-are you for real?”

“It’s outside. Go on.”

Dean ran outside, jumping over Roman in the process. Hunter must have had it delivered while they were all inside. 

“Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.”

Dean ran his hands through his hair, staring at the machine. It was a brand-new, clearly customized motorcycle. Dean dropped to his knees and ran his fingers over the metal. It was absolutely gorgeous. He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m an enthusiast myself, when it comes to bikes. I noticed yours was getting a little run-down. I was also gonna offer my expertise in repair, if you want.”

“Hunter, I-why?”

Hunter kneeled next to him-he had to be careful, one of his knees wasn’t in top shape anymore-and he kept his hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“You remind me a lot of myself. I wasn’t born into all of this. When I was your age, all I had was a couple of friends and a shitty job. I didn’t finish high school. If someone had done anything like this for me when I was younger, I would’ve been a better man. You have all the makings of a better man than me.”

Dean swallowed, and he brought his hands up to cover his face. He was crying an awful lot in the past few days, he noticed. But he couldn’t help it. This was unbelievable. He remembered being a six-year-old kid in Piedras Negras, with nothing but his three family members and an old acoustic guitar. They didn’t even have enough beds for everyone then; Chris and Eddie had always slept on the floor. Dean remembered being fifteen and having no one but those same three people remember that it even was his birthday.

Hunter wrapped his arm around Dean and rubbed his shoulder, letting him cry. Dean knew a few other people had come out, probably the whole party at this point, and Dean only looked up when he heard his mom’s voice next to him.

“Happy birthday, songbird.”

Hunter let Dean go, so he could fall into his mom’s arms, hands gripping her jacket. She held him and kissed the top of his head, and they heard everyone file back inside at Hunter’s insistence. Dean appreciated having a few minutes alone with his mom.

“I got you a gift, too, but it’s at home. Do you wanna wait, or has all of the surprises been a bit much?”

Dean nodded against her shoulder.

“It’s the Modulus bass.”

Dean pulled away, looking up at her. 

“The-really?”

“Yeah. Everyone here wanted you to have a really, really special birthday, me included. You mean the world to me, honey, and I know-I know I haven’t been able to give you much in the past-”

“Mom-”

“No, I know. I know that we’ve never had money, or a lot of comfort. But we do now. You do now. And I’m not ever letting you go back to the life we had.”

Dean leaned on her again, looking at the shiny metal of the motorcycle. They sat quietly for a minute, and he rubbed the watch on his wrist. 


	7. Every Mushroom Cloud Has A Silver Lining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> roman has a hell of a fucking week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god this is 7100 words i'm SORRY it just kept GOING and GOING and would not stop

Roman groaned in frustration. He wasn’t the best with words all of the time, but he had to get this essay perfect. 

“How about, ‘I’m an excellent candidate for this scholarship because I have proven, through four years of football and many years of volunteer work for various organizations, that I have outstanding interpersonal skills and the ability to work flawlessly in a team and social environment’?

Roman turned in his chair to look at his sister. She was lounging on his bed, tossing a football into the air. 

“That sounds so fake, dude.”

“It’s a scholarship application, Roman, it’s supposed to sound fake. They look for that professional bullshit.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to write it in my own voice?”

Nia shrugged, tossing him the ball.

“Maybe. Who knows, maybe it’d be refreshing. You could call Dad tonight, ask him what he did.”

“I think Dad and Uncle Afa just got in on chutzpah and sheer skill.”

Nia laughed and they tossed the ball back and forth. 

“I mean, probably, yeah. You should still talk to him though.”

Roman sighed.

“Or I could talk to Dwayne.”

Nia frowned, and Roman hated to see the expression on his sister.

“He’s being a real hardass, lately. I don’t know what’s up with him.”

Roman averted his eyes and rubbed his shoulder. The scars were still there from the glass, and he ran his fingers over them.

“Hey, don’t think about that, Roman. You’ll have an attack.”

Roman pulled his hand away and nodded, shaking himself out of his reverie. He knew she was right. He’d get to thinking about It, and then he’d have a panic attack, and then...well, probably, then his stepdad would make a shitty comment, and that would make it worse. Nia stood and grabbed Roman’s hand. 

“Come on. Let’s actually have some fun practicing for once, and then we can get back to working on the essay.”

\---

“It’s turned in and everything. I’m hoping they’ll be impressed.”

“You’ll get it, Roro, don’t worry! It’s practically a tradition for the seniors in your family who’re on the team to get a slot.”

Roman sighed and nodded. He, Seth, Dean, and Finn were making their way to the cafeteria, and Roman had explained what all he’d said in his essay. He trusted Seth to be right, because it really was kind of a tradition for his family to receive the scholarship he’d applied to. He’d applied for plenty more-he wanted lots of opportunities, so he had already started this early in the school year. Of course, the primary one he’d signed up for was the most important.

Almost everyone in his family had gone to the school. His grandfather, his father and uncle, Dwayne, even Ed and Rosey. Roman didn’t know what he’d do if he didn’t get the damn thing. He didn’t even want to think about what his stepdad’s reaction would be. 

Dean nudged him. 

“Do you wanna come over today?”

Roman smiled, cheeks flushing a little. He really liked going to Dean’s house. He liked Dean. 

“Yeah, I-”

“Hey look, it’s the  _ big dog _ !”

Roman tensed, but didn’t react. Brock was trying to get a rise out of him. He always did. Dean glared at Brock, so did Seth and Finn, but Roman kept walking. 

“You know why they call him that, right?”

Roman kept walking. Brock wouldn’t get to him. 

“That’s cause that’s all the people from his fucking country are.  _ Dogs _ . Maybe they should go back to their third world kennel.”

Roman stopped, clenching his fists, taking deep breaths. 

Dean moved before Roman even knew what was happening. 

He turned and saw Dean on top of Brock, slamming his fist into Brock’s head, and he looked like he was about to tear Brock’s ear off with his other hand. Roman and Seth jumped forward, both of them wrapping their arms around Dean, trying to pull him off of Brock.

“YOU FUCKING SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO HIM EVER AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL BUST YOUR FUCKING SKULL OPEN-”

A few teachers came out at the commotion, Mr. Foley stepping between everyone.

“LET ME GO-I’M GONNA FUCKING BREAK HIM-”

Dean was screaming, furious and bleeding from where Brock had gotten a few hits in. Brock wasn’t bleeding, and he glared at Dean from the ground. Roman finally got a hold of Dean properly, with Seth’s help. 

“DEAN! Stop! Stop it, Dean, calm down-calm the hell down!”

Mr. Foley came towards them, and Dean stared at the ground. He was visibly shaking, and he wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“I’m gonna take you to the principal’s office. Brock is coming too. You’re not gonna fight him while we’re down there.”

Dean glanced up at Mr. Foley through his bangs and nodded. Roman looked to the teacher, worried. 

“Wait, hold on, can-can he get cleaned up first, at least?”

Mr. Foley nodded and Roman took Dean into the nearby bathroom. Before the door closed, he caught a glance of Seth storming off, Finn on his heels. Someone was already leading Brock to the office. 

Dean leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. Roman paced back and forth for a moment, running his hands over his face. He stood in front of Dean and threw his hands in the air.

“What the fuck was that?”

“He fucking deserved it.”

“Yeah, he did, Dean, but you’re gonna get in trouble for it. He’s not. He never does. You’re going to get so much shit for this.”

“I don’t care.”

“You should!”   
“Why?! I just shouldn’t fucking stand up to that fucker? He was being a fucking racist, he deserved to get his ass beat, Roman, I’m not-I’m not gonna let anyone sit and fucking talk to you like that! Ever!”

Roman closed his eyes and sighed. He approached Dean slowly, and reached out, holding Dean’s hand. He held it up and inspected it, gently guiding him to the sink. He washed Dean’s hands off, careful of the broken skin, and he grabbed a few paper towels, wetting them and holding them up.

“Tilt your head up.”

Dean obeyed and his eyes darted around, and Roman dapped at the cut on his lip, and then the one on his cheekbone.

“Dean….I...you can’t do that. Not with him. He won’t ever change, or learn, and you’re gonna get hurt.”

“It’s worth it.”

“What is? What’s worth getting kicked out and pissing off a guy who can ruin your life?”

“You.”

Roman looked Dean in the eyes. He saw nothing but an earnest truth, and he exhaled softly. 

“Dean, I-”

“Are you clean yet? Sorry to barge in, had to make sure you weren’t going out the window.”

“Mr. Foley, we’re on the second story.”   
“And anyone who’s crazy enough to fight Brock Lesnar more than once is probably willing to jump out of a second story window.”

Mr. Foley’s soft, gruff voice wasn’t judgmental. Rather, there was a hint of….pride?

“I’m not supposed to say this, but….it was nice to see someone willing to stand up to someone like him. You’re a good kid, Dean. I’ll make sure the principal knows what really happened.”

Dean nodded, glancing at Roman before following Mr. Foley out of the bathroom. Roman stood against the wall, leaning his head back, letting his eyes slip shut for a moment.

\---

“So I’m grounded for tonight, but Mom said it was just so she could say she did something.”

“So...you’re not in trouble at home?”

“Nah. Mom knows I don’t fight for no reason.”

Roman laid on his bed and sighed. 

“For a week, though? They really suspended you for nine fucking days? I heard Brock only got like, three.”

“I’m not shocked. I threw the first-well, I threw most of the damn punches, so I’m gonna end up with the longer punishment.”

Roman frowned.

“School is gonna suck without you.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine. You have plenty of other friends-”

“And none of them are you.”

Roman knew Dean would blush at that. He’d been laying it on thick over the past few weeks. It was November, and they’d known each other since the end of August. Roman hadn’t even needed all those months to fall for Dean. Dean just...fulfilled something in Roman, and made him feel amazing and happy and safe. He heard the sounds of a guitar and drums and microphone feedback through the speaker.

“Oh-shit, Rome, I gotta go. Text me later?”

“Yeah, of course.”

\---

Roman ran around the back yard, grinning until his cheeks hurt. Nia and Ember were chilling on the porch, practicing singing, and the twins were chasing Roman around with nerf guns. He felt a dart hit his back, and he stopped, throwing his hand against his forehead as dramatically as he could. 

“OH! I’ve been fell!”

Roman dropped to the ground, the twins running up to him and laughing. 

“Send word home….to my mother…..”   
Roman let out a very over-dramatic death rattle and closed his eyes. He waited until he knew the twins were leaning down closer to him. He jumped up suddenly, grabbing both of them by their waists.

“Zombie attack!”

The twins fought their way out of Roman’s hold and he chased after them, moaning and groaning like a proper zombie. He was a damn good actor. He laughed and thought to himself that he should’ve tried out for the play. 

Jimmy jumped on his back, and Roman huffed. 

“You’re getting a little big for that-”

“You lie! Now charge!”

Roman shook his head and indeed charged, running towards Jey.

“Roman!”

He looked to the door where their stepfather stood, and frowned. Jimmy hopped off of him and went off with Jey, and Roman shared a look with Nia as he passed by her. He walked inside, his stepdad shutting the door behind them. 

“Yes?”

“Have you finished your homework?”

“Yes.”

“Your chores?”

“Yes.”   
“Have you heard back from any of the jobs you applied to?”

Roman sighed and rolled his eyes, and his stepdad’s nostrils flared.

“Watch your attitude.”

“No, I haven’t heard back from any. I only put all my applications out last week. It’s not gonna be immediate.”

His stepdad stormed off, muttering about how ‘disrespectful’ some people in the house were. Roman scoffed. As if his step-father wasn’t the most passive aggressive, grudge-holding, disrespectful person in the entire damn family. Roman suddenly missed his dad a lot. Roman shook his head and went back outside. He planned on using his evening to have fun with his siblings, and that’s what he was gonna do. He spotted the twins looking over the fence, and grinned. Their backs were turned, and he slipped his shoes off, sneaking up behind them. He got as close as he could, and threw his head back and roared. The twins both jumped and screamed, and Roman caught Jey, the three of them laughing and roughhousing.

\---

Roman tossed and turned in bed. He hadn’t been able to see Dean in three days, and it was starting to get to him. He sighed and reached for his phone. He pulled up the same text conversation he always pulled up when he felt like this. He typed out a message, and waited. His phone vibrated a few minutes later. It was only eleven-forty, and he knew Taker would still be up. The man naturally didn’t sleep much. 

Roman stood and got dressed, in the loose gym clothes he always wore on nights at the gym. He wrote a note, leaving it in the kitchen, and went to wait on the porch. He locked the door behind him just as the truck pulled up. Roman climbed up into the vehicle and shut the door. 

“Hey, Mark.”

“Roman.”

“Uh...tonight, could...could we just talk? I’m not-it wasn’t a nightmare or a panic attack this time.”

Mark raised an eyebrow and nodded, driving them to the gym. They may not workout or anything tonight, but it was sort of their place. Roman followed Mark to the little office in the corner of the building. 

“What’s going on?”

“It’s….this guy.”

“Good guy or bad guy?”

“Good. Very good. The best. He’s…”

“Oh. So you’re in love.”

Roman blushed. Mark was good at reading people, and hearing unsaid things. Roman shrugged.

“I mean-I don’t know, maybe, I...I’ve never been in love, but-he’s so amazing, Mark, he’s-”

“You wanna talk about him. Go ahead.”

Roman hesitated, but he could only keep his thoughts to himself for so long.

“He’s amazing. He’s hot, and has gorgeous red hair and his eyes are really bright and his smile is-it’s so beautiful, and he’s so, so fucking smart, and strong, and he’s been through so much shit-oh, and he plays guitar  _ and _ bass  _ and _ writes music, and I think he sings, too, but he hasn’t talked about it much-but he’s in a band and he draws, he’s so good at art-”

Roman noticed Mark smiling. He knew the older man had a partner or spouse of some sort, but he was vague about it. He used gender-neutral pronouns and didn’t wear a ring or have any pictures, but Roman knew they’d been together for years. 

“Sounds like mine. You ask him out yet?”

Roman sighed. 

“No. Cause I’m a fucking wuss.”

Roman fidgeted with his hands, almost reaching up to touch at the scars on his shoulder before pulling his hand away.

“He got suspended this week because….this guy-he said something real nasty to me, about my family-and Dean just lost it. He’s fought the guy once before, and he’ll probably do it again, but...no one’s ever been willing to risk so much for me. He told me-well...he said that I was worth it, and...I don’t know. I feel like we’re so close, and we both want it, but-there just hasn’t been the right moment.”

Roman looked up at Mark; the older man was stroking his fingers over the short stubble on his chin. 

“Yeah. You’re in love. Sounds like the kid-Dean, was it? Sounds like Dean is, too.”

Mark leaned forward, elbows on his desk, and Roman straightened his posture. When Mark was talking, people needed to listen. 

“Listen, Roman. You’re not stupid. You know what you’re feeling. You’re just having a hard time admitting it. And I don’t blame you, love is fucking scary.”

“When you-when you and your partner-was it...were you scared?”

Mark smiled, and Roman saw him instinctively rub his wrist.

“Damn straight I was. When me and them first said the words to each other, we were sitting in a holding cell at a police station in some bumfuck town in Arizona. I was at risk of ten years in prison, and they were getting charged on-nevermind. But it was scary. I thought I’d never see them again, so I just said it. Sometimes there is no perfect moment. You just have to say it.”

Roman nodded. Mark was right. Of course he was. Roman nodded to himself again.

“I’ll talk to him. I….I’m gonna. I’m gonna do it. I’ll tell him.”

Mark smiled, leaning back in his chair. 

“You can talk about him more, I can see you damn near about to burst if you don’t.”

Roman sighed and grinned, rambling for an hour about Dean and what he liked-well….what he loved about him.

\---

The class quieted. Roman was sad that the seat next to him was still empty, but he was planning on surprising Dean tonight, and he was excited. Not only about Dean, but because the announcements for the scholarship were being made this morning. Whenever a senior got a scholarship, it was announced, and Roman had rushed out the door this morning. He’d get a letter that day, too, but he liked learning it this way. 

Seth squeezed his shoulder and Roman turned and smiled at him and Finn. Charlotte nodded at him, smiling her brilliantly white smile. The announcements for the morning started. Roman’s whole body felt tight and anxious. 

He did wish Dean was here with him.

“-and finally, we’re proud to announce that all three slots of the Imperium scholarship for football players applying to Woodson University have been filled by members of our senior class-”

Roman held his breath.

“-and the slots have gone to Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens, and Brock Lesnar. Congratulations to those three seniors!”

The class was deathly silent as the announcements ended. Even Mr. Foley was quiet. Roman stared up at the speaker, face blank. 

Becky’s voice was almost too quiet to hear in front of him.

“They didn’t say your name.”

The world came crashing back to Roman at that, and he felt his breath coming to him quickly, a pricking numbness in his lips forming. A part of his mind recognized the telltale signs of a panic attack, but his brain was focused on comprehending what had happened.

There was no way. There was no way that he couldn’t have gotten it. His entire family had been recipients, Roman had worked so hard to make sure he fit every requirement, every need, he kept his grades at straight As, he helped coach the team, he sat through painful practice after painful practice and spent four years busting his ass for the chance to get this. It had to happen. One of the last things Ed and Rosey had talked to him about was getting that, that they were sure-they’d known he would, and Roman couldn’t-

“Kids, start on the reading I outlined on the board. Roman, come with me.”

Roman let himself be led out of the room, taking huge gasps of air once they were in the hallway. He couldn’t even hear Mr. Foley, and he didn’t even feel like he was able to see. This didn’t happen. There was no way. He had promised them. He’d promised his brothers. 

He didn’t realize he’d been mumbling that until Mr. Foley gently grabbed his arms. 

“Roman, Roman, you need to breathe. Look at me.”

Roman blinked and looked at Mr. Foley. He focused as hard as he could, and Mr. Foley guided him through breathing, calming down a little. Once the numbness was gone, he ran his hands through his hair, pulling the whole of it over one shoulder and running his hands over it, over and over. 

“Can you stay here today? Do you need to go home?”

“I don’t….I don’t know.”

“Okay. Let’s go back into the class, and if you feel like you can’t be here, we’ll find someone to take you home.”

“I don’t wanna miss class-”

“Roman, I’ve known you for four years, and the only time you’ve missed school was when you literally had to get surgery. I think it’ll be fine.”

Roman nodded and followed Mr. Foley back into the room, Keeping his head down and hunching over at his desk, trying to read the pages they’d been assigned. He felt Seth hesitantly reaching to his shoulder, but he pulled away. 

He didn’t want to be bothered right now.

\---

“Roman?” 

Roman looked up from his food-he’d have to throw it out, he had no energy to eat-and frowned. Dwayne was standing next to him, and he gestured for Roman to follow. He left the silence of the table-all of his friends were about as down as he was-and followed Dwayne to the quiet space outside of the cafeteria. Dwayne paced, and Roman crossed his arms in front of himself, letting his shoulders slouch.

“What the fuck happened?”

Roman shrugged.

“There is no goddamn way that you didn’t get a slot. I don’t know what happened, but this stinks, and it stinks like that Philly cheesesteak motherfucker-”

Roman hadn’t thought about that, somehow. Dwayne was referring to Paul Heyman, Brock’s uncle and ‘advocate’-stupid term for ‘lawyer who got him out of trouble whenever he did something awful’. Roman knew Sami and Kevin would never purposefully hurt him. They were good guys, great guys, actually, and Roman loved having them on his team. But Brock? He was absolutely the kind of petty and cruel to make this happen.

“I’m gonna find out what the fuck happened. I don’t care about what that fucking family might do to us, if I find out they did this to you, I’m coming down on them like the hand of the Almighty Himself.”

Roman tried to make himself smaller, and Dwayne let him go back to his lunch table. Seth gently laid his hand over Roman’s. 

“I’m gonna talk to Hunter tonight. I know this was Brock’s doing. Nothing could make him look better than you that wasn’t thin green paper.”

Roman couldn’t even bring himself to react much, unable to summon the energy for anything more than a small nod. 

\---

“Yeah, I’m looking forward to going to school there. I already talked to the coach, I think he got the best with us three. Well. He got the best with me.”

Roman heard Brock talking, and he knew Brock was saying those things to piss him off, but Roman couldn’t even be pissed off. Not really. He just tried to keep his eyes focused on the book in front of him. Nothing else made sense today, but math always would. 

“You know, I bet they were tired of getting all of the same gene pool. Especially after those last two.”

The class went silent, and Roman shut his book, taking a deep breath and sitting up straight. He wouldn’t get mad at Brock for talking shit about him, but absolutely no one was allowed to speak about Ed and Rosey that way. No one. The bell rang, and Roman stood, standing in front of Brock’s desk. He made eye contact with the boy and kept his face carefully blank.

“Brock. Listen. I don’t care what you did. You got the scholarship. You got it to fuck me over. That’s fine. You talk shit about me all the time, you’ve never shown me respect, you don’t like me. That’s fine. I’m not gonna fight you over any of that. Plenty of people don’t like me. I don’t wanna get suspended just cause I’m not universally loved. But if you ever, ever mention my brother and cousin again, I will rip your throat out. I will feed it back to you. And I will tear the skin off of your face and pull out each of your teeth so you can’t ever make that smug look at me or anyone else ever again.”

Roman turned to leave, stopping at the door.

“And Brock? Congratulations. You’re a good player. I think you’ll do well there.”   
The only classes left for the day were his electives, and he ducked into the restroom, sitting in the corner under the window. He was already good at his last two classes, he didn’t need to be there. Roman took a deep breath. 

He scrolled through the pictures on his phone and found the pictures he took with his brother and cousin on the day they got into college. They were so happy in the pictures, and Roman had taken selfies with both of them, and he didn’t even recognize himself. He was so happy then. He smiled and his eyes looked bright and alive and he knew he didn’t look like that anymore. Roman couldn’t help but feel like he’d been robbed, a little. Of his happiness, of his family. He felt his breath coming short and fast again, and he shut his eyes tight, squeezing them until he saw bright little spots of color behind his eyelids.

Roman dialed Mark’s number before he realized it, and held the phone up to his ear. 

“Roman? Aren’t you in school right now?”

“Mark-”

His voice broke on the first word, and he couldn’t hold back the sobs anymore. They wracked his body, and Mark didn’t say anything. Just listened. After a few minutes, Roman was able to speak through the crying.

“He-I didn’t get it-I let them down, I let my brothers down-”

“You didn’t let them down.”

“Brock fucking got it-I didn’t-I don’t know what I did to him, I don’t know what I ever did-he’s ruining my fucking life, I don’t know why-I don’t know why he hates me so much-”

Roman sobbed again, and he heard the door open, tensing and freezing until he saw Seth come towards him. Seth didn’t speak, he just sat next to Roman and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Roman-listen to me. He’s a bad person. He does bad things. He doesn’t like you because you’re better than him, and because you’re not white. It’s not your fault. You haven’t done anything.”

Roman sobbed harder and leaned on Seth.

“Roman, do you need me to come get you?”

It took a few minutes before he could answer, but he shook his head.

“N-no, I think-I need to see-no, th-thank you. Thank you.”

Roman hung up with Mark soon after, and he sat quietly with Seth. 

“Seth-I’m sorry for being-being so rude all day-”

Seth shook his head and hugged Roman close, until Roman was leaning his head on Seth’s shoulder. Seth kissed his forehead and pressed his cheek against it.

“You can be as rude as you need right now. I know how much this meant to you. I know you-I know you feel like Ed and Rosey would be disappointed, but Roman, were they ever once disappointed in you? Ever? They loved you and believed in you no matter what, just like I do. This was the work of that asshole and his slimy fucking uncle. I’m gonna make this right. I don’t know how, but I’m-we’re gonna fix this. I’m not letting them rob you of this.”

“There’s nothing we can-”

“No. We’re not talking like that. You were at my side every day for years when I kept saying there was nothing I could do to stay alive, and you never let me believe there was nothing to do. We have gotten through worse and we’re gonna get through this, and we’re gonna do it together. We’ve been doing this our whole lives, like hell I’m gonna give up because of Brock fucking Lesnar and his shitty attitude.”

Roman looked up at Seth. He had the same determined look on his face that he’d had since he first got out of the hospital three years ago, and seeing his mind made up, Roman felt a little less awful about the situation he’d found himself in. He always could look to Seth for inspiration, and strength, and love. 

“Is it….I still feel bad, about-all of this.”

“I know. You’re allowed to. You don’t have to hide it or force yourself to feel different.”

“I just...Ed and Rosey were talking about it when-when it-”

“Roman, what time is it?”

“Oh-uh-three thirty-five.”

“What day is it?”

“‘S Friday. The eleventh.”

“What’s my full name?”

“Seth Hunter Rollins.” 

“What’s yours?”

“Roman Leakee Reigns.”

“How do you feel?”

Roman took stock of his body and mind; Seth had jumped in at the right moment to divert another panic attack, and his body was still heavy and slow. His thoughts were scattered, but not moving fast enough to be worrying.

“Better. Thanks.”

“How about you come over tonight? You can spend the weekend with me, and we can just hang out and watch some stupid action movies.”

Roman’s lip twitched up-about as close to a smile as he could manage-and he pressed himself against Seth’s side. 

“Maybe tomorrow. I…”

“You wanna see Dean?”

“God, am I that fucking obvious?”

Seth laughed and squeezed Roman’s shoulders.

“You’ve been obvious since day one.”

\---

Roman sat outside, back against the wall. The wind was stronger now and biting against his skin, but it helped. Roman had always liked this time of year. The world always seemed more still, and quiet, and peaceful. Lonely. 

But Roman had gotten used to being lonely.

Everyone had left, or almost everyone. Sami and Kevin had come up to him during the day, tears in their eyes, trying to apologize, and he’d been grateful for that, but he’d told them they didn’t have to. And they didn’t. Roman really did love those guys, he’d known them for years and had even celebrated a few holidays with Sami. He’d never, ever be mad at them for having opportunities that they more than earned. 

Roman sniffled. The wind did start to bother his nose after a while. He pulled his phone out and looked at the time. 

It’d only been fifteen minutes since school ended. Finn had left with Seth, after hugging Roman and kissing his cheek. It’d been nice, but Roman had needed the time alone. He’d had unstable moods for a year, and it got worse the closer it got to the anniversary of-

He felt flat, now, but he could feel the anger building. It always started slow before erupting.

He dialed the number he’d been planning on calling for the past day, and waited.

“Hey, Roman! How are y-”

“Can you come get me, please?”

There was silence for a moment.

“I-yeah, absolutely, what’s wrong? School is out, are you home?”

“Nah. Still at school.”

“Did something happen with Seth?”

“No.”

“...Roman? What happened?”

“I’ll tell you.”

“Okay...I’ll be there soon, Roman.”

Roman knew he sounded off. He’d never been shy when it came to Dean, not really. He never felt like he needed to. He never thought he needed to hide behind fewer words, and he wasn’t really hiding now, but..his anger was quickly bubbling, and he needed to be somewhere safe before it hit. 

He zoned out until he heard the motorcycle, and he stood, pulling his backpack onto his back and walking towards the lot. Dean handed him the helmet, and he put it on. He was still in the mechanical, flat stage, and he held onto Dean tight, the smell of leather and gasoline and Dean bringing feeling back to him. Dean took them to his house instead of Roman’s, which was probably smart. Roman didn’t really want to be near his family. He didn’t want to remember that he was part of any traditions, that he was meant to do anything. He wanted to exist, with no ties. 

Well. Except ties to Dean. 

Dean led Roman to his room and locked the door. 

“Mom won’t be home til way late tonight.”

Roman nodded. He didn’t sit, but Dean did. Dean sat on the bed, looking up at Roman. Roman clenched his fists repeatedly, staring at the ground. He felt the tears well up in his eyes again, and he couldn’t bring himself to look at Dean.

“I-I didn’t-I didn’t get the Imperium.”

Dean didn’t respond, and Roman kept going.

“Kevin-and Sami, they got two, and I was so happy for them, but-fucking- _ he _ got the last slot-he fucking stole it from me-”

Roman glanced up through his hair, and Dean was staring down, quietly fuming. His hands were gripping his comforter tight, and he was shaking.

“I-I don’t-I’m so-”

Roman snarled and slammed his hand onto Dean’s desk. 

“I’m so fucking mad! God, I’ve busted my ass for that team and my family for years, for my whole fucking life, and I’ve lost so fucking much-and what do I get? Disrespect? Pain? Is that all I’m ever gonna get? Am I fucking meant to just-”

Roman panted heavily and tossed his head back, roaring. It was a gesture he inherited from his father, and he punched the desk again. It was sturdy, and didn’t break, but a sharp pain ran through his hand and arm. He held his hand close to his chest and stood there. 

“Roman?”

Roman ducked his head down, falling to his knees in front of Dean. He rested his head on Dean’s lap and sobbed, Dean’s fingers gently running over his biceps. 

“I worked-I worked so hard for it-and I didn’t get it, and-and-Ed and Rosey-I promised them, Dean-”

Roman’s own voice crying out sounded odd to him, but it felt right. He felt like the pain of not only the day he’d had, but the past year was finally pouring out of him. He’d tried to keep it bottled up, expressing it through nights at the gym, imagining the punching bag as that day a year ago. Imagining his stepfather, Brock, his nightmares, all of what went wrong in his life. Now, hearing the sounds of himself crying and screaming, he almost felt...peaceful. 

He slowed after a while, he didn’t know how long. He remembered where he was...who he was with. Dean’s thighs were warm under his arms, and he could smell denim and Dean’s cologne and that leather smell that always seemed to stick with Dean. Roman looked up at Dean, into his clear, lovely eyes. Dean hadn’t interrupted him, hadn’t flinched when he hit the desk or screamed or cried, he’d let Roman cry on him, had gently carded his fingers through Roman’s hair. Dean just looked...worried. 

Roman thought about his talk with Mark the other night. There was no right time. Mark’d been right about that. This couldn’t possibly be the best time. Though, as Roman looked up into Dean’s eyes from the floor, breath still coming in short, heavy pants, he realized there never would be a right time, but he knew all too well that there may not be any time. In a split second, he knew something could happen, something could take Dean away from him.

Roman had never been in love, really, but he always knew he’d love strongly and deeply and fully. He had a sort of love with Seth; they were brothers, through and through, and nothing could ever tear them apart. Roman knew he loved Seth strongly, and fully, and deeply, and he thought about Dean, and the love felt...different. It was easy. Roman looked at Dean and felt calm settle over him, he heard Dean laugh and talk and yell and he felt warmth. 

Roman slowly raised himself off of the ground, keeping his gaze locked with Dean’s, and licked his lips. Dean glanced down at the action, looking back into Roman’s eyes, and Roman leaned in, pressing his lips to Dean’s, one hand coming up to tangle in Dean’s hair. Dean gasped and Roman felt him cup his face, and Roman leaned forward, straddling one of Dean’s legs and pressing himself to Dean’s body. Dean’s arms slipped around his waist and squeezed and Roman moaned. 

He noticed Dean’s lips were just a little chapped, but warm and soft, and Roman couldn’t get enough of them.

He frowned very deeply when Dean broke the kiss, panting, eyes averted from Roman.

“Wait-wait, Ro-I-Roman, I need to make sure-fucking Christ that felt amazing-is this...is this real, or-are you just emotional right now, and you’re gonna leave and tell me this didn’t mean anything?”

Roman tilted his head, brows furrowing.

“Of...of course I want this, Dean. I-God, I’ve wanted this for months, ever since you-ever since you first pulled off your helmet that morning. I-I feel so much for you, and I have for a while now-and-I-there’s no perfect time to say it, or to make my feelings known, and I just-so much fucking bad has happened to me in the past few years, I-I almost lost Seth, I lost my brother and my cousin-and someone is out to fucking get me, but you? My time knowing you is the happiest I’ve ever been,  _ ever _ , and-I just knew-right now, right now is when I needed you to know. I need-fuck, Dean, I need you.”

Dean looked into his eyes and Roman could see his pupils blow out, darkening his eyes and Dean nodded. 

“Good, cause I fucking love you and I need you, too.”

Dean flipped them so that Roman’s back was on the bed, and Dean on top of him, and Dean’s lips were back on his before Roman could really realize anything had happened. Dean was a damn good kisser, one hand in Roman’s hair, the other at his waist, touching the warm, soft skin under his shirt. Roman whined into Dean’s mouth and wrapped his arms around Dean, rolling them until he was on top, knee slotted between Dean’s legs. He felt Dean gasp at that and grinned against Dean’s lips. Roman pulled away to breath and Dean quickly licked at Roman’s lips, letting the tips of their noses bump together. Roman grinned at that, and nuzzled Dean.

“You said you love me.”

Dean grinned, his voice a little lower than usual when he spoke.

“I do, how could I fuckin’ not?”

Roman blushed, and his hair fell around them, and it felt very private, like there was nothing else in the world. 

“I love you too, Dean. You don’t...you don’t think it’s weird that we said that so soon, do you?”

Dean shook his head. He had a fond, sweet look on his face, and it erased the years of stress that usually were etched into Dean’s expression.

“Hell no. If I’m in love, I’m gonna be in love with no regrets and I’m not gonna waste time.”

Roman licked his lips and rolled them onto their sides, throwing a leg over Dean’s hips and wrapping his arms around his waist, holding him close. He gave Dean another Eskimo kiss, and Dean laughed. 

“I don’t wanna waste time, either.”

Dean gently cupped Roman’s cheek, stroking his thumb over Roman’s prominent cheekbone. The tiny action made Roman blush, and he pecked Dean on the lips.

“Ro? Did you wanna talk about today more? I know how much that meant to you.”

Roman looked at Dean, seeing nothing but a sweet and honest care, and he shook his head.

“Later. I wanna just-I just wanna be with you. That’s all I want right now.”

Dean leaned in and pressed his lips to Roman’s again, leaning up on one elbow and threading his fingers through Roman’s hair. 

\---

Roman blinked his eyes open at the sound of his cell phone ringing. He had to work to de-tangle himself from the warm body of the person he laid with. It had gotten dark out, but Roman could see his phone screen in his jacket pocket. He grabbed it off the floor and answered the phone.

“‘llo?”

“Roman? Where are you? You didn’t come home from school and Seth said you weren’t with him-”

“Mom? ‘M fine, Dean came and got me. I-I guess I fell asleep over here.”

He felt Dean stir next to him, the smaller boy snuggling up against his back, spooning Roman. Roman couldn’t help but smile, and he laid back down, holding the phone up.

“Well….are you okay? I heard about what happened. I’m sorry, Roman.”

Roman exhaled through his nose and woke up more at the mention of what happened. 

“I’m..better, now. I don’t wanna talk about it, Mom.”

“Okay...I’m still worried, but I think you know what’s best for you right now. Call me if you need anything?”

“Always.”

“Ti amo.”

“Ti amo, Mom.”

He hung up, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. The room smelled like Dean, and he liked the feeling of Dean’s bare chest against his own bared back. He felt a gentle kiss at the nape of his neck. 

“‘verything okay?”

“Yeah. Mom was worried.”

“That’s sweet.”

Roman smiled and placed his hands over Dean’s, locking their fingers together.

“Yeah.”

“Y’wanna get up? ‘m kinda hungry.”

Roman sat up and stretched, sighing as his back popped. Dean stretched while laying down, and Roman turned on the light so he could watch. Dean was so damned handsome, pale skin and tattoos and gorgeous hair. 

“Gonna order something. You cool with Thai?”

“Yeah. As long as we can eat it in bed.”

Dean grinned and called up the Thai restaurant that Finn had introduced them to. Roman did a couple of real stretches, noticing the very blatant appreciative staring from Dean. Roman smirked and stripped his jeans off, and Dean’s eyes went wide. He crawled back into bed and laid his head on Dean’s lap. Dean petted him and hung up the phone.

“Think I’m ready to talk about earlier.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Sorry if I got-if I freaked you out, at all-”

“Hey, don’t apologize. You can feel like shit with me.”

Roman smiled and kissed Dean’s thigh. 

“It...I know it may not seem like a big deal, cause-I mean, there are other scholarships in the world, you know? But this one has been a huge deal in my family for-generations. It’s always been something we had. And-I broke tradition. I fucked it up.”

“Do you want me to talk, or do you wanna just vent?”

“No, I wanna hear your opinion. I care about what you think.”

“Aw, shucks.”

Roman nudged Dean’s belly with his head.

“You didn’t fuck anything up, Rome. You know who did. Nothing that that jackass does is your fault, babe.”

Roman warmed at the term and blushed, before sobering again.

“What if….what if my not getting it fucks it up for Nia? Or Jimmy and Jey? They all work as hard as I do, and-they’re gonna hate me forever if someone having a grudge against me messes up their life-”

“Roman. Come on. Nia loves you to death and the twins think you’re an actual fucking superhero. You really think they’d ever hate you? Especially for some shit you didn’t do?”

Roman was quiet for a moment and considered that. Ever since his stepdad had entered their home, Roman had begun to think that everything was his fault and that people would hate him and be mad at him no matter what really happened. But...Dean had a point. Roman had always been close with his siblings, and he doesn’t think Nia and the twins would be anything but supportive towards him.

“I guess, yeah.”

He looked up at Dean and smiled.

“I’m still….I don’t feel good about it. I don’t know when I’m gonna, because all I can think of is-is them, and it’s close to….the time when it happened, and all I can think is remembering that day-but...I don’t feel as bad”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I lost that tradition, but I got you.”

Dean blushed, and a small, genuine smile came to his face. Roman sat up and pressed his forehead to Dean’s, letting his hair fall around them again, secluding them again.

“I love you, Roman.”

“I love you, too, Dean.”

Roman, in the back of his mind, remembered Mark’s story. Maybe rough times were the best times to admit your love. One way or another, Roman pressed his lips to Dean’s again, a series of soft, small kisses, until they had to get up to pay for the food.


	8. Remembrance and Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an anniversary happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...so. this is a bit of a heavy chapter. i wrote it on a day that's very difficult for me, and it's REALLY short in comparison to the last chapter, sorry about that, but. i don't know. i needed to write it. loss is a theme.

  
  


Seth sighed and took another drag of his cigarette. He watched as snow gently fell outside, covering the grounds in a white blanket. 

“Hey, thought we agreed on no smoking in the house.”

Seth turned. Hunter stood there, wiping his hands with a rag. He’d been working on one of his bikes, and came to sit next to Seth at the window. Hunter gestured with his hands.

“C’mon. Give me one of those.”

Seth tossed Hunter the pack and then the lighter. Hunter lit the cigarette and inhaled, turning and looking out the window. 

“It’s pretty out.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s going on?”

Seth shook his head, curling up on the seat. 

“The anniversary?”

Seth nodded. Tomorrow was the first anniversary of Ed and Rosey’s passing. Seth had always been close with the boys, having grown up with Roman. Rosey had even insisted that Seth get at least a partial tattoo, like the ones their family had. He missed them desperately, but for the past year, he’d tried to keep strong for his friend. Seth knew that whatever he felt, Roman felt a thousand times harder. 

It didn’t change the fact that he still hurt. 

Hunter sat with him, smoking, watching the snowfall. 

\---

“I invited Dean and Finn to come with us.”

Seth nodded, brushing through his hair. Dean and Finn would probably be there soon to get ready. He was getting ready to straighten his hair, and Roman had just stepped out of the shower. 

They were going with Roman’s family to visit Ed and Rosey’s graves. It was a somber, quiet day, and Roman’s eyes were still red from crying. They’d both cried a lot last night, once Roman had come over. Seth didn’t think either of them realized until then how hard this would hit them, the reality of it. 

Seth heard Hunter opening the door and letting Dean and Finn in. Seth stepped out of his bathroom to greet them. 

“Hey.”

Finn came to him immediately, wrapping his arms around Seth’s bare waist. Finn hugged him tight, kissing his cheek.

“How are you feeling, darling?’

Seth took a deep breath. 

“Awful.”

Dean hugged him, too, before heading into the bathroom with Roman. He closed the door behind him, and Seth went to his closet to grab his suit. He couldn’t even appreciate how nice Finn looked today, in his dark suit. They’d wanted to dress up for the day. 

Dean and Roman were in the bathroom for a while, and Seth and Finn sat together on the couch. They emerged, both with bloodshot eyes, holding hands. Roman was still shirtless, and he sat on the ground with Dean behind him, in a chair. Seth watched as Dean carefully braided Roman’s hair, threading a few small metal beads into it. Seth smiled as much as he could. He was happy that Dean and Roman had finally admitted their feelings for each other. 

It wasn’t much longer before it was time to head to Roman’s house. Seth recognized a rental car there, and he was happy that Roman’s father and uncle were able to make it. Seth parked and followed his friend into the house, Dean holding Roman’s hand tight, Finn walking silently beside Seth. 

Sika was sitting on the couch, Jimmy and Jey at his sides. They looked inconsolable, and Nia was with her girlfriend, Alexa, speaking quietly to each other. 

Roman’s mother wrapped her arms around her son and they held each other for a long moment. 

“Hi, sweetie.”

“Hey, Mom.”

“How are you feeling? If this is too much, you don’t have to. I know-this is hard for you, I know how hard this is for you.”

Roman sniffed and pulled away from his mother. She noticed Seth and he felt his lips wobble as he hugged her. 

“Seth, honey-”

“I’m so sorry, I-”

“It’s okay, Seth. We’re supposed to feel this today. We need to feel sad so that we can feel happy that we had the time that we did with them.”

Seth had always admired Roman’s mother. She was an amazingly strong, resilient woman, who had raised some of the most amazing people on the planet. She had been everyone’s rock through this, especially Roman’s. Seth cried against her shoulder for a moment; she’d also been like a mother to him, helping raise him, loving him like her own child. She had done more for him than he could ever even think to repay.

Seth pulled away from her, and she left to go sit with the twins. Sika had stood and Seth saw Roman’s face just fall entirely, and it was one of the most heart-breaking things Seth had ever seen. Roman wrapped his arms around Sika and hid his face in his shoulder. 

Seth had been upset when Sika had moved to Samoa with his brother, but he knew why it happened, and he didn’t blame them. But he always felt bad for Roman. Roman loved his father, adored the man, idolized him. Seth still remembered the essay Roman wrote in third grade detailing why Sika was his hero. Seth, Finn, and Dean stood in silence, until Roman pulled away from his dad. He led Sika to them.

“Uh-Dad, you remember Seth.”

“Of course I do.”

Sika pulled Seth into his arms and Seth forgot any negative feelings he might have on Roman’s behalf, and he accepted the hug. 

“This is Finn Balor, Seth’s boyfriend.”

Finn shook Sika’s hand. Roman stood next to Dean, putting a hand on his shoulder, and Seth held his breath. 

“This is Dean Ambrose. My...my boyfriend.”

Seth tensed as Dean stepped forward, and Sika sized him up. Dean didn’t change his expression, and Seth and Roman glanced at each other. 

“It’s nice to meet you, sir. I wish it could have been under happier circumstances. Thank you for allowing me and my friends to be a part of celebrating your son and nephew’s life.”

Seth quietly exhaled and Finn squeezed his hand. Sika and Dean shook hands and Sika nodded at Roman, in approval. Roman reached down and grabbed Dean’s hand in his. 

“C’mon. I’ll introduce you guys to everyone.”

\---

The ride to the graveyard was quiet. Seth drove, and they were all in their usual spots; Finn in the passenger seat, making sure they weren’t getting lost, Roman and Dean in the back. They didn’t play any music, or talk much. The whole world seemed to be quiet, just for today. 

They walked together to the graves, following Roman’s family. Seth could already feel tears welling in his eyes, and he felt Finn squeeze his gloved hand. The graves were simple, and Roman kneeled in front of them, wiping the snow off of the stones. 

“Hey, guys. I missed you. Sorry I haven’t been down much lately.”

The party was silent as Afa and Sika led them in a prayer, singing a song in Samoan as Roman’s mother and aunt laid flowers on the graves. Roman took a deep breath and stepped in front of everyone, the pure black of his clothing standing out in stark contrast to the snowy world around them. 

“Hello, everyone. I want to thank you all for coming today. It-it’s been one year since-since we lost Ed and Rosey. I know we’re all hurting. I know that it hasn’t stopped. It hasn’t for me.”

Seth watched as Roman tilted his head up, letting a few snow flurries fall onto his face, before looking back to the party.

“My brother and cousin...they were amazing. They were so, so full of life, and energy, and love, and I felt that love every single day. They never let me go a day without telling me that they loved me, that I was their brother. I still feel that, even now.”

Seth watched him take a deep breath, struggling with the next words. 

“This day is going to be on my shoulders for the rest of my life. I know that.”

Seth hated that it was literal.

“But the love that my brother and cousin had for everyone here, for all of us, for everyone they ever met, I will have that in my heart for the rest of my life, and that makes the weight easier to bear. I’d like to say a prayer for my brothers.”

Everyone bowed their heads, and Seth wrapped an arm around Finn’s shoulders, letting him muffle the sounds of his crying against him. Finn hadn’t been as close with Ed and Rosey, but he felt things so deeply. 

“God, our Father, I ask that you watch out for my brother and cousin, I know they are safe with You now, and I know that they are happy, watching over us, and I want to thank You for blessing us with them. They were called to You so much sooner than any of us-”

Roman’s voice faltered, and Seth looked up at the sound of movement. Dean had moved to stand next to Roman, holding his hand tight. Seth bowed his head back down. 

“They were called to You very early in their lives, and I won’t say I understand Your will. But I believe that You don’t do anything without a reason, and I believe that You still bless this family, everyone here, with prosperity and love and joy, and though we are all hurting, we are stronger with Your love in our lives. I pray that we can honor our lost family’s lives, that we can live every day with their spirit with us, just as Yours is. Thank You, our Father, amen.”

A chorus of quiet ‘amens’ filled the graveyard for a moment, before everyone filed away. Seth waited with Finn. He knew Roman wanted to stay, and after embracing his father and uncle, Seth, Finn, Dean, and Roman were the only ones left. Roman took a deep breath, and Dean leaned up, kissing him very softly.

Roman kneeled in front of the graves again. 

“Ed, Rosey, you guys remember Seth, yeah? Of course you do, after he got you with Nair in middle school.”

Seth smiled at the memory. 

“And you remember Finn. Ed, you and him always liked watching that movie together.”

Finn’s voice was wet and wavering when he spoke.

“Fiddler on the Roof. He knew all the lines.”

“But-there’s someone here you never met, and….he’s really important to me. This is Dean.”

Dean kneeled next to Roman, and Seth and Finn kneeled on his other side. 

“Hi. I’m sorry I never-I never got to meet you, but I know that I know you, through Roman. Thank you for bringing so much joy to the man I love.”

Seth held Finn close, and they all sat and talked, to each other, to Ed and Rosey until they were shivering from the cold. They piled back into the car, and Seth could see Roman leaning on Dean in the backseat in the rearview mirror. He drove them to a restaurant, a fairly upscale one. Seth had made reservations the night before. He wanted to treat his friends after this. 

Lunch was still fairly somber, but Seth enjoyed the time with his friends. They’d be heading to Roman’s house after this, so he could have time with his family. 

“Thank y’all for coming with me.”

“We wanted to be there for you, Roman.”

Seth smiled at Roman, still unable to summon a full one, and Dean linked his fingers with Roman’s.

They ate quietly and Seth paid the check, before going to Roman’s house. Everyone was sitting and talking and eating. Seth had always loved that about Roman’s family. Roman brightened up when he sat between his dad and Dean, and Seth found a chair to sit in with Finn. 

Soon, family members were leaving, with jobs to attend to or children to get back to. After a while, all that was left were Roman’s household, his father and uncle, and Alexa, Finn, Dean, and Seth. Roman and Dean had shifted to the floor, Dean leaning against the couch while Roman laid his head in his lap. Seth was still concerned about Sika’s reaction to them. Sika wasn’t really homophobic, but Seth knew that Samoa had...not always the greatest attitude towards homosexuality. He thanked God that they were at least accepting of transgender people to a higher degree.

Nia had an arm around Alexa and smiled. 

“I remember when I was in third grade, Ed and Rosey had offered to cut my hair and the twins’ hair, and it was  _ horrible _ .”

“Yeah, and I was the only one who didn’t fall for it, cause I knew those two with scissors was gonna leave someone with some kind of mullet mess.”

The people in the room laughed, and Seth relaxed. There was always a period of mourning, with this family, before they all began telling stories of whoever passed, laughing and celebrating their lives and family. 

“What about the time Roman and them were playing with fireworks in the backyard?”

Seth laughed deep from his stomach. 

“Oh my God, I remember that! Roman burned off his whole left eyebrow!”

“Hey! I didn’t know that it was gonna fly so close to my face!”

Sika shook his head, smiling. 

“You three almost burned the house down.”

“Really, I think it was mostly Roman that almost burned the house down.”

Roman grinned at Seth.

“Why you gotta hate on me, man?”

Alexa laid her head on Nia’s shoulder, curled up against her.

“I remember when Ed helped me with my cheerleading tryouts. He was the only person I trusted to throw me in the air and still catch me.”

“My son always did catch others. He liked to help people, too.”

Afa’s voice was quiet. They calmed for a while, settling into a melancholic, but comfortable silence. Roman led Dean and Finn and Seth to his room, sitting together on the bed. 

“Roman, are you gonna stay here tonight? You know you’re welcome with any of us if you need it.”

Roman nodded.

“I’m gonna stick around here. I wanna hang out with my dad and Uncle Afa before they have to go back.”

“When is your stepdad coming home?”

Roman and Seth both tensed and their eyes met. Seth could see fear there, and he wished that Roman could leave, but he knew that Roman wanted to be there for and with his family. 

“No idea. Hopefully he’ll go stay somewhere for tonight.”

\---

After a few hours, it was time to leave, and Finn hugged Roman as tight as possible, kissing him on the forehead and saying goodbye. Seth knew Roman would want a moment alone with Dean. 

“Hey, can you guys wait in the hall for a minute? I need to talk to Roman alone.”

Finn and Dean went into the hallway, and Seth shut the door behind them. He and Roman sat on the edge of the bed. 

“If he comes home tonight-”

“I know, Seth.”

“I don’t know what he’s gonna do to you, Roman, especially with your dad having been here-”

“I know, I know, I-I can defend myself.”

“But will you?”

Roman was quiet, and Seth looked at his friend. His brother. One of his very favorite people in the entire world. Seth knew he was the only one who knew what Roman’s step-father was really like. He knew that Roman had never even told Dean. Seth had been a witness to it, once, and he’d been terrified to see that Roman-Roman Reigns, his big, strong, amazing friend who would take a bullet for a stranger-shut down, completely defenseless. Seth didn’t want that to ever happen again. 

“Just-will you please, please promise me that if anything happens, you’ll call me? Please?”

Roman nodded. He looked worried, but Seth trusted that he would come to Seth if there was trouble. Seth wrapped his arms around Roman and kissed his cheek, nuzzling his face and closing his eyes. Roman’s hand came up and he held onto Seth’s arm, taking a few shaky breaths.

“I love you, Seth. You’re my brother, I love you so much, I-I really needed you here today.”

“I’m always gonna be here for you. Always, no matter what. Always. I love you, brother.”

Seth held Roman for a moment before standing up to send Dean in. Seth was tired. Today had exhausted him. 

“Love?”

Seth looked at Finn, and smiled. There was always a silver lining. There was always Finn.

“Yeah?”

“Are you alright? Do you need anything?”

Seth gestured for Finn to come closer, and Finn stepped into his arms. Seth sighed, cupping Finn’s face in one hand. 

“I could go for a kiss.”

Finn blushed, but leaned in and pressed a gentle, closed-mouth kiss to Seth’s lips. 

“Love, is Roman going to be okay?”

Seth sighed. 

“I don’t know, honestly.”

“Should someone stay with him?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. I….I personally need to take some time to have some self-care, and I think Roman does too. It’s just...not always easy for him to do that here. Maybe it’ll be easier with Sika and Afa here. They always helped Roman.”

Finn and Seth leaned on each other until Roman and Dean came out of the bedroom. They were holding hands tight, and Dean was blushing. 

“Uh. I’m gonna stick around for a bit.”

Seth and Finn nodded, and Roman and Dean walked them to the car. Seth wasn’t mad that Roman had asked Dean to stay and not him; Roman and Seth were very aware of each other’s needs and how they changed in certain situations. Roman knew that being around the subject of death was overwhelming for Seth, and being around his stepfather was, too. Seth knew that Roman needed a different sort of love tonight, one that, as much as Seth truly did love his brother, he couldn’t provide. Dean could provide it, though, and Seth was so extremely grateful for the fact that Roman had someone who could. 

Seth turned on the radio, the soft sounds of some random pop song filling the car. He looked down when he felt Finn’s hand on his thigh. 

“Hey, we’ve talked about that, no fooling around while I’m driving.”

Finn laughed and poked Seth in the thigh. 

“Hush. I’m not feeling that tonight. I just wanted to touch you, love.”

“You wanna come home with me tonight?”

“Do you want me to?”

Seth considered it. He always felt better with Finn around. They could not talk for hours while Seth took care of himself, confident in the knowledge that Finn was with him through it. Seth nodded.

“Yeah, I do. Might not be my usual effervescent self.”

“That’s more than alright, my love.”

Finn called his father, letting him know where he’d be. Seth always felt proud knowing that he was one of the few people who Finn’s parents trusted, despite his history of...foolishness. He drove them to his home, walking through the piled up snow on the lawn, hand-in-hand. 


	9. An Interlude In The Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeff hardy worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all i have been literally LOSING MY DAMN MIND waiting for a time to put this chapter in and i swear i have had this in my head from the START so here it is

 

Jeff tossed and turned in bed. He couldn’t stop his thoughts from running rampant. He supposed he could get up and paint, but it was a school night, and he didn’t like having to down a five hour energy every two hours during the school day. He laid on his back and huffed. He turned to face the warmth of the body he shared a bed with, and he didn’t hesitate to flop on his sleeping husband, draping himself over his body. 

He heard Mark sigh.

“Jeff, go to sleep.”

“I can’t turn my brain off.”

Mark sighed again, but Jeff could hear the smile in it. Mark shifted to lay on his back while Jeff sat up. 

“What’s going on?”

“I guess….I don’t know, I’m just thinking about a few of my students, and...I guess I’m worried.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It-there’s one kid in particular, Dean, he’s-man, he’s a hell of a guitarist, and he’s smart as a whip, sharp as a damn tack. But-he’s gotten into trouble sometimes.”

“Dean? Roman’s boyfriend?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess you would know by now. Yeah, that’s him.”

“Roman’s mentioned his gettin’ into fights.”

“He fought that goddamn Lesnar kid, Mark, with no hesitation from what I heard. And according to Finn, that’s not the first time.”

“So you’re worried he’s gonna get into trouble because of fighting, and that he’s gonna end up expelled?”

“Yes! I’m just-he’s such a good kid, and his mom is the fuckin’ bomb, baby. You met her once, at that party Matt had?”

“Oh, the redhead.”

“Yeah. She’s told me she’s worried about him too, that he’s gotten better with fighting, but…”

“But like hell the Lesnar's are gonna stop what they’re doing and goading him into it.”

Jeff was silent for a moment.

“Jeff?”

“I hadn’t thought about that. That...maybe that kid is pissin’ Dean off on purpose at this point. I really am worried about his safety, but also…”

“Go on, cherry pie.”

“The kid feels so damn much, you know? He just-he has so much fight in ‘im, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing, but I think he needs a better outlet for it. He says he’s not much into sports though.”

Jeff turned his head to look at Mark. He was rubbing his fingers over the short stubble on his chin, and Jeff smiled. His husband had such cute little habits. 

“What’re you thinking, deadman?”

“Do you think he’d be interested in learning how to fight for real?”

“You interested in teaching him?”

“Could be. ‘d have to see him first.”

“Well….maybe I can give ‘im your card?”

“Sure thing, cherry pie.”

Jeff laid back down, wrapping his arms around his husband’s thick, muscular waist. He grabbed Mark's wrist, kissing the little tattoo there; it was a design Jeff had drawn up the first night they met, and it was their wedding bands, inscribed on both their wrists. Mark kissed his in return, and Jeff smiled.

“Thank you.”

“Brain turned off a little bit?”

“Not entirely.”

Jeff grinned and kissed at Mark’s neck, rubbing his hand over the hard muscles of Mark’s abdomen.

“But I think somethin’ else could get turned on…”

He could make out his husband’s eyebrow raising in the dark of the room. 

“I suppose I could stay up a bit longer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeff/taker....is one of the cutest ships.....i will never give up on it


	10. The Future Freaks Me Out, By Motion City Soundtrack, or: A Series of Nice Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter, but a happy one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is....messy and not the best but i think it's cute and it's mostly just finn and seth being lovey dovey and i think that's great content so

Finn laughed, twirling back into Roman’s arms. The Samoan was smiling, and it made Finn feel good. He liked when his friend was happy. 

They were suit shopping, all four of them, and Seth was in the fitting room with Dean. Evidently, Dean had never owned or worn a suit, and Seth had sighed and taken him by the hand to tour the store. Finn liked this tailor, he was a nice older man and he made all of Hunter’s suits, which were always very attractive. Finn hadn’t thought there was a need for all of them to get new suits for the winter formal, but Seth insisted. 

Finn had opted for an icy blue one, a white shirt and a grey tie, knowing that Seth was going to buy him some ridiculous corsage. Again. Roman had stuck to a classic fully black tux, and Finn had to admit, the all-black ensemble really did look phenomenal on him, especially with his hair braided back. Finn had never once seen Roman wear braids until Dean came along, and now it was the norm, with a few beads threaded into his long hair too. 

They were messing around and dancing in their new suits, having fun, talking about their plans for the formal. It was the night before winter break started, and Finn was terribly excited. Seth and Hunter and Shawn were coming with his family to Ireland for the holidays, and then they’d be going to a few other countries during the break. He’d been on a big trip with Seth before, the previous summer, and it had been unbelievable. Finn couldn’t be more excited to spend the holidays with his love. 

Seth stepped out of the fitting room, in his own new suit-all white, with the same grey tie Finn had on.

“Wow, love. You look fantastic.”

Seth checked himself out in the mirror, smoothing his hair back. 

“Not as good as Dean does. He cleans up nice.”

“I’m not coming out in this, Seth.”

Seth rolled his eyes, and Finn and Roman shared a worried glance.

“Come on! You look amazing, and I know you like the damn thing! Don’t you wanna show Roman?”

Finn giggled behind his hand. That was just  _ mean _ of Seth. He heard a sigh from the dressing room, and his jaw dropped when Dean stepped out. 

He  _ did _ clean up nice. Dean had on a patterned, deep red jacket with black lapels, a white shirt and tight black pants. Everything was very modern and very attractive, especially with Dean’s standard boots. Finn turned his head to look at Roman to see his reaction, and smirked. Roman was blushing about as much as Finn had ever seen him, and his eyes were wide, pupils a little dilated.

“Oh. Dean, I.. _ wow _ .”

Dean blushed, and Roman walked up to him, gently running his fingers over the material of his jacket, tracing the subtle floral pattern.

“You look...this is perfect for you.”

Finn felt Seth’s arms go around his middle. 

“C’mon, let’s go change. I think Roman needs a minute to clean up his drool.”

Finn giggled and followed Seth to where their regular clothes were, Roman calling out indignantly after them.

\---

Finn sighed, checking the time on his phone again. He still couldn’t believe Seth had sprung for a limo. His boyfriend was ridiculous sometimes, but it all came from a good place. HIs house was last on the route, which didn’t bother him. Finn was okay with waiting on his friends and boyfriend. 

He’d put on a little eyeliner for the dance, too, and grabbed his leather jacket. He liked the way it looked over his suit. 

There was a honk outside, and Finn looked out the living room window just as Dean stuck the top half of his body out of the sunroof. 

“Hey! Finn, get out here! Come help me convince these squares to skip the formal so we can go tailgate!”

Finn rolled his eyes and said goodbye to his parents. Dean was cute, and the redhead grinned when he saw Finn approaching. 

“Maybe next time, we can tailgate, as you say.”

“Aw, traitor.”

Finn got into the limo, sliding in next to Seth. Dean got back in and shook some snow out of his hair, sitting next to Roman. Finn saw Roman grabbing Dean’s hands and holding them between his own, warming them. Seth leaned in and kissed at Finn’s neck, over the collar of his jacket. 

“You look amazing, prince.”

Seth pinned the corsage around Finn’s wrist-it was lovely, blue and white and thankfully not terribly ostentatious. The ride to the banquet hall was fun, and watching Roman try to keep Dean’s entire body actually inside of the vehicle was a blast. Finn couldn’t help but laugh when Roman’s solution ended up being holding a blushing Dean on his lap. Dean didn’t seem to mind, though, and Seth seemed to be inspired, pulling Finn onto his own lap. 

Seth led all of them into the hall, and they spotted Becky and Charlotte. The redhead saw Finn and yelled. 

“FINN! I’VE GOT NEWS!”

Finn caught Becky in his arms after she ran up to him, hugging him tight. 

“What-what’s happened?”

“Dad is pregnant!”

Finn’s jaw dropped. 

“What? Really? That’s wonderful!”

Finn brought his friend in for another hug. He and Becky had been close for years; they’d known each other in Ireland, and her family had moved to town after his. He adored her, and she’d always been like a sister to him, and her fathers were as much family as she. Seth hugged Becky next-they’d bonded over their love of flame decals on things-and smiled, squeezing her tight. 

“That really is great to hear, Beck.”

Roman and Dean both hugged her as well, before Roman and Charlotte hugged. Roman was happy, which didn’t surprise Finn in the least; he was more family-oriented than just about anyone in the city.

“How far along is he?”

“Two and a half months. Gosh, I’m so excited! I’ve always wanted a little sibling!”

The six of them found a table to sit at, Seth, Roman, and Becky all going to get food. Charlotte pulled out a compact, checking her hair. 

“So what are your plans for the break?”

“Dunno. Gonna stick around here, vandalize some shit or something.”

Charlotte laughed her graceful laugh at Dean’s response. Even at seventeen years old, Charlotte had as much grace and poise as a queen. Finn found it inspiring. 

“Seth and his family are coming with us to Ireland, and then we’re gonna travel. Oh-Charlotte, we’ve got to start discussing plans for June.”

“Ugh, yes, I guess we do.”

Dean looked up from his phone.

“What’s going on in June?”

“Oh, honey, it’s pride month! The GSA-ugh, I hate that name-we always try and make our presence known there. Actually, Dean, I think Finn had something to ask you about that.”

Finn blushed, he didn’t like being put on the spot, but he looked at Dean. Dean’s face was curious, but still fairly flat. He didn’t like to emote a lot. Finn took a deep breath.

“Well….I was wondering if you’d like to join the GSA, and….maybe help during pride month? It’s alright if you don’t want to, but I’ve wanted to ask for a while, but I also didn’t want to-you know, spring it on you. But I’d like your input. I know you know how to make things fun.”

“I do bring the party.”

Finn and Charlotte both laughed; Dean was charming, in a sort of blunt way. 

“I guess-I don’t think I can really do that much for you guys, but….I guess I can tag along to meetings, and stuff.”

Finn grinned and so did Charlotte, and they began discussing their various plans and how to encourage volunteer sign-ups when their various partners returned with food. Seth pulled Finn close, hand-feeding him the small pieces of food. Finn blushed and giggled all through it, occasionally leaning in to kiss Seth. Charlotte and Becky excused themselves to go mingle, and Roman smiled shyly at Dean.

“Dean? Would you like to dance?”

Dean nodded and let Roman lead him to the floor, where various other people were slow-dancing. Finn moved to sit in Seth’s lap again, watching their friends. 

“Dean is quite light on his feet.”

“Mmhm. Kid’s got moves.”

Finn turned his head, looking at his boyfriend. He cupped Seth’s face; Seth really was just about the most handsome boy Finn had ever seen. His strong brow and dark features, his adorable nose. Finn couldn’t get enough of Seth’s nose. Finn leaned in and kissed the tip of it, nuzzling Seth’s cheek, feeling the warmth of a blush there. 

“You ready for the trip, prince?”

“Mmm. Yes. I’m really happy you’re coming with me.”

“You know I like your family. And hey, we still have Hunter’s holiday party before that.”

“Oh, Lord, we do. How fancy must we dress for that, again?”

“Well, I’m pretty sure Dean is gonna show up without a shirt, so….semi-formal? Business casual?”

Finn tossed his head back and laughed, catching a glimpse of Brock glaring at them. He ignored it, for the moment. This was a happy night. 

Finn stood and stretched, holding his hand out to Seth. 

“Dance with me?”

Seth stood and gently kissed Finn’s hand, pressing it to his cheek. 

“Every night, for the rest of my life.”

\---

“Roman!”

Finn ran up to the Samoan, throwing his arms around him. Roman made a small ‘huff’ at the impact, but returned the gesture nonetheless. Finn kissed him on the cheek and smiled at the scent of a new cologne.

“Hey, man.”

“Where’s Dean?”

“He’s coming with his mom.”

“C’mon. Seth is regaling Hunter’s friends with a story right now, let’s get something to drink.”

Seth was a phenomenal talker, and he loved to do it in front of Hunter’s business acquaintances. Hunter didn’t mind, either, he said it gave him a ‘family man’ quality that appealed to business partners. Finn always thought that was funny, to phrase it that way, as if Hunter wasn’t already a family man. 

Shawn was getting water at the end of the buffet table, and he smiled at the two boys.

“Howdy.”

“Hey.”

“Where’s the boyfriend?”

“Coming in a bit. I think Lita wanted to get dressed up.”

Finn stayed with Shawn and Roman until Roman got a text and went down to the front to fetch his boyfriend and Lita. Finn was happy to have a moment with Shawn. He’d always liked the man, and they’d bonded over the years. They had a lot in common; some things negative, most positive. And they always found time to dish about their boyfriends. 

Shawn wrapped an arm around Finn’s shoulders. 

“Lookin’ forward to seeing your family?”

“Oh, absolutely. And I’m sure you’re looking forward to the New Year’s hunt.”

Shawn shrugged and smiled, leading Finn into the main room again. Seth was acting...something or other out, and Finn took a seat next to Ric. He enjoyed the old man’s company. Ever since Charlotte had come out, Ric had been a staunch advocate of the queer community; it was nice not only because Ric was just about the most heterosexual man on the planet, and it was always good to have allies in that group, but simply because it was good to have her father’s support. 

Finn also enjoyed the way the man talked and told stories. It was no question where Charlotte got, well, her flair from. 

Roman returned soon, with Dean in tow and Lita behind them. Finn had to admit, she made a hell of a sight; she was wearing a suit, but cut to show off her curves and chest. Finn noticed her getting quite a few appreciative looks, while Dean pouted. 

Well, Dean only pouted until Roman leaned down and kissed him. 

Finn blinked as Seth sat next to him, wrapping his arm around Finn’s waist. Seth leaned in a pecked Finn’s cheek, listening to Hunter talk about how grateful he was for their business and going on a whole speech about family and whatnot. Finn didn’t really listen-as much as he loved and adored Hunter, the man really could go on-instead leaning his head on Seth’s shoulder, closing his eyes. He was tired, and they had to get on a plane in two days, and he wanted to spend time alone with his boyfriend and their friends before they had to leave. 

Roman waved them over at one point, and Seth led Finn by the hand to where the Samoan and Dean stood, Dean pouting once again.

“You guys got plans after this?”

“Nah, was just gonna head home. Finn’s staying with me until our flight. But, hey, I do have stuff for both of you, so if you wanna come over, too, I’d love that.”

“God, more gifts?”

Finn laughed at Dean’s response, muffled by a mouthful of food as it was. 

“Hush, you got stuff for them, too.”

Finn perked up at that.

“Dean, did you get us gifts?”

A blush rose to his friend’s pale cheeks and he shrugged, quickly eating another cookie to avoid answering. 

“Well, it seems we all got things for each other. Maybe we can leave a bit early? Would Hunter be okay with that?”

Seth nodded, smiling and kissing Finn sweetly for a moment. 

“Yeah, but-actually, Finn, can you come with me for a minute?”

Finn shrugged at Roman and Dean before following Seth. He led them up to the top floor of the building, to Hunter’s office. He left most of the lights off, most of the illumination coming from the wide, floor-to-ceiling windows on one wall, the city beyond it still covered in a layer of snow. It gave an otherworldly quality to the room, between the silence and the low light. Finn loved winter. It was such a beautiful season. 

He and Seth stood next to each other at the window, watching the city below them.

“I can’t believe I’m gonna run this place someday.”

Finn laughed quietly, turning to look at Seth. 

“I can. You’ll do wonderfully, too. You’ll be absolutely brilliant, darling, and I can’t wait to be right beside you, watching.”

Seth looked at him, and Finn saw such love in his eyes that he had to breath, a pleasant feeling arising in his chest. A sort of excited calm. Seth turned to him fully, grabbing both of his hands. 

“Finn, I wanted to give you this here, cause….whenever I’m here, I think about my future. I think about running this company, I think about going to college, I think about-God, about buying a house and complaining about the granite in the kitchen. And whenever I think about my future….you are always there. Every single time.”

Finn smiled, blushing and enjoying the feeling of his hands in Seth’s.

“I-Finn, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I know we’re in high school and people say that relationships in high school never last, and that we’re too young to know anything for certain about our futures, but-you are the only thing in my life that I have ever, ever been this sure about, and if I’m wrong about that, then-I don’t know what to do. But I know I’m right. I know it.”

Seth released Finn’s hands and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small, deep green velvet box. Finn’s eyes widened. 

“Finn, we’re too young to get married, I know that, but….one day we’re gonna. And until then, I thought-I thought that we could still show that we are sure about each other.”

Seth opened the box, kneeling on one knee. It was a beautiful set of matching rings, bright metal with one diamond and two emeralds. They were fairly simple, but still stunning, and Finn looked into Seth’s eyes. 

“I figure they’re kind of like promise rings, but, you know….not weird.”

Finn let out a choked laugh. 

“Seth-I-I love you, so, so much, and to hell with what anyone says about us not knowing our futures, they can fuck off, I’m gonna be your husband one day and I really need you to put this ring on me before I start crying-”

Seth laughed and took one of the rings out, slipping it onto Finn’s finger, and Finn did the same with the other. He wrapped his arms around Seth’s shoulders tight, pressing his face to Seth’s neck. Finn couldn’t make himself let go for a while, and he did cry a bit. He just loved Seth so much, his sweet, amazing, future husband. 

“I love you so much, Seth-I love you-”

“I love you too, Finn. God, I love you so much, someday you’re gonna be Finn Rollins, God-”

Finn took a ragged breath and pulled back just enough to press his lips to Seth’s, kissing him over and over and over. Seth pressed their foreheads together, noses bumping, and he brought a hand up to wipe at Finn’s tears.

“Come on. Let’s go home, prince.”

Seth led Finn back down, and Finn looked at the rings on both of their fingers. He almost couldn’t believe they were real, that Seth had essentially promised himself to Finn and only Finn. He loved Seth so much. That was the only thought that ran through his head, even as they reached Dean and Roman. 

“Hey guys. Y’all ready to go?”

“Yeah, let me call a car.”

“Whoa, whoa, wait up, we’re not ignoring those big rocks, are we?”

Finn blushed and held up his hand, letting Dean and Roman look at his ring, and Seth did the same. Roman and Dean both whistled. 

“So….got any big news to tell us?”

“It’s not an engagement, it’s….kind of a pre-engagement.”

“That’s still...that’s still pretty big, dude.”

Roman pulled Seth close and they held each other for a moment, and Dean looked at Finn, shrugged, and opened his arms. Finn laughed and wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist, inhaling the scent of leather and metal and just a touch of something else. They switched after a moment and Roman hugged him tight, pulling back and smiling. He was always so happy for his friends, Finn loved it. 

“If it’s okay, could we pray?”

They all joined hands and bowed their heads. It wasn’t uncommon for Roman to lead them in prayer after something important or fun or before dinner; Roman and Finn were both Catholic, and Dean was...whatever Dean is, and Seth was undecided, but they all loved and appreciated the gesture. 

“God in Heaven, thank You for blessing Seth and Finn with the love that You have. I have never seen two people more meant for one another, I have never seen two people more in love, and I know You gave them that love to brighten the world. Thank You, gracious God, for allowing all of us to feel such a deep, powerful love for our brothers, and thank you, Finn and Seth, for letting us be a part of celebrating your love. Thank You, amen.”

“Amen.”

Seth hugged Roman again, tight, and Finn felt warm at that, knowing that one day Roman would be standing at Seth’s side at the altar. 

“That was beautiful, thank you, Rome.”

“I say we go fuckin’ party, let’s celebrate the future Mr. and Mr. Rollins!”


	11. And The Merry Bells Keep Ringing (a christmas chapter in may)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> christmas with dean and roman!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoo boy. this is a long one and there are probably some mistakes throughout, but, hey. it's did.

Dean groaned and pressed his face into his pillow, reaching around on his bed for his phone. It had somehow ended up under his thigh, and he squinted at the bright screen in the dark. Roman had texted him, and Dean wondered why Roman was up so early. 

Until he looked at the clock and saw that it was almost one in the afternoon. 

Dean sighed and rolled onto his back, opening the conversation with Roman. 

‘ _ hey, you wanna hang out today? need to ask you something _ ’

Dean wondered why Roman wouldn’t have just asked him over the phone. He still, even after knowing Roman for a while, wasn’t used to people who preferred to actually be around Dean in person. It was weird. But...really, really nice. Roman was just nice. 

Dean smiled at the thought of his boyfriend-his boyfriend, he still couldn’t believe they were really together-and shot back a response. His phone went off again in a few minutes. 

‘ _ see you in a bit. love you, baby _ ’

Dean grinned and blushed, sending back a ‘love you too’ message before rolling back over. 

\---

“Dean! Wake up, Roman’s here!”

Dean heard his mom through the door and shuffled out of his room, wiping his hands over his eyes and walking right into Roman’s arms. He sighed and wrapped his arms around Roman’s waist, pressing his face against Roman’s warm, broad chest. He felt Roman laugh.

“Hey, baby. You okay?”

“He’s fine, he just doesn’t like winter much.”

“No, I don’t like winter in places where it snows. I liked winter in Piedras Negras just fine.”

He felt his mom ruffle his hair, and Roman kissed his head and reached down, lifting Dean into his arms and carrying him back to his bedroom. Dean blushed, but didn’t argue the action or complain. He didn’t really mind being carried like that, not by Roman, at least. Roman kicked his door shut behind them and laid on the bed with Dean, smiling and pulling him close. 

Dean nuzzled Roman’s neck and kissed the warm skin there, licking at it a little. 

“Fuck, Dean-hey, hold up, hold on. I need to ask you something. Might help with your mood, too, since you don’t like the weather here.”

“Hm?”

Dean looked up at Roman, smiling at the bead still braided into his hair. 

“Well….me and my family, we’re all going to Asau for Christmas, and for kind of a family reunion, and we do it every year.”

Dean felt a little deflated at that. He’d been hoping to have at least Roman still here during the break, but he would never ask Roman to give up time with his family just for him. 

“Oh, that...sounds cool.”

“Yeah, it is, but…..I think you coming with me would be even cooler.”

Dean sat up, looking down at Roman.

“I-what?”

Roman sat up, cross-legged and a little too big for the bed. 

“My mom wants you and your mom to come with us. And….I really, really want you to, too.”

“Oh.”

Roman frowned, eyes casting downward.

“I-if you have plans or something, though, you don’t-I should’ve asked earlier, sorry-”

“No! No, I-I mean, Eddie and Chris had to rush down to Texas cause of a family emergency-and me and Mom didn’t have any plans, but-that’s-I’ve never been on a plane or anything before-”

“It’s not as bad as you might think, and trust me, it’s pretty much just gonna be all of the family in this town on the flight.”

“What if there’s no room left?”

Roman blushed, averting his eyes.

“Uh….I...actually bought you and your mom’s ticket when we got all of them.”

Dean blinked.

“When did you guys buy them?”

“.....October…”

Dean was silent, and felt warmth blossom in his chest. He crawled forward until he was straddling Roman’s hips, cupping his face and making Roman look up at him.

“You’ve been planning on me coming with you for two months?”

Roman shrugged, smiling a little.

“I was pretty sure about what I wanted.”

Dean leaned down and kissed Roman, moaning against his soft, plush lips, rocking his hips when Roman gripped his sides. Roman pulled back after a moment, staring at Dean’s lips.

“Is-is that a yes?”

“I need to talk to Mom first. Come with me?”

Roman nodded, looking at Dean’s lips again. 

“Yeah, but...let’s maybe keep doing that a little more, baby.”

Dean let Roman push him onto his back, laying over him, pressing their lips together as Roman’s hair fell around them like a curtain.

\---

Lita stared at both boys from across the table. Her face was carefully impassive, and Roman and Dean were both tense with excitement and hope and anxiety. 

“Alright. We’ll go. Everyone has a bunch of time off since Hunter is on vacation, so we can go.”

Dean jumped out of his seat, yelling out joyfully. Roman hugged Lita tight, thanking her quietly. Dean heard his mom thanking Roman, too, and he jumped into Roman’s arms, wrapping his legs around Roman’s waist. He really was excited, and a little anxious, but mostly excited. He was going to get to spend the holiday with his amazing boyfriend and his family and his own mother and it would be somewhere warm, thank God. Dean kissed Roman and heard his mom laugh. 

“So when do we leave and come back?”

Roman broke away from Dean’s lips and blushed, but didn’t set Dean down.

“Oh-the flight is on the eighteenth, and we come back on the third.”

“Wow. We’ll be there for that long?”

Roman turned back to face Dean, smiling softly and sweetly, and Dean had to lean in and kiss him again. 

“I wanna show you where I’m from. Thoroughly.”

Dean unwrapped his legs from around Roman’s waist and grabbed his hand. 

“Come on. You can tell me what to pack.”

Roman followed him to his room, pulling Dean back into his arms once the door was shut. He wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist, leaning down and pressing his lips to his, and Dean moaned, fingers tangling in Roman’s hair. 

“Mm-fuck, Ro-I meant that seriously-”

Roman grinned-God, no one should be  _ that _ handsome-and went to Dean’s closet. 

“Let me see what all you have.”

“Look around in the left side, that’s where I keep my clothes for when it’s warmer.”

He could hear the disdain in his own voice, and Roman laughed. 

“You really hate the cold, huh? You okay with humidity?”

“Yeah, that’s not as bad. In Piedras Negras we’d get the shit from hurricanes sometimes, so like, I’m pretty used to it.”

Roman started sifting through Dean’s clothes, picking out things that would work. Dean laid on his front and watched him, resting his chin on his hands and kicking his feet up behind him. Roman paused, and Dean could see him tilt his head.

“Ro?”

“Uh-Dean, did some of your mom’s clothes get mixed in with yours?”

“What d’you mean?”

Roman turned and held up a skirt-a short black affair that didn’t cover much-and Dean sat up, blushing. 

“Oh.”

Roman grinned. 

“Or does this belong to an old flame?”

Dean blushed deeper and fidgeted with the watch on his wrist. 

“Uh...no, not exactly. That’s mine.”

He didn’t look at Roman, he couldn’t bring himself too. He’d had more friends that hadn’t been okay with that part of him than he’d had ones that were. Roman was quiet for a few moments and Dean finally mustered up the courage to glance at him. He was smiling and running his hands over the cloth.

“It’s pretty. Why’ve you never worn anything like this around me?”

“Uh. Fear, mostly.”

Roman’s head shot up  _ fast _ at that, and he stood, coming to sit in front of Dean on the bed, gently grabbing his hands. He gently rubbed his thumb over Dean’s fingers, and it did a good job of soothing Dean. Roman was always so calming. 

“Hey, you don’t ever have to be afraid with me or of me. I’d never-Dean, come on. You know I’d never be-like that.”

Dean shrugged.

“I mean-I know that now, yeah-but can you blame me for not wanting to be like ‘hey guys I’m also not really a dude all the time’ right when we first met?”

Roman was still frowning, clearly upset at the situation and at the fact that Dean had ever felt unsafe around him. Dean sighed. Roman was too sweet for his own good sometimes.

“Roman, it’s not your fault. I’ve been around a lot of people who-I’ve gotten a lot of shit for it. I didn’t want to risk that here, so I just...hid it. I expressed that part of myself at home, or places I knew I could. That’s what I have to do sometimes.”

“But you shouldn’t have to.”

Dean smiled, a little half-heartedly, and cupped Roman’s face with one hand. The Samoan looked at him, brown eyes big and sad and God, he was even handsome when he was upset. Totally unfair. 

“I know that. But you know just as well as I do how people can be.”

“I-I know, but...I just want you to be happy, Dean, and-hiding any part of yourself can’t really help with that, I wouldn’t think.”

Dean sighed again, moving to sit in Roman’s lap. He pulled Roman close and kissed him, one hand tangled in his hair. He pulled away and pressed a kiss to the bridge of Roman’s nose. 

“You’re really okay with it?”

Roman blinked at him, tilting his head again.

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You never know how someone’s gonna react to someone being trans or nonbinary.”

Roman held him tight around the waist, leaning in to kiss at Dean’s jaw.

“That makes sense. I mean….I won’t name names, but I have a couple of trans family members. I’ve known them my whole life and known what-like, what that meant and everything, so it’s just...never been unusual to me? In Samoan culture, stuff like that is-there’s a long history there. And...I mean...it’s not like I’ve never questioned it.”

Dean was surprised at that. 

“So….are you-”

Roman laughed at himself a little, blushing.

“Well-I haven’t been able to really think about it as much as I’d like to, cause I think it’s good to explore, but-the last couple of years have been...kinda busy. But-I mean, are you okay telling me-do you have words you use for your gender, or?”

Dean sighed-God, he sighed a lot-and rolled his shoulders, the tension slowly fading from his joints.

“Not...really, I guess? I never found one that works, but like. I don’t know. Mom never made a big deal out of gender and what I could wear and all that. I was raised to be whatever the hell I want, you know?”

Roman grinned and kissed Dean’s chin.

“Yeah, I got the impression.”

Dean rolled his eyes and let Roman shift him a little on his lap.

“I guess...I don’t know. I’ve always used ‘he’ pronouns. I’m okay with my name. I just….I’m not always a guy. I guess I’m-not really anything? I don’t feel like I’m a girl, but I...I don’t know, I guess I prefer to be feminine sometimes. I just like what I like, you know?”

Roman hummed, turning Dean until his back was pressed against Roman’s chest. Roman rested his chin on Dean’s shoulder, nuzzling his hair; it’d grown out to the bottom of his neck, and he knew Roman liked it. 

“Yeah, that seems like the ‘you’ thing to do, baby.”

Dean settled, finally relaxed. Roman’s arms were around him again, and Roman was lightly rubbing his stomach. It felt so nice and gentle and warm, and that was probably the easiest it ever had been to come out to someone, in Dean’s experience. 

“So….you wanna put that little skirt on for me?”

Dean laughed and swatted at Roman’s hands, turning around and straddling him.

“Hmm..maybe. Gonna make it worth my while?”

“Damn right I am, baby.”

\---

Dean almost dropped to his knees and kissed the sweet, solid, unmoving ground. The only reason he didn’t is because he wanted to make a good first impression on everyone here. 

The flight had been...long. More than a day of flying, and transfers, and Dean  _ never _ wanted to fly again. The only saving grace had been sitting next to Roman, and, he supposed, that the flight was almost entirely Roman’s family. It made the flight more fun, that was for sure. At one point they’d all broken into song, even Roman. It made Dean really, really happy to see his boyfriend having so much fun. Even Roman’s step-father was having a good time. 

Dean was happy his mom was having a good time, too. He would do anything to make his mom happy. 

She was right behind him, smiling and soaking in the sun and warmth. 

“Oh my God, this feels amazing.”

“I know, fuck, I missed warmth so bad, snow is the  _ devil _ .”

Roman laughed and helped his family load luggage into a car. They were going to his father’s house, where they would be staying. Everyone would be split between various family members’ homes, and Roman had insisted on staying with his dad. Dean could understand why; over the past few months, Dean had learned how important Roman’s relationship with his father was. The man was Roman’s hero, and Roman talked to him as much as possible given that they lived so far away from one another. 

Dean blushed as Roman grabbed his hand and led him to the car-one of a convoy of vans and cars-that would take him to the house. Dean and Lita both stared out the window on the ride. Samoa was beautiful, the city of Asau was stunning. Roman explained what they passed by, pointing out places they should check out while here. Dean was just...enamored. This country was stunning, and he couldn’t help but feel like it felt right. To be here, to be here with Roman. 

Roman became noticeably more excited the closer they got to the house, and he was the first out of the car when they got there. It almost hadn’t stopped moving before Roman was shoving the door open, running out to greet his father. Dean smiled, watching his boyfriend.

“Dad!”

Roman jumped into his dad’s arms, the older man easily catching his son. Dean turned away, climbing out of the van to help unload everything. Lita hugged him with one arm, and he returned it. She kissed the side of his head and ruffled his hair. 

“You feeling okay?”

“Yeah. Just….this is a lot.”

Lita sighed and looked around.

“It really is.”

They helped carry the various bags inside, following Sika around, listening to him explaining where everything was. Along with them and Roman, Roman’s mother, step-father, and sister were staying in Sika’s house. Roman and Dean were sharing a room-evidently it was Roman’s bedroom, for whenever he was there. Dean thought that was sweet, that Sika kept rooms for his children all these thousands of miles away. Lita was staying in the same room as Nia, which was-to Dean and Lita’s surprise-Nia’s idea. 

Of course, then it occurred to Dean that Nia probably had a tiny crush on his mom. He should stop being surprised by that happening.

Roman pulled him into his bedroom, laughing and pulling Dean close. Dean wrapped his arms around Roman, grinning and spinning him, into a dip. Roman held on tight and let out a shocked little laugh.

“How romantic. Gonna do that when we’re on the beach?”

“Of course. Gotta get us some kodak moments.”

Roman stood and stretched, Dean appreciating the movement. He flopped down onto the bed, and he felt weight settle beside him. He turned his head to look at Roman, his boyfriend, who he was on a trip to Samoa with. It was still a little unbelievable. Dean leaned forward and bumped his nose against Roman’s, smiling at the ensuing laughter. He shifted until he was laying half on top of his boyfriend, leaning down to kiss his lips, his nose, his chin. Roman blushed, eyes half-lidded and dark. 

“I’m so happy you’re here with me. I swear, I forget about-everything, when you’re with me.”

Dean grinned and felt his cheeks heat up, pressing his lips to Roman’s, tugging at the tight athletic shirt Roman wore. He laughed into the kiss and reached up, tugging at the high neck of it.

“What is up with this shirt, dude, it’s like an athletic turtleneck-”

Roman’s hand shot up and pulled Dean’s away, grip tight on his wrist. It was an odd reaction, for Roman. Dean knew Roman was sometimes uncomfortable with being shirtless, but he’d never been worried about it around Dean. It was a little worrying, and Dean frowned.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. I don’t want you to get mad or anything while we’re here, this...this is supposed to be a good trip for us.”

Dean frowned harder.

“So there’s something to get mad about?”

“Dean, cut it out, just-fuckin’ ignore it, God-”

“Hey. I’m not trying to start a fight, Roman, I’m fucking worried, okay? I’m not mad, I’m worried.”

Roman sighed and sat up, Dean moving off of him. Roman sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from him. His shoulders were hunched over, Dean recognized it as the posture Roman took when he was feeling insecure or hurt; Roman always stood so tall against everything, it still struck Dean to see just how small he could make himself. He shifted until he was sitting next to Roman. 

“Rome? I’m...I’m really not mad, or anything, and I didn’t want to upset you. I love you, and….you saying that, it-I’ve heard stuff like that before from people who had bad shit going on.”

Roman ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep, shuddering breath. He stood, walking over to his bedroom door and locking it. He came back to the bed, and turned to Dean. 

“You have to promise me, promise me right fucking now, that you won’t go do anything, you won’t-you won’t get violent, you’ll stay right here in this fucking room with me.”

Dean swallowed. 

“I promise. I’ll do my best not to...react like me.”

“No, Dean, not ‘try’, you have to stay in this room. Hit something in here if you have to. And I’m not mad at you for reacting to things that way, you know I admire that about you, but-not here. Not now.”

Dean nodded. 

“Okay. I promise. I promise.”

Roman took another shaky breath before quickly-almost like he was trying to do it so fast that he couldn’t change his mind-pulling his shirt off. Dean was almost distracted by the tattoo and beautiful expanse of tanned skin, until he saw a ring of fading bruises around his neck and collarbone. Bruises shaped like fingerprints. 

Dean pulled off his own tshirt, taking a deep breath and ripping the fabric. He needed to do something. Destroy something. Roman’s head was ducked down, he was trying to keep himself small again. Dean took a few deep breaths, trying to control that ever-present violent urge. His words were through gritted teeth when he spoke.

“What...happened?”

Roman’s voice was quiet, abnormally small for the Samoan. 

“I...I lied to you.”

“What?”

“When we first met. I lied to you. About my-my stepdad. He-I’m not supposed to tell anyone, Dean, I can’t-only Seth knows, he saw it-he saw it happen once, I-he hits me. I lied, I said he didn’t-but he only hits me.”

Dean ground his teeth and stood, pacing the floor of the room. He needed something. He needed to go kill Roman’s stepdad. He needed to beat his head in, he needed to choke that son of a bitch until his face turned purple.

“Dean, stop-stop fucking talking like that.”

Dean shook his head; he’d been unaware that he said any of that out loud, but he realized he’d been muttering it while pacing back and forth. He stopped and clenched his fists, grabbing a pillow off of the bed and setting it on the floor, pounding his fists against it until he felt his knuckles hurt. 

“Dean-come on, please-”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, fuck, Roman, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I don’t wanna scare you-”

Roman grabbed Dean’s hands and brought him back to the bed, holding his hands. Roman stroked his thumb over Dean’s now-reddened knuckles. 

“You did scare me a little. You sounded serious.”

“I’m sorry. I-you know I don’t-my brain doesn’t work right, I’m-I can’t-”

“I know, Dean, I know, and I know you’d never hit me. I know that. You wouldn’t do that.”

Dean exhaled heavily, bringing Roman’s hands up to his lips, kissing over the long fingers. 

“How-Roman, you have to tell someone. You can’t-he can’t keep fucking with you like this.”

“If-Dean, he said if I tell anyone-he’d start hitting my siblings, he’d start hitting Mom, I can’t-I can’t let them get hurt, you know that. I can’t. Not after-I can’t.”

“Roman. When you move out, what do you think he’s gonna do?”

“What?”

“When you’re gone, he’s gonna hit Nia. When Nia’s gone, he’s gonna hit Jimmy and Jey. When all the kids are gone, he’s gonna hit your mom. That’s how those fuckers work. I know, I’ve dated five of them, they always fucking say they won’t hurt anyone else if you offer yourself up, they’ll tell that to everyone. He can’t keep doing this to you. How-how long has he been doing it?”

“....Since...right after Rosey, he-Rosey always said he had a bad feeling about the guy-I didn’t know why but he-he always tells me it was my fault and that-I’m gonna bring bad luck to everyone, I-I don’t wanna believe him, but-”

“Hey, no, don’t you fucking even think that. Just because there have been shitty things happening to the people around you doesn’t mean that you’re some fucking omen. He’s preying on your trauma and anxiety, cause that’s what abusers do.”

Roman let out a shuddering breath and squeezed Dean’s hands. 

“I just-I don’t want my family to get hurt, Dean-”

Dean pulled Roman close, kneeling on the bed and holding Roman tight to him careful of the bruises. He was still having a hard time controlling his urges, but he had to stop, he had to be there for Roman now. He ran one hand over Roman’s hair, kissing the top of his head. 

“I know, Ro, I do, you’re-hey, you’re so fuckin’ good, you’re the best person I know, the fuckin’ strongest, you’ve been taking all of this shit on your back so others don’t have to and you’re so goddamn amazing, Roman, I fucking love you. I love you. I’ll help you, I promise, I’ll help you.”   
Roman sniffled, pulling away and looking up at Dean. 

“You don’t mean ‘help’ as in ‘I’m gonna beat your stepfather to death’, right?”

Dean leaned down and kissed Roman on the lips. 

“I promised you I wouldn’t. I’m not breaking promises to you.”

Roman exhaled softly, glancing down at Dean’s lips. Dean gently guided Roman to lay down on the bed, laying over him. He ran one hand up and down Roman’s side, leaning down to kiss Roman’s neck. He let his hand trail down further, and Roman gasped.

“Oh-wait, hold on-I’ve never-”

Dean pulled away a bit, enough to look Roman in the eye.

“Really? Ever done….anything?”

Roman ducked his head down, looking up at Dean through long, dark lashes, and it was completely unfair for him to look so stunning.

“Nope. Just...never found someone I wanted to with.”

“Oh….so...do you want to with me?”

Roman looked at him, and Dean felt warmth spread through his entire body. Dean had never been comfortable being looked at so intensely, so strongly, but with Roman...everything was different. Roman smiled his sweet smile and nodded, one hand coming up to cup the back of Dean’s head. 

“I think….I think if you were the only person I ever did that with, I’d be happy.”

Dean swallowed-his throat felt very dry, and he leaned back down, kissing Roman deeply, moaning against his lips. In the back of his mind-though he was mostly focused on this new task of getting Roman undressed-he couldn’t help but think of the new information about Roman’s stepdad, and what to do. Dean had been in his fair share of abusive situations, and he wanted to help. He didn’t want Roman to feel that kind of hurt anymore.

\---

Dean brushed through his hair, frowning. He loved having his hair longer, but it always ended up knotting and he didn’t understand how Roman’s hair never got tangled at all, given that it was longer than Dean’s and thicker  _ and _ slightly curly. 

Almost on cue, Roman came back into the room, towel around his waist and hair cascading down his back. Dean blushed, and Roman smiled.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Roman got dressed quickly, in gym shorts and….nothing else, because it was warm and humid and sunny out. He tied his hair back into a bun and flopped onto the bed, checking his phone. Dean continued brushing his hair and heard Roman laugh.

“Looks like Seth and Finn are having a good time.”

“Where are they now?”

“Amsterdam. I think they’re just bouncing around the continent at random.”

Dean rolled his eyes and tossed the brush to Roman. 

“Braid my hair?”

Roman sat behind him, gently working his hair into a braid while Dean grabbed Roman’s phone and scrolled through Seth’s instagram, looking at all of the recent pictures. He did look amazingly happy, so did Finn. Dean left a few comments-with Roman’s profile, for fun-on Seth’s coffee pictures. That shit couldn’t be good for that kid’s brain. 

“There you go, baby. All prettied up.”

Dean blushed and ran his hand over the braid, pulling it to rest over his shoulder. He turned to look at Roman, blush deepening under his boyfriend’s gaze. 

“Ro?”

“Hm?”

“Do you...would it be okay if I-just for a little while, if...I could maybe...be not...super masculine?”

Roman tilted his head, reaching out and rubbing his fingers over Dean’s shoulders. 

“Of course, Dean, you don’t have to ask permission or anything. You can always do whatever makes you happy.”

“I know, but...is it okay here? People won’t-it won’t cause us problems?”

Roman smiled and leaned in, kissing Dean very softly on the lips, then on the cheek. 

“I don’t think it’ll be a problem. Stuff like that isn’t perfect here, but I don’t think anyone will try and step up on you.”

Dean felt better, at that. He didn’t think things here would be much worse than in America, and he trusted Roman’s judgement on this. Roman inherently knew more about the country, one way or another. Dean stood and grabbed a pair of lacy shorts and a crop top out of his bag, changing into them, not at all shy of doing so in front of Roman. He bit his lip a little, before pulling out a pair of earrings, simple silver hoops that Seth had bought him one day. He slipped on a pair of sandals-also a gift from Seth, because Seth was ridiculous and wouldn’t stop spending money on him-and turned.

“I’ll be back in a minute.”

Roman nodded, lounging back on the bed. Dean went to Nia’s room and knocked, waiting until his mom opened the door. She looked him over and smiled.

“Hey, honey.”

“Can I use some of your makeup? I left mine at home.”

Lita let him in and Nia looked up from her computer. 

“Oh my God, Dean, I love that shirt, where did you get that?”

“I made it.”

“Can you make me one?”

Dean grinned and sat on the bed his mom was using.

“Totally.”

The three of them talked while Dean put on some mascara, before Nia asked to take over. Dean laughed and let her; he liked Nia. She was fun and bright and lovely, and he was happy they’d gotten closer over the past few months. He thought back to the other night, about what Roman had told him about their stepdad. Dean worried for Nia. It wasn’t that she couldn’t defend herself; she was just as strong as Roman, for Christ’s sake, but with how things had gone with Roman….he was worried for his friend. 

“Wake up, dude, I need you to focus so I can do this.”

Dean blinked and blushed. He hadn’t realized he’d zoned out. 

“Sorry. Just thinking about something.”

“Anything big?”

“No, not...not really.”

“What are you and Roman doing today?”

“Probably just walking around. He said he has a lot of stuff he wanted to show me.”

“I bet he does.”

Dean gaped at Nia and laughed. He loved this family. Lita came back in the room, in loose pants and a bikini top, and Dean rolled his eyes. She was gonna get some appreciative looks today. Nia finished up his face and he checked himself over in the mirror. Nothing too extravagant, but he liked how she did his eyebrows and the blush brought out his cheekbones. 

“Thanks, Ni.”

“Go on, go be cute with my brother.”

Dean grinned and walked back to Roman’s room, blushing and running one hand over his hair. Roman sat up, eyes soft and dark and loving. He smiled at Dean, and Dean came over to the bed, standing between Roman’s knees.

“You look really good, baby.”

“Mmm. I like when you call me that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Dean tried not to let the fact that Roman was still covering his neck bother him. The bruises would heal, they would talk more about it and what to do about it, and it would be okay. Dean would make it okay if it killed him.  

Roman stood and wrapped his arms around Dean, leaning down to kiss him before holding his hand and leading him out of the room. 

“I wanna show you around where me and Rosey and Ed used to hang out all the time, and there’s this little place that has the best smoothies-oh, and our church, it’s not too far away.”

Dean smiled and followed his boyfriend. He loved seeing Roman so excited and he was excited, too, to see all of these things that were so important to him. They got to the porch, and Sika greeted them. 

“Dad, I’m taking Dean around the city today.”

Sika raised an eyebrow at Dean’s outfit, and Dean straightened his posture. He wasn’t going to let Roman’s family’s opinion of him change anything he did. Sika nodded, and Dean felt Roman squeezing his hand. 

“Have fun.”

Roman kept his hand in Dean’s, leading him through the neighborhood. Dean took a deep breath and bit his lip. 

“Hey...was that...okay? Was your dad okay with-me?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I think he was just thrown off. He probably didn’t expect it of you.”

“Oh.”

Roman turned his head, directing that soft, sweet gaze at him again. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just-I guess I was worried that your dad wouldn’t-he didn’t seem too keen on you dating a guy anyway, and-I didn’t know what he’d think of a guy who isn’t a guy.”

Roman sighed, pulling Dean a little closer as they walked. 

“My dad….he’s pretty tolerant. Even if he disagrees with something or doesn’t like something, he won’t be cruel about it. He knows how much I love you, and because of that, he’d never say anything horrible to you. Or me.”

Roman smiled at Dean and leaned down to kiss his cheek. Dean blushed and laughed, pressing himself to Roman’s side. They kept walking, Roman pointing out notable spots and waving at people that he knew. Dean knew they must look like quite a pair, but he didn’t care. He was just happy to be there with Roman. 

\---

Roman paused in his kissing of Dean’s neck at the sound of a knock on the door. They broke apart and looked up, Roman shrugging. 

“Come in.”

Sika opened the door, and Dean could see Roman smiling out of the corner of his eye. 

“I need to speak to Dean, if I may?”

Roman’s smile faded, and Dean and Roman looked at each other. Dean swallowed, but stood and followed Sika out of the room. He quietly walked behind Sika until they were on the front porch. Sika sat on a chair, and Dean did the same, nervous, and prepared for the worst, but staying nonetheless. They looked out at the neighborhood in silence for a few minutes. 

“How do you like it here?”

“....Feels like home.”

Sika raised an eyebrow. 

“I grew up-for like, ten years, in a town in Mexico. The neighborhood we lived in was really family-oriented and tight-knit. It was warm and sunny and I loved it, and-well. Yeah. I like it here.”

“Good. I expect to see you in many future visits.”

Dean’s eyes widened, and he stared at the older man. Sika was still looking out into the neighborhood, waving at two teenagers who passed by. 

“W-you do?”

“Of course. Roman is in love with you, and Roman doesn’t let go of things he loves easily.”

“Y-yeah. I noticed.”

“He’s been hurting a lot, over the past few years. He almost lost Seth to suicide. He was in the crash with Matt, and Ed. My son has struggled a lot. He’s had a dark cloud around him for years now, and it was so dark that I almost-I almost couldn’t see my son anymore.”

Dean looked at the porch, fidgeting with his hands. He’d never expected to hear Sika’s voice sound like that.

“The cloud is still there. He’s still struggling. He hasn’t confided in me what else is going on, but I know that cloud is thinner when he talks about you, or looks at you.”

Dean brought his hand up to his face, wiping away the wet tracks of tears that’d fallen. He bit his lip, trying to hide his reactions. 

“Dean?”   
“I really love your son, I really, really do-”

Dean couldn’t stop the little sob in his voice, and he looked up, taking a deep breath. He wasn’t even sure if he’d meant to say that, but it was true. He adored Roman, he loved Roman, he would give anything to keep Roman happy and healthy for the rest of his life. 

“I know you do. Thank you.”

“There’s nothing to thank me for, really, I-I’ve had a lot of problems in my life-I’ve done a lot of stupid, dangerous shit, I’ve-there’s been a lot, but-Roman-”

“He makes it feel like there are better times ahead.”

“Yeah, and it’s scary as shit.”

Sika laughed-a deep, full laugh that reminded Dean of Roman so much it made him love Sika a little bit. 

“It is. You don’t seem like the kind of-person who likes to think about the future much.”

“Well, when you’ve gone your whole life assuming you don’t have one-and then this fucking amazing person comes in and makes you think ‘oh, fuck, maybe I have a reason to want a future after all’-yeah, I mean...God, I really never-I always kinda thought I’d end up in prison. Or on the street, or something, but Roman-I wanna be a better person. I want to. He makes me want to.”

Sika raised an eyebrow, serious again.

“You want to be better for him?”

“No, he’s so goddamn  _ good _ , and-and he believes in me and loves me, and-fuck, I wanna be better for myself. I want to feel the same way about me that he does.”

That seemed to be the right answer, because Sika smiled, something about him softening. Dean blushed, ducking his head down and clearing his throat. 

“Uh….I-yeah. I mean. I love him. I’m happy with him. I hope he’s happy with me, too.”

“He is. He doesn’t shut up about you. At all.”

Dean looked to Sika, blushing deeper. 

“He-he doesn’t? He’s told you about me?”

“Since the first day you met.”

Dean couldn’t help but giggle at that, covering his face with his hands. He can’t believe Roman had been telling Sika about him for that long, and it made him feel warm everywhere, warmer than he already felt. Sika stood, and so did Dean. Sika put his hands on Dean’s shoulders, and Dean had to lean up to look at him. 

“Thank you for being there for my son.”

Dean swallowed.

“There’s no place I’d rather be.”

Sika patted his shoulders, wrapping one arm around him and leading him back into the house, laughing. Roman spotted them-he’d clearly been waiting in the front room, anxious, but he relaxed at the sight of his father and Dean. Roman walked up to them, leaning down and cupping Dean’s face, kissing him very gently. Sika left, as the twins were calling him, and Roman wrapped his arms around Dean.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah.”

“What’d you guys talk about?”

Dean grinned, pulling Roman into another kiss, pulling away to see his face slack and happy. 

“Nothing much.”

\---

Dean grunted at the sudden pressure on his chest and blinked his eyes open, hearing Roman groan, too. 

“Wake up! Wake up! Come on, it’s Christmas!”

Dean closed his eyes and grinned. Of course the twins would be the first to get up. He peeked at Roman, who was smiling, letting the twins drag him out of bed. Literally dragging him, Roman pretending to be dead weight. Dean laughed and got out of bed, grabbing the same leg Jey had a hold on. 

“Hey! Why’re you working with them?”

“Because, Roman, haven’t you heard? It’s Christmas!”

Roman finally shook his head and stood, heading to the bathroom. Dean went out into the large front room, going directly to his mom. He wrapped his arms around her and she hugged him back, tight as she could. 

“Merry Christmas, songbird.”

“Merry Christmas, Mom.”

Roman’s mother hugged him next, and he blushed when she kissed him on the cheek. Roman’s stepdad didn’t extend him a greeting, but Dean didn’t care. He felt hands on his hips and looked over his shoulder. Roman had joined them, sleepy but smiling. They sat on the floor, Lita on the couch behind them. The twins were already passing out the various gifts, until everyone-even Dean-had a plentiful pile in front of them. 

“Dad, do you wanna lead us in prayer?”

Sika nodded, and Roman smiled at Dean, holding his hand as they bowed their heads.

“God in Heaven, we thank You for this time together. As we celebrate the birth of Your son, we also celebrate this time with our family. We are blessed to have everyone together, old family members and new ones.”

Dean blushed and Roman felt him squeeze his hand, Lita’s hand resting on his shoulder. Dean reached up and linked his fingers with his mom’s. 

“Thank You for the prosperity You have visited upon us, thank You for the love that You have graced us with. We all are thankful for the blessings and wonder that You bring to our lives. Though some of our family isn’t here to see this day, we know that You have gifted us with so much love, that we still feel them here. Amen.”

“Amen.”

Dean squeezed Roman’s and his mom’s hands tight. 

“Amen.”

Roman’s mom clapped her hand and she smiled at everyone. 

“Let’s open some presents!”

They went one at a time, by age. The twins were the youngest in the house, so they started everyone off by opening a gift from their mom. Dean leaned on Roman, cuddling with him and occasionally pressing a kiss to Roman’s neck or cheek or shoulder. Nia went next, and opened the gift Dean had gotten for her. It was nothing fancy, a couple of shirts he knew she’d like, but she squealed and hugged him, and he returned it. Dean was happy she liked the gift, and he cuddled back up to Roman as she inspected the shirts. Dean felt his mom nudge his back. 

“Dean, it’s your turn.”

Dean blinked and blushed, grabbing a gift. He couldn’t believe he’d gotten so many. This one was from the twins, and he tore into it, grinning so wide his cheeks hurt. 

“Oh, dude, are you serious? I love it!”

It was a hat and jersey of his favorite football team, and Dean pulled his shirt off to put the new one on. He smiled down at the shirt and then at the twins, shaking his head.

“I love you guys. Thank you.”

Roman went next, and he grabbed the gift from Dean. Dean blushed and bit his lips, watching nervously as Roman carefully tore the paper. Roman pulled the last piece of wrapping paper off, and gasped. 

“Oh-oh.”

Dean watched as Roman teared up, bringing his hand up to cover his eyes. 

“Oh my God, Dean-”

He wrapped his arms around Dean, the painting still in his hand. Roman pulled back, taking a deep breath and tracing his fingers over the canvas. Roman’s mother moved to sit next to him and rested her hand on her chest, looking at Dean. 

He hadn’t been sure about the gift, and he still wasn’t. It was a painting of Roman, Rosey, and Ed, that same picture Dean had first seen in Roman’s room when they were alone together for the first time. It’d always stuck in his head, especially the more he got to know Roman and his family. Dean glanced at Roman’s face; his lips were trembling and he was clearly trying hard not to cry, and failing. He looked at Dean, big brown eyes wet and shiny. 

“I love it-I love you, thank you-”

Roman’s mom hugged him, and his siblings and Sika came to look at the picture too. Dean didn’t mean for it to be so much of a fuss, and he felt bad when he saw Nia and the twins start tearing up. 

“I remember that. Roman was fifteen and we were all celebrating that championship game.”

Nia’s voice was watery, and Dean was happy when they moved on, the next person opening gifts. Roman still stared at the painting, tracing his fingers over the lines of paint. Dean scooted closer to him, leaning in to speak quietly in his ear. 

“Are you….is that okay? I’m sorry if it was too much, I just-”

Roman turned to look at him, speaking equally quietly, one hand cupping Dean’s face. 

“No, Dean-I love it. It means so much to me that you made this for me.”

“Well….I love you, I just...wanted to do something to show that.”

“I love you too, Dean.”

Dean blushed, running his fingers over the watch on his wrist. They had church after this, and then the family party. He was excited. This was the best Christmas he’d had in...forever.

\---

Roman looked himself over in the mirror, pushing a few loose strands of hair back away from his face. Dean blushed and looked in his bag, trying to find...anything appropriate for church and the family’s party. He didn’t want to wear anything too stuffy-he had no idea how Roman could stand to wear a suit right now, maybe Roman was just more accustomed to the temperatures here. Dean huffed. 

“Baby?”

“Yeah?”

“Uh….kinda have another present for you.”

Dean tilted his head and Roman brought a box to him. Roman had already given him a set of rings for his hair, and had then braided them into Dean’s hair while everyone else opened gifts. Dean took the package when Roman held it out, and opened it without a lot of care; that made Roman smile. 

“I didn’t...really know your size, but I think I got it right.”

Dean pulled the dress out of the box. It was…lovely. Ivory lace and cloth, with a cute collar and-

“It’s got pockets. I know you like having places to hold stuff.”

Dean laughed and stood up, immediately changing into the dress. It was a little tight, but it would wear out over the day. Dean couldn’t help but give a little twirl once he was in it, shoving his hands in the pockets to see how deep they were. Roman looked up at him from the ground and smiled brightly. 

“You look gorgeous. But….I think you’d look even better with the other stuff in the box.”

Dean hadn’t even noticed anything else, but he kneeled down, eyes narrowing at the small jewelry box. He opened it, staring at the contents: a necklace, a thin gold chain with a simple pendant, in some kind of purple stone, and matching earrings. Dean looked up at Roman to see him blushing, head ducked down. His hair had fallen in his face a little, and he looked so terribly adorable, Dean just had to lean forward and kiss his cheek, his nose, his forehead. 

“Thank you. Wanna put this on me?”

Roman grinned, kissing Dean on the lips before helping him put on the necklace. Dean put on the earrings next, and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked  _ good _ , and looked even better when Roman stood next to him. Dean grinned.

“We make a hell of a couple, Ro.”

“Damn right we do, babydoll.”

\---

New Year’s came and went-Dean and Roman shared a kiss right as the new year began, and Roman’s family’s party….was crazy, and Dean loved it. He tattooed at least one person and he was pretty sure he became an honorary member of the family. So did Lita. Roman was all smiles by the time they were on the flight home, and Dean didn’t even hate the flight. It was still a gruelingly long trip, but he was too happy and content to care, even with the little voice in the back of his head reminding him of Roman’s stepdad. 

He’d have to talk to Seth about that. Seth knew how to make plans. 

Dean was again tempted to kiss the ground once they landed-knowing both Roman and Lita were rolling their eyes at him-and he and Roman stayed hand-in-hand as much as they could throughout the terminal. 

“You wanna come home with me tonight?”

Roman smiled-he looked tired, and nodded. 

“Yeah. Lemme ask mom.”

Dean and Lita collected their bags, waiting for Roman to return. It had been hard to see him saying goodbye to his father and uncle and other family members, but particularly his father. Even Dean had teared up, hugging the older man before they left. He and Sika….they’d bonded, during the trip. Dean looked forward to when he could see Sika again.

“Mom said it was cool. God, Dean, all I wanna do is get to your place, lay in bed with you, and figure out how we’re gonna annoy the hell out of Seth when he gets back.”   
Dean laughed, him and Roman following his mom to go get her car back. They piled into the truck, heading home, Roman and Dean cuddled together on the seat while Lita quietly sang along to the radio.


	12. 'The Science Of Selling Yourself Short', by Less Than Jake on their album 'Anthem'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone has a really bad fucking night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: there is a semi-graphic depiction of self harm in this, along with violence, and the use of a homophobic slur.

Sami threw an arm around Dean’s shoulders, both of them grinning and relaxed. They both loved their after-school get togethers, which consisted mostly of listening to ska on Sami’s portable speaker. Sami walked with Dean to the parking lot, watching as Dean put on his helmet. 

“Hey, before you go, there’s a party this Saturday-nothing big, the Bella twins are throwing it-me and Kev are gonna be there, and I know a few other people are coming.”

“Cool. Text me the address, I’ll try and make it.”

Sami smiled, and Dean waved goodbye to him before fastening his helmet and driving off. He liked Sami, and Kevin. He was excited to party with them. 

\---

Roman blinked his eyes open, grinning sleepily at the feeling of Seth clinging to him. Seth had always liked being the big spoon. He snuggled back against his friend and closed his eyes again. He felt Seth stir, and soon heard his voice.

“Mm. Morning, Ro.”

“Hey.”

Roman had spent the night at Seth’s house; a fairly common occurrence, ever since they were babies, and they’d always slept in the same bed, unless Finn was there too. Roman got out of the bed shortly after Seth, doing the same stretches and meditation that Seth did. It wasn’t a habit of his, but when he was at Seth’s house, he liked for them to do it together. It was quiet, and nice, and they felt close. 

They didn’t have any real plans for the day-Finn was busy helping Becky paint the nursery in her house, Dean was….Roman didn’t really know what Dean was up to. He’d briefly mentioned something with Sami and Kevin, and Roman didn’t worry. He trusted all three boys, and he was happy his boyfriend had so many friends. Seth tossed a towel at him and Roman laughed. 

“Hey!”

“Go on, take a shower. I know you get antsy if you don’t.”

Roman rolled his eyes, even though it was true. He hated feeling dirty or sweaty for too long, and bathing helped clear his mind. And he damn sure didn’t mind taking showers at Seth’s house, his bathroom was unnecessarily fancy. And he didn’t have to compete with three other siblings to see who got to use it first; if he and Seth both needed to shower, they tended to just do it together.

Roman scrubbed down with one of Seth’s fancy shower gels, leaving his hair to air dry once he stepped out of the shower. Seth walked into the bathroom-they never knocked, they didn’t need to, they’d seen each other at their worst and then worse than that-and looked at Roman’s chest. There were fresh bruises on his neck, Roman knew that, and he shrugged. 

“Has Dean been to your house since he found out?”

“Only when my stepdad isn’t home. Dean asked to keep me away from him.”

Seth sighed, stripping and stepping into the shower.

“Probably a good idea. I don’t want Dean going to jail….even for a good reason.”

Roman pulled his shirt on quickly and made sure it covered his neck. He went down to the kitchen, pulling out stuff for breakfast until Seth came down, too. 

“Music?”

“On it.”

Seth had bluetooth speakers all throughout his house-it was actually Hunter’s idea, mostly so that he could blast Motorhead early in the morning in the summer-and Roman shot Seth a Look when he heard the familiar notes.

“Really?”

Seth grinned. 

“ _ We’re soaring, flying, there’s not a star in heaaven that we can’t reach- _ ”

Roman sighed, unable to not smile at his best friend’s face while he sang. 

“.... _.If we’re trying, so we’re breaking free _ -”

It was sort of Roman and Seth’s dirty little secret that the High School Musical movies were both of their absolute favorite movies in existence. Seth often brought up Roman’s crush on Zac Efron as a way to win arguments.

They both worked and sang along, going through the soundtracks to all three movies, cooking and cleaning. Roman’s cheeks almost ached from smiling, and he could see that Seth must have felt the same. He loved his best friend so much.

\---

Dean checked the address on his phone. He was at the right place. It was surprisingly close to his house. He’d met the Bella twins a handful of times; they were nice girls, not really his type-platonically or otherwise, though ‘otherwise’ didn’t matter much for him-but he’d chatted with Nikki earlier in the day and they’d offered to let him stay the night, along with a few others, in case he was too inebriated to get home on his own. 

They really were sweet girls. 

Dean walked through the open door, shaking his bangs out of his eyes. The music was loud, the party was in full effect. He’d purposefully gotten there a little late, not wanting to be one of the first ones there. He huffed when he felt a heavy arm around his shoulders. 

“Hi! Hi, Dean, you came!”

Dean laughed at Sami’s voice. Kevin wasn’t far behind, looking much more in control of his faculties. 

“Hey, Sami. How many have you had, dude?”

Kevin sighed. 

“Two beers. He doesn’t have good tolerance for it.”

“I have good tolerance! For everything!”

His words were interrupted by hiccups, and Dean shook his head. Sami and Kevin led him to the kitchen, Kevin grabbing him a beer. Dean sighed and grinned, and shotgunned the entire thing. He got a round of applause from the people in the kitchen, and he took a bow. 

“Do another!”

Dean was handed another can, and John-one of the basketball players in the school-pulled out his phone. 

“Hold up, hold up, I wanna time you-alright-go!”

Dean did it again, knowing he could drink a whole lot faster than anyone else at this party. He finished in a few seconds with barely a drop wasted, and got another round of applause. He crushed the can on his head an grinned.

“Come on! Y’all got anything with some stank on it?”

\---

“Dean!”

Dean blinked, smiling at the head of long blonde hair. 

“Ch-Charlotte! Hi!”   
Charlotte looked so pretty. Dean was, after two hours, properly and truly hammered, and he hugged Charlotte, looking up at her and grinning. 

“You’re so pretty! You’re not as pretty as Rom-as Roman, but you’re so pretty. Like a lion. Are you a lion?”

Charlotte laughed and hugged him back, petting his hair. 

“Not a lion, Dean. I think you need to drink some water.”

Dean pouted, looking up at her and blowing a strand of hair out of his face. 

“I don’t wanna drink water. I wanna dance. Charlotte! Come dance with me!”

Charlotte smiled and danced with him, throwing her head back and laughing when he jumped onto the coffee table, dancing along to the somewhat inane pop song the twins had put on. He got a few wolf-whistles, from a multitude of genders, which Dean thought was nice. Sami joined him at one point, and he loved dancing with Sami, even though Kevin looked like he was rethinking his entire life and all of his choices.

Dean hopped down after a while, Charlotte helping him not to fall flat on his face.

“Hey-where’s-fuck-uh….my other redheaded friend! Where’s the one you’re dating?”

“Becky is helping her dads prepare the nursery, Dean. With Finn? You knew that, sweetheart.”

“Huh. Yeah, I guess I did. Becky is nice. I like her. Me and her and Sami here-we’re the most awesome-est redheads ever!”

“Yes you are, Dean. Can you please drink some water now?”

Dean pouted, but nodded. 

“Okaaaay….can you get it for me?”

Charlotte smiled and patted him on the head. 

“Stay here, Dean.”

Dean pressed his lips together in a tight line and stood there, swaying to the music and dancing a little. He really liked partying. It was fun, and all of these people were so nice. He’d noticed Brock here, and Brock wasn’t nice, but he hadn’t talked to him, so it wasn’t a problem. 

“Excuse me?”

Dean turned, smiling at the stranger. She was pretty, and probably a little older than him. She had long blonde hair and a cat-like grin on her face. 

“Hi! Who the fuck’re you?”

“Call me Sable, honey. You wanna dance?”

Dean blinked. His response time was slow, he’d really drank a lot, but he nodded.

“Yeah, sure.” 

The blonde led him to a more open space and they started dancing-she was much more into close dancing, pressing against him insistently. He didn’t really care, dancing was dancing to him. And she was nice, anyway, though he got the vibe that she could be a total bitch. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and grinned, cat-like and slow. She leaned down to talk in his ear. 

“You’re cute, honey.”

“Thanks! You’re nice!”

“You got plans after this?”

Dean shrugged, still dancing and smiling. 

“‘m staying here with everyone, cause-sorry-cause I can’t walk home.”

Sable pouted and Dean grabbed her hand, twirling her in an attempt to make her smile. It worked, and that made Dean happy. He liked when people were happy. Being happy made him think of Roman. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder and someone was suddenly pulling him away, and he stumbled. His balance was messed up from the alcohol and he didn’t know how he got on the ground, but then he felt someone on top of him and a fist strike his head. Dean instinctively kicked his legs up, one hand coming up to block the fist at his head while using his other hand to hit whoever was on top of him. He caught a glimpse of short blond hair and broad shoulders.

Brock. Of course. 

Dean pushed Brock off of him, crawling backwards away. He didn’t come to fight. He didn’t want to fight. He stood on unsteady, shaking legs, and Brock yelled, running at him and almost knocking him back down again. Dean managed to stand his ground, pummeling his fist against Brock’s face, trying anything he could to deter him. He could hear people around them yelling, people trying to intervene, but Brock kept isolating them. Dean couldn’t focus on much else other than trying to get Brock to stop fucking hitting him, and he brought his knee up, slamming it into Brock’s stomach. That deterred him long enough for Dean to catch his breath, shedding his jacket and panting heavily. 

“What the fuck, asshole?”

“You trying to fucking steal my girl? Guess you’re not as much of a faggot as I thought!”

Dean lunged at Brock, tackling him down onto the coffee table. He punched Brock in the jaw over and over, a few people trying to pull him away. Brock got his footing and wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist, running with him until Dean felt his back smash through glass. They’d gone through the sliding door to the backyard, and he cried out, glass digging into his back through his shirt. 

Dean didn’t think much, after that, just trying to fight his way out of it.

\---

Hunter flipped through a few papers, checking the name on his phone when it rang. 

“Charlotte? Hey, kiddo, what’s-”

“Hunter, get to the Bella house NOW!”

Hunter immediately stood and grabbed his jacket. He didn’t know why Charlotte was calling him so late, but it was clearly something important. 

“What’s going on?”

“I’m at a party and Dean and Brock are fighting-God, Hunter, they’re gonna hurt each other-”

“I’m on my-”

He heard the sound of glass breaking and a few people screaming various things.

“What the fuck was that?”

“Get here now!”

Hunter ran downstairs, passing by Roman and Seth in the living room. 

“Boys, get your shoes on. Dean is in trouble.”

Both boys’ faces fell, Roman’s eyes going wide. 

“What happened? Where is he?”

“I’ll explain on the way, get in the car.”

Hunter drove fast, he knew he was breaking the speed limit, but he knew Brock, and he knew Dean, and he knew their history together. He explained the phone call from Charlotte until they got to the house, and Hunter left the car running as all three of them ran into the house. 

The scene was chaotic, first stepping into it. Kevin and John and a few others were trying to keep Dean and Brock away from each other, Charlotte standing between everyone, Dean and Brock were screaming at each other and both of them were bleeding. Sami was with the Bella girls, all three of them crying.

“What the FUCK is going on!”

The crowd silenced entirely at his voice. Dean looked at him, eyes glancing to Seth and Roman behind him, the blood draining from his face. John spoke up.

“Dean was dancing, and then Brock attacked him, and they just kept going, sir-”

Hunter stepped forward, standing between the boys, in the middle of the crowd. 

“Party’s over. Everyone needs to find a ride home.”

Kevin and John began calling cabs, and Hunter looked at Dean. The kid at least had the decency to look him in the eye, though Hunter could see shame in his expression. He stepped up to Dean, gently gripping his chin and turning his head from side to side, turning him to look at his back. 

“Christ, kid. What the fuck?”

“Went through-went through some glass.”

Hunter could see that. Dean’s back was bleeding in multiple spots, and Sami came up to them, still sniffling, and handed Dean his jacket. Hunter turned to Seth, whose arms were crossed, face furious. 

“Seth, Roman, take him to the car. I’ll be out in a minute, and we’ll be going to the hospital. Brock, come here.”

Dean walked-stumbled, really, over to Seth and Roman, following them out of the house. Brock listened to Hunter’s instruction, and Hunter glared at him. He’d never hit a child, and Brock was a child in his mind, but God. He almost wanted to. Almost.

“I knew you were an ass, kid. I’ve known that for a while now. But I never would have thought you would stoop so low as to attack someone when they clearly aren’t in control of themselves. Call someone to come get you.”

Hunter watched, glaring still as Brock called his uncle. 

\---

Dean leaned on Roman on the walk to the car, holding on tight. 

“Hey, you’re gonna be okay, Dean-Christ, I think you need stitches-”

“Maybe he’ll fucking learn.”

Dean’s brow furrowed at Seth’s words. 

“What?”

Seth turned to face them, fuming. It was the angriest Dean had ever seen him. 

“What the fuck were you thinking? What the fuck were you fucking thinking! You come here, get fucking plastered, and then you get into a fight with a guy who’d probably beat you into a coma if he could? What is the MATTER WITH YOU?!”

Dean growled and pushed away from Roman, getting in Seth’s face. 

“It wasn’t my fucking fault! That fucking-goddamn asshole fuckin’ attacked me, all I wanted-I was just trying to have a good fucking time, and you’re fucking blaming me?”

“Yeah, I am, cause you were stupid, Dean!”

“Hey, come on, don’t-”

“Not now, Roman. Don’t defend him.”

“Hey! Don’t fucking talk to Roman like that!”

“I wouldn’t have to if we hadn’t gotten a fucking call from Charlotte, telling us you were about to get fucking killed because you can’t stop getting into fucking fights!”

“How many fucking times do I have to say it? It wasn’t my fucking fault! I just came out here to party and fuck-fucking relax, and you come at me-fucking acting like I’m a fucking moron, you asshole, thanks for fucking showing me how fucking horrible I am, God forbid I have some fucking fun that you’re not in control of!”

Seth shoved him away, and Dean snapped, tackling Seth against the car and swinging at him. Seth yelled and pushed him away, Dean falling onto the ground with Seth on top of him. 

“Stop!”

Dean could see Roman, and then he saw Seth’s elbow hit Roman’s jaw, and there was a split second where both he and Seth stopped, aware of the effect that would have on Roman. Dean turned them over until he was on top of Seth, bringing a closed fist down on his jaw. He only stopped when he felt strong hands pulling him away, and he was suddenly pressed back against the car. He looked at Hunter, ashamed again. 

“What the fuck is the matter with you two!”

Dean glanced to where Roman stood. His handsome face was blank, one hand cupping his jaw. 

“I’m sor-”

“No. No fucking apologizing. Seth, call Shawn to come pick you up. I’m taking Dean to the hospital.”

“Fine! Fuck, whatever, good fucking rid-”

“Seth, shut your mouth. Now.”

Seth’s mouth snapped shut and Dean let Roman help him into the back of the car. The ride to the hospital was tense, and quiet. The emergency room was blissfully empty, and Hunter only spoke to the nurse. Roman sat out in the waiting room, Hunter and Dean alone in the room until the nurse came back to clean up his wounds. 

“What happened?”

“Brock-”

“Not with Brock. With Seth.”

Dean sniffed and wiped the back of his hand over his mouth. 

“He started calling me stupid, and I’m not fucking stupid, this shit wasn’t my fucking fault-”

“Charlotte told me you initiated at least one round of fighting.”

Dean stared at the floor.

“He called me a faggot, Hunter.”

Dean glanced up, and saw Hunter’s expression soften. The older man sighed and rubbed his palm over his face. 

“Dean...I know what that feels like, but you can’t let what other people say be the reason you get into trouble.”

“He’s a fucking asshole, Hunter, he said racist shit to Roman, I don’t-I can’t let him get away with it-”

“Dean, you know as well as I do that people like him always get away with it. No matter how many times you beat down on him, no matter how many times you prove that you’re stronger and fiercer and better, he’ll get out of it scott-free.”

Dean felt his lip tremble. 

“I just wanted to have a good night, I swear-I didn’t go lookin’ for a fight, I just-I thought it was gonna be fun and we weren’t gonna have any problems-I didn’t even mind Brock being there cause he wasn’t messin’ with me, I didn’t want to-I didn’t wanna hurt Seth, I-he hit Roman and I don’t want Roman to get hit anymore-”

Hunter stayed with him while he got cleaned up, glass pulled out of his back and got stitches. Dean couldn’t even really feel any of it. He pulled on his jacket once the nurse was done-his shirt was destroyed by then-and followed Hunter out to the waiting room. Roman stood and walked up to them, and they piled back into the car. 

“Roman, are you going home, coming back, or staying with Dean?”

Roman glanced at Dean, and Dean blushed, sniffling.

“I’m gonna stay with Dean.”

Hunter dropped them off at Dean’s house, and Roman helped him inside. Lita was out late with a friend, and the house was quiet. Roman kept his arm around Dean’s waist, helping him into the bathroom.

“C’mon, angel. Let’s clean you up, yeah?”

Dean nodded, letting Roman clean his face up, and Dean brushed his teeth as well as he could while being uncoordinated. Roman helped him change into a pair of shorts and left to get him some water. He had a bottle of ibuprofen in his hand, too, and set it on Dean’s bedside table. Roman crawled into bed with him, sitting up against the headboard while Dean leaned on him. 

“You gotta sleep kinda sitting up, angel. In case you get sick.”

Dean sniffled, fisting his hand in Roman’s shirt.

“Hey-hey, you don’t-you don’t hate me, right? Please say you don’t hate me.”

His own voice sounded distant and quiet to him. 

“I don’t hate you, Dean. I’ll never hate you.”

“Cause-I wouldn’t blame you if you did-but I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to hate me.”

“You don’t ever have to worry about that, Dean.”

“But-even though you got hurt? I didn’t wanna get you hurt, I know you get hit a lot-I didn’t want you to get hurt. I”m sorry-”

“It wasn’t your fault. It was an accident, Dean. Just….go to sleep, angel. Okay? Let’s try and get some sleep.”

“Okay. I love you. I-please say it back, I love you.”

Roman kissed Dean’s forehead. 

“I love you, Dean.”

\---

Seth stormed into the house, slamming the front door, stomping up the stairs and slamming his own door. He hadn’t called Shawn, instead calling a cab for himself and paying a little extra for the driver to go fast. He was...absolutely furious. At himself, at Dean, at Brock. At everything. 

Seth heard his phone go off and picked it up. 

“Seth? Love, darling, are you okay? Charlotte just came over-she said Dean got into a bad fight and Hunter took him to the hospital? Is he-”

“I don’t really give a damn how he is.”

“What?”

“We fuckin’ got into a fight, cause Dean decided to go get fucking wasted-”

“Seth, I don’t think Dean meant to get into a fight like that-it sounded like it was Brock’s fault-”

“It wouldn’t have happened at all if he’d never gone!”

Finn was silent for a few moments. 

“Don’t raise your voice at me, Seth.”

Seth sighed, bringing hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. 

“I’m sorry. I’m mad.”

“Are you hurt?”

“No. But-I accidentally hit Roman, and-fuck, that wouldn’t have happened if Dean had just fucking chilled the fuck out-”

“Why are you so mad at him? He didn’t-well, starting a fight with you wasn’t necessary, but-Seth, you know Dean, how he reacts to things, and you know he gets very passionate about protecting-”

“He wasn’t protecting shit, Finn, he made a stupid choice to keep fighting and he has a busted up fucking back because of it.”

“I-Seth, I don’t think you’re being fair to him-”

“I don’t care! God, why are you taking his side on this? If I did something this stupid you’d chew me out for it-”

“I told you not to raise your voice at me-”

“Well, fuck, I’m raising my fucking voice, sorry, I can’t always fucking control myself, or is that only an excuse for Dean?”

“I’m not trying to fight, Seth! I-”

He heard Finn set the phone down for a moment before he heard the angry, quiet Irish accent again.

“You’re clearly not thinking straight. You’ve had a difficult night. We shouldn’t be talking right now. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Fine.”

“I-”

Seth hung up and threw his phone at the door hard enough for it to break. He didn’t care. He didn’t want anyone to talk to him, and he grabbed his laptop, too, throwing it at the door. It broke just the same, and he slammed his fist into the nearest wall. He stared at the hole there, and crawled into bed. He didn’t want to be awake. He didn’t want to think.

He didn’t sleep.

\---

Finn knocked on the door, and Shawn answered. He looked sad.

“Hey, Finn.”

“Hello. May I come in? I tried to call, but Seth didn’t answer.”

Shawn nodded, letting Finn in. He went up the stairs to Seth’s room and knocked on the solid wood. 

“What!”

“Seth? It’s me, can I come in?”

Finn waited until he heard the door unlock. He stepped in, shutting the door behind him. The curtains were shut, the room was dark and quiet. Seth stood with his arms crossed. Finn walked up to him, but didn’t touch him. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Tired. I didn’t sleep much last night.”

Finn frowned. Seth looked tired, bags under his dark eyes. 

“Have you spoken to-”

“No. And I don’t fucking want to.”

Finn threw his hands up a little, huffing out a heavy, annoyed breath. 

“What is wrong? I’ve never seen you act like this, towards anyone. Are you really so mad at him that you’re not even going to talk to him?”

“He fucking laid his hands on me, Finn.”

“He was drunk! He’d just gotten into a fight! He wasn’t thinking clearly-”

“So? Why does he get so many excuses?”

“They’re not-I’m not saying he was right to do any of it, but you’re not being fair to him-Seth, he’s one of your best friends-”

“That still doesn’t change anything! I don’t understand why you can see my fucking side of this, Finn!”

Finn stepped back at Seth’s tone, heart rate picking up. He swallowed and licked his dry lips. 

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you-but until you’re ready to talk about this calmly, I’m not...I don’t-”

Finn’s voice broke a bit, and he rubbed the ring on his finger. He noticed Seth noticing the action.   
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be around each other.”

Seth’s breath hitched and his face fell, and Finn felt tears pricking at his eyes. 

“Are you-is this-”

“No. I don’t want-this isn’t me ending things. But-I don’t feel good being around you right now.”

Seth’s voice was scratchy and broken when he spoke, tears spilling down his cheeks.

“Fine. Fine. Okay. Go.”

Finn swallowed. 

“I love you, Seth.”

Seth stared at him, tears still falling, but otherwise expressionless.

“I….I love you, too, Finn.”

Finn turned and walked out of the room. Shawn offered to give him a ride, and Finn nodded, not trusting his voice to break. He had Shawn take him to Dean’s house, and Roman answered the door. He looked even more exhausted than Seth had, and there was a very prominent bruise on his jaw. 

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Finn walked in and saw Dean sitting at the table, his back covered in bandages. Dean turned to look at him, and Finn gasped. 

“Oh my goodness.”

Finn came up to Dean, kneeling and gently brushing his fingers over the bruises on Dean’s face. They were bad, and it dawned on Finn just how bad the previous night had been for the three of them. 

“Are you alright?”

“I’m hungover and I hate myself, so….yeah.”

“Dean.”

Dean looked over Finn’s shoulder at Roman, and Finn hated the tired, sad tone in the Samoan’s voice. Roman sat at the table with them, running his hands through his hair. 

“Sorry. I-I’m aching everywhere. My back itches. I think I lost a tooth.”

Finn stood and sat at the other chair at the table, sighing. 

“I just came from Seth’s house.”

Finn watched Roman and Dean glance at each other.

“Why did you fight him, Dean?”

“Cause I’m a fucking idiot.”

Roman gave Dean a look, and Dean sighed, leaning back in his seat. He pulled his hair back into a ponytail and sighed again.

“I….I don’t know. At first, I just-I overreacted, but then-I saw him hit Roman-I guess I just...lost control.”

“You really can’t lose control around Seth like that.”

“I think I realize that now.”

“Are you going to talk to him?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he wants to talk to me right now.”

Finn sighed, and rubbed his temple. 

“Dean, may I be completely honest right now?”

Dean nodded, and Finn could see him and Roman both tensing. 

“I don’t think you’re stupid. You know that. But fighting with Seth was possibly the stupidest thing you could have done. It wasn’t bright of him either, and  _ both _ of you need to fucking speak to each other and work this nonsense out. And you, Dean, you need to never put that much alcohol into your body  _ ever _ again.”

“I didn’t-”

“I. Don’t. Care. Is having fun and drinking more important to you than maintaining a friendship with someone who loves you as much as Seth does?”

Dean stared at the table, scratching his fingers over the surface.

“No.”

“Good. Now...God, let’s all brighten up, yeah? I think we could all use some de-stressing. Have you eaten?”

“Not after I threw up for fifteen minutes this morning.”

“I’ll order pizza. The grease’ll set you right.”

Roman laughed, and that made Dean brighten up and smile. They moved to Dean’s room, sitting on the bed and watching  a cartoon, eating pizza and laughing and relaxing. There was likely still a lot to talk about, but for now, Finn wanted his friends to have a nice time.

\---

Seth stared up at his ceiling. The alarm had gone off, and he’d snoozed it. He wasn’t going to school today. He got up, forcing his medications down his throat, before going back to bed. The curtains were still closed, and the room was blissfully dark. Though too quiet. Seth grabbed his remote and turned on some news program, listening to the even voice of the newscaster talking about whatever most recent stupid thing the president had done.

He liked listening to the news. 

Seth stared up at the ceiling still, and when he turned to look at the clock, two hours had passed. He sighed, standing and going down to the kitchen. There was plenty of food, but he only managed to muster up the energy for an apple. And even then, once he’d gone back up to his room and started eating it, he could only get halfway through it. Eating took so much effort. 

Seth knew, in his head, that he should get up and move. His body would feel gross and lazy and weird if he laid in bed all day, but...he just couldn’t. He heard the door opening later in the evening, Hunter and Shawn coming home. There was a knock at his door.

“It’s unlocked.”   
Shawn came in, sitting on the edge of Seth’s bed. 

“Hey, bud.”

Seth nodded. 

“You feeling okay? The school called, said you didn’t show up today.”

“Didn’t feel like going.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“You think you’ll go tomorrow?”

Seth shook his head, turning onto his side, facing away from Shawn. 

“No. I don’t feel good.”

“Alright. I’ll call in for you tomorrow morning. Do you want me to bring you something to eat in a bit?”

Seth shrugged, pulling the blanket over his shoulders. 

“I guess.”

“Okay, bud. Get some rest.”

Seth felt tired, but he still couldn’t sleep. 

\---

“Hello?”

“Hi-hey, Hunter. Uh-is Seth okay? He hasn’t been to school in two days, and-he’s not answering his phone at all-”

“He’s not feeling well.”

“Oh….is-can you tell him to call me, when he can? I’m worried about him, but-should I come over?”

“Honestly, Roman….I don’t know. I think he’ll call you when he’s ready. If anything happens, I’ll tell you. I promise.”

“.....Okay. Just-if-if it gets bad, please let me know?”

“Of course. I’ll see you later, Rome.”

“Bye, Hunter.”

\---

Seth stared at himself in the mirror. He felt like shit. He felt like absolute shit. He looked it, too. He’d almost started shaving, but had stopped. 

Seth hadn’t wanted to die for a long time now. He didn’t think he did now, either, but….he’d spend the last three days not feeling anything. He wanted to feel something, and he stared down at his razor. He hadn’t busted up a razor in years. His scars had healed, so had his burns. 

Seth grabbed the scissors out of the drawer and went to work, carefully extracting the blades. He took them to bed and held them over a lighter, and the pain was electric, at first, but fell into a dull ache. 

Seth took a deep, shaky breath, before going to the landline in Hunter’s office. He dialed the familiar number and waited, eyes tearing up at the wet feeling on his arms. 

“Seth? Are you oka-”

“Hunter-I hurt myself-”

“Oh God. I’ll be there soon, Seth, just-keep pressure on them, okay? Stay calm, I’m coming home now.”

Seth nodded and hung up the phone, going downstairs to the kitchen and grabbing paper towels to press on his arms. He felt something now. He felt stupid, he felt angry, he felt sad and hurt and he couldn’t stop himself from crying. By the time Hunter got home, Seth was sitting on the kitchen floor, sobbing, and Hunter easily picked him up, carrying him up the stairs to the bathroom. 

Hunter had him sit on the closed toilet, while he cleaned the wounds thoroughly, bandaging them up properly. 

“I’m sorry-I’m sorry, Hunter-I didn’t-I just wanted to feel something and I-I didn’t-”

“I know, Seth, I know. Come here.”

Seth sobbed and fell against Hunter, hugging him tight, pressing his face against his shoulder. He hadn’t relapsed since he got out of the hospital, and he never thought he would, but he regretted it. He regretted it the minute he finished with the last cut and saw the blood on his arms. 

Hunter carried him to the bed, sitting with him and petting his hand over Seth’s hair. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. You called me, you did the right thing. You’ll be okay.”

“Please-I don’t wanna go back-”

“You don’t have to go back, I promise. You relapsed. It happens, me and Shawn relapsed plenty of times when we were younger. This was just one time, and from you reaction, I know you regret it. You don’t need the hospital again.”

Seth couldn’t stop sobbing, not yet. He rested his head on Hunter’s shoulder, pressing close to him. 

“I-I think my friends hate me-I made Finn so mad, I-what if he-”

“They’ve all called both me and Shawn asking about you, including Finn. I can guarantee they don’t hate you.”

“I was-I was so mean to them, I-Dean is gonna hate me-”

“He won’t, Seth. He might be mad, but he still loves you. So does Roman. So does Finn.”

Seth quieted, sitting there with his uncle. He sometimes wished his parents were here for him like this, but...can’t have everything. Seth sniffled. 

“I broke my phone. And computer.”

“I figured. Want me to have Shawn pick up new ones?”

Seth nodded. 

“Yeah.”

“Want me to have him pick up some of those cookies you like, too?”

Seth sniffled and smiled, wrapping his arms around Hunter’s waist. He always, always felt safe and secure and stronger with Hunter there. 

“Can he get the ones with all chocolate?”

“I’ll make sure.”

\---

Finn chewed at his nails, leg bouncing uncontrollably. 

“I’m sure he’s fine, man. He’s probably just...maybe he ate something.”

Finn glanced at Kevin, then at Roman. Seth hadn’t been to school, or hadn’t talked to anyone in four days. None of them had heard from him. The closest had been a few calls to Hunter and Shawn. None of them wanted to push Seth, but...this was getting worrying. Finn knew that Roman in particular was driving himself crazy with anxiety; Roman had been grounded recently and wasn’t able to get to Seth’s house, which Finn knew was making everything worse. Dean had been in terribly low spirits as well, and Finn just….didn’t know what to do. No one did. 

\---

Seth turned and stared at the window as it opened, and Dean Ambrose tumbled through it. 

“Ow-stupid ass window-”

“Uh.”

Dean looked up at Seth as he picked himself off of the floor, rolling his shoulders. 

“Hey.”

“....Hey.”

Dean shoved his hands in his pockets and kicked at the carpet, eyes directed down at it. Seth looked at him. 

“So...what’re you doing here?”

Dean cleared his throat, still not raising his eyes. 

“I-I-shit, dude, uh...are you okay?”

“....Not really. You?”

“Not really.”

Dean came over and sat on the bed, still not looking at Seth. Seth muted the tv and turned to face Dean more directly.

“About-last weekend, I-”

“No, Seth, I-”

“Hey. Let me say this, please?”

Dean nodded.

“I….was wrong. About..all of that. I was pissed off, and I was worried, and-I thought you were really, really badly hurt, and-I didn’t know how to handle that. When-when Roman was in the crash last year, I-God, I was fucked up for days. I don’t know how to handle-I don’t know how to deal with that. But I shouldn’t have fought you. That was wrong of me and I shouldn’t have called you all that shit-I shouldn’t have done what I did.”

Dean laid back on the bed, and Seth did the same. They both stared up at the ceiling. 

“I shouldn’t have drank that much. You were right. I know I already have problems with impulse control while sober, drinking just….fucks that up even more.”

“Well….”

Seth held up his arms, letting Dean see the bandages. 

“We all have impulse control problems sometimes.”

“Shit, Seth.”

“Yeah.”   
Seth laughed, shaking his head, and Dean laughed, too. Seth reached between them and laced his fingers with Dean’s. He squeezed his hand, turning his head to look at him.

“God, dude, these past few days have sucked.”

“They really fucking have, Seth, I fucking missed you.”

“I missed you too, Dean. I….life doesn’t feel like life when you and Roman and Finn aren’t here. I...Dean, you’re one of my very, very best friends. You’re my brother. I don’t-I don’t ever wanna fight with you like that again. I don’t ever wanna risk losing what we have.”

Dean smiled at him, a gentle, sweet smile that softened his whole face. 

“Me either.”

\---

Seth raised his hand to knock on the door, but didn’t get a chance before it flew open, and he didn’t have time to think before strong, Samoan arms were wrapped around him tight. Seth laughed and smiled, patting Roman’s side. 

“Hey-”

“Don’t you ever fucking scare me like that again, you fucking dickhead-”

Seth pressed forward, hugging Roman back. Seth had taken the weekend to himself, getting back into his healthy habits. He knew he had a lot of schoolwork to make up, but that wasn’t a problem for him. Roman pulled back after a few minutes, eyes wet and big. 

“Hey, I’m okay.”

“Are you?”

Seth smiled. 

“I….I relapsed, honestly, but...I’m good now. I just needed some time.”

“God, Seth. I was so-”

“I know, and-I should’ve called you.”   
“No, I know you. I know how you deal with things, I get it.”

Seth hugged Roman to him again, pressing his forehead against Roman’s. 

“I love you, Roman.”

“I love you too, Seth, you’re my brother.”

“Fucking forever, I am your goddamn brother.”   
Roman pulled away and they walked to the car, finally driving to school together again, singing along to pop punk and laughing. Dean was already there when they pulled into the parking lot, and he kissed Roman before hugging Seth. They sat and talked, until Seth heard a familiar, beautiful voice. 

“Seth?”

Seth turned to face Finn, breath catching in his throat. Finn was always just….strikingly beautiful, and the time apart only made Seth realize that more. Roman and Dean left to go into the building, giving Finn and Seth a moment alone. Finn stood in front of Seth, while Seth leaned against his car. 

“Hey.”

“How are you….how are you feeling?”

Seth bit his lip, ducking his head down. He hadn’t expected to cry, but he couldn’t help it. Not when faced with Finn. 

“Oh, love-”

“I-fuck, Finn, oh my God, I’m so fucking sorry for how I talked to you, I’m so-I was fucking horrible to you, I never should have raised my voice at you-I-I’ve been so fucked up all week, I-”

Finn wrapped his arms around Seth, one hand cupping the back of his head. He scratched his fingers through Seth’s hair, shushing him and holding him. 

“It’s okay, love, my love, it’s okay-”

“I fucking-God, Finn, it got so bad-I fucking relapsed-”

Finn inhaled sharply, pulling away to look at the bandages under Seth’s sleeves. 

“Oh, darling.”

“I’m sorry-”

“No, no, don’t apologize, love, I-I should’ve reached out, I shouldn’t’ve-I shouldn’t have just stopped talking to you, I’m sorry-”

Seth wrapped his arms around Finn’s waist and pulled him flush against his body. He finally pressed his lips to Finn’s again, he’d missed this-he needed this. The love of his life with him again. 

“I fucking love you-I love you, Finn Balor, so fucking much.”

“I love you too, Seth. I-I was mad, but-I never took off my ring, I needed-I need that part of you with me-Seth-I think we just have to get used to having rough patches, cause-God, I’m not letting anything stop us from spending the rest of our lives together.”

Seth looked into Finn’s big, clear blue eyes, and kissed him again. He never wanted to stop. He never would. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so....this chapter exists pretty solely cause of one video of dean's old character, jon moxley, and it somehow blossomed into this. it's been in my head since the beginning, and this was..exhausting. i wrote it essentially in one sitting, and it was. yeah. a lot.


	13. honey and lemon, warmth and memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a very short chapter, and a look through chris' eyes.

Chris pulled his shirt off, wiping his head with the cloth. It was starting to get warm again-something he knew his little family was happy about, none of them liked cold weather. He was from Canada. He was used to it. But he liked seeing Dean come out of hibernation, and Eddie just always was in a better mood when it was warmer. Lita was happy, too, though Chris suspected that was partially due to her not being able to show off her preferred level of skin when it was cold. He caught Eddie grinning at him and rolled his eyes. 

“Hey, how you doing, gorgeous!”

Chris rolled his eyes again, but blushed nonetheless. Eddie was about the only person who could get him to. 

“How many more boxes are there?”

“Just a few. Aren’t you happy we’re having the furniture delivered now?”

Chris stared at Eddie, both of them fully aware that Chris would never admit that yes, he was happy that they hadn’t gone with his original plan of doing everything themselves. Well, they had Lita and Dean and Dean’s friends helping them, but nonetheless. Finn popped his head out of the back of the truck, smiling bright and happy.

“I think we’re almost done!”

Chris couldn’t help but smile a little at the kid. He was a good kid. There were a few things about him that reminded Chris of himself. All of Dean’s new friends were nice, and Chris was happy about that. He’d only ever really had Eddie, and then Lita. A few other people were what he considered ‘friends’, but he knew that Dean had always had trouble bonding with people, and Chris was happy that he’d found a good group. It was a relief from some of the people Dean had hung around with. Eddie hopped into the back and threw an arm around Finn’s shoulders. 

“Thanks for helping, kid.”

Finn blushed and shrugged. 

“I’m always happy to help Dean’s family.”

Eddie handed Chris one of the last boxes, taking one himself, Finn taking the last one. They walked into the house to see Lita directing the other three boys on where to put things. Roman and Seth seemed a little confused, but Dean looked right at home, and helped them place things. It was harder without all of their furniture, but all of that stuff was coming soon. Hopefully. They’d had issues with delivery people before, but Chris had a feeling things would be fine.

“Is-is that a sword?”

“Yeah. Gift from a friend in California. He collects them.”

Seth held it up and marveled at it, and Chris huffed out a laugh. 

“No swordfighting in the house. We have a backyard for that now.”

“Or maybe we could just not fight with swords at all, that also-that seems like a good plan.”

Chris appreciated Roman’s attempt at being the voice of reason. It absolutely would not work with the combined mischievous power of Dean, Eddie, and Seth, but Chris appreciated it nonetheless. Chris went back outside, closing up the truck. He’d return it once the furniture was all moved in, and he joined everyone back inside. He caught a glimpse of Dean and Roman sharing a brief kiss, and he smiled to himself. 

He was happy about that, too. Dean deserved a good partner. 

Chris set about putting together one of the bookshelves, Seth sitting down next to him to help. They worked together well; Seth actually reminded Chris a little of Eddie. Chris carefully held the pieces while Seth screwed them back together, and Lita answered the door when the delivery people arrived. They brought in the furniture and Eddie and Roman set to arranging it, finally getting things set up properly. 

Eddie and Chris hadn’t ever owned a home before, but they were excited to, especially since it was so close to Lita and Dean. Eddie didn’t like living so far away from his other family members, but they’d agreed this was the right choice. They’d missed Lita and Dean. Lita was like a baby sister to them, and Dean was the light of their lives. It had been unbearable being away from them for so long. 

Chris and Seth moved onto a few other pieces of furniture, putting them back together carefully while Dean directed Finn on where things went. Chris caught Seth looking at Finn and smiling. It was sweet. They were good kids, and it was nice to see young people so dedicated to the love they shared. 

“Pay attention to the shelf, kid.”

Seth blinked and blushed, focusing on the task at hand again. 

Everything came together quickly, and Chris pulled Eddie close. He rarely initiated affection-it usually made him uncomfortable, and he oftentimes just thought that if he loved someone, that person should just Know-but Eddie always brought out the best in him. He wrapped an arm around Eddie’s waist and squeezed, looking at their home. It only felt more right with the life brought by Lita and Dean and Dean’s friends. 

“Come on. We wanted to buy you all dinner for helping.”

It had been Eddie’s idea, because Eddie loved showing affection through food, and they all piled into various cars-Lita, Dean, and Roman in Lita’s truck, Seth and Finn in Seth’s absolutely ridiculous car, and Eddie and Chris in the same car they’d had for ten years. Everyone followed them to the restaurant, and Eddie happily led everyone inside. Chris loved that about Eddie. He’d been through so much, but was just...such a happy, bright, wonderful man. Chris didn’t mind when he felt Eddie’s hand grip his. He just smiled and allowed the action. He’d never really deny Eddie anything. 

They were seated, and Chris smirked when Roman pulled out both Lita and Dean’s chairs for them. It was about time Dean dated someone with some damn manners. 

“Have any of you ever been here before?” 

Everyone shook their heads except for Finn, who shrugged. 

“This is where we came for Becky’s dad’s birthday last year. The carne asada is really good.”

Eddie grinned at the Spanish words in Finn’s accent, and immediately had him read the entire menu. Chris rolled his eyes; Eddie wasn’t making fun of Finn, and both of them were clearly enjoying it. Everyone was.

\---

Chris wiped his face off with a washrag. First night in the new house. Eddie was already in bed, and Chris smiled at him when he walked into the bedroom. He crawled into bed, kissing Eddie’s arm and shoulder. 

“Hey now, I’m already sore from today.”

Chris grinned and laughed under his breath, kissing Eddie’s shoulder again. Eddie moved his arm so that Chris could lay against him, and he pressed against Eddie’s side. It always felt so natural. They’d known each other since they were teenagers, for almost thirty years at this point, and Chris had never met anyone in that time who could make him feel the way Eddie could. 

He supposed that’s what love was supposed to be like; Chris didn’t consider himself an expert in emotional matters (no one did, really, for good reason), and the revelation that he loved his best friend had come early in knowing each other. He hadn’t even thought much of it. Eddie had made a big grand gesture, which was very in character for him. Chris knew some people thought it odd, that such a gruff, stoic man would be with one so exuberant, but people rarely looked past their first impressions. 

“I can’t believe we own a fucking house.”

Chris grinned and sighed. 

“It’s nice. I’m happy we can finally settle the fuck down. It’s good being near Lita and Dean again.”

“God, right? I missed them. They’re doing good, though. Lita seems to like her new job.”

“I know. Seems steady, too. Dean surprised me.”

He felt Eddie laugh. 

“I know. But it’s a good surprise. He deserves good friends.”

“And a good boyfriend.”

Eddie laughed at that, too.

“Roman seems like a good guy. I talked to Dean about him, he makes Dean really happy, and he’s okay with….well, all the shit that Dean’s ex wasn’t okay with.”

Chris frowned. He knew that was a reference to Dean’s gender and mental health issues. He’d always known Dean was different on a few fronts, and he and Eddie had always been more than accepting of it. Hell, Chris couldn’t say that he himself ever felt attached to a gender. And he and Eddie both had their own mental health issues that they dealt with.

Dean really was essentially their son. 

Chris felt Eddie nudge him. 

“Hey, get out of your head, babe.”

Chris sighed, squeezing Eddie around the middle. 

“I’m out. I’m good. Almost started thinking about Dean’s dad.”

“Ugh. Yeah, let’s get you out of that train of thought now.”

Eddie’s hand trailed up and down his back, over his shirt, and then under it. He hummed and pressed closer, throwing one leg over Eddie’s. 

“Gonna take my mind off things?”

“Damn right, baby.”

Chris flushed and grinned, pressing his lips to Eddie’s. 

 


	14. i wonder if schools still give people snacks during breaks in standardized testing. that was always cool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dean grows.

Dean put up the guitar carefully. He wouldn’t want to damage them, and he heard Jeff clear his throat. He’d started thinking of the teacher as a friend, too, and he was happy to have that presence in his life. 

“Dean? Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Dean knew Roman and Seth and Finn were waiting outside, but he shrugged. 

“Yeah, okay.”

Jeff sat on his desk at the front of the room, kicking his feet a little. 

“How are you feeling? You doing okay?”

Dean shrugged again. 

“I’m okay, yeah.”

“Been in any fights lately?”

Dean blushed. He hadn’t been in any, not since fighting with Brock. That had been weeks ago, everything properly healed now. Both in his body and his friendships. He thought briefly to the morning after, how Roman had held his hair back while he threw up, helping him shower and treating him so, so softly. 

“No. Didn’t….didn’t really want a repeat of what happened last time.”

Dean could see Jeff biting his lip nervously, and Jeff exhaled through his nose. 

“Dean, have you ever been-have you ever been taught to fight?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean….have you ever been in like...a boxing class, martial arts, anything like that?”

Dean tilted his head. 

“No. Just...kinda learned on my own.”

“Would you like to learn from a professional?”

Dean blinked. 

“Uh…..what...what are you saying?”

Jeff stood and handed Dean a card. It was simple, with a name, a number, and an address. 

“This is my partner’s card. They run a gym. I mentioned you to them a few times, and they said they’d like to see what you got, maybe train you. I think it’d do you good. It’s just a suggestion, though. Wouldn’t want you to think I’m telling you what for.”

Dean looked the card over, and nodded. He and Jeff had too much in common for him to think Jeff was saying this out of negativity. 

“Do I just...show up?”

“That’d be fine. Whenever you’re free after school, I think they’d be happy to meet you. I can go along, if you’d like.”

Dean shook his head. 

“Nah, I can handle it myself.”

Jeff looked at him for a second, before laughing a little and shaking his head. 

“I know you can.”

\---

Dean parked his motorcycle in the parking lot, pulling his helmet off. The gym was….interesting. The building was dark grey and seemed to look like a storm cloud, even on a sunny day like today. It made the surrounding area feel overcast. 

Dean made his way inside. The inside was fairly active; people doing various things, a group of people gathered around the ring in one corner. There was a young woman and an older man running through some moves. She was impressive. 

“Can I help you?”

Dean turned at the voice, a little surprised but trying not to show it. The man was tall-very tall, and had long, dark hair. He had a bandana on his forehead, and he very much looked like he was in a biker gang. He was kind of instantly cool, though Dean still felt the little nagging voice in his head telling him to rebel against even this authority figure. 

“My name is Dean Ambrose. Uh...my music teacher sent me?”

The man’s eyebrow raised and he looked Dean up and down. 

“Huh. Not as scrawny as I expected. My name is Mark. I’m Jeff’s husband.”

Dean’s eyes widened at that. He took the hand that Mark held out and shook it. He hadn’t expected….this, at all, but a part of his mind immediately made the comparison between Mark and Jeff and himself and Roman. He wanted to laugh about it. 

“Uh-it’s nice to meet you. Jeff-uh-Mr. Hardy told me-he said you wanted to see if I was worth training?”

“I do. I’ve heard some crazy stories about you, kid. Went through a door cause of that Lesnar kid?”

“Yeah. Fucked my back up. I-yeah. That was kinda my fault.”

Mark raised an eyebrow at him again. 

“Takes a lot to admit that it was on you.”

Dean shrugged.

“Not all of it was, but I egged him on at one point. Not gonna lie about it.”

Mark narrowed his eyes before nodding. Dean wondered if that meant he’d passed some kind of test, but he followed Mark to the ring. Mark whistled and everyone moved, the woman and older man exiting to stand on the side. Dean didn’t hesitate to get in, tossing his jacket and helmet in the corner. Mark stood in the ring across from him, cracking his knuckles and rolling his shoulders. 

“Have at it.”

Dean blinked at Mark, before shrugging. If he was supposed to start, he would. He considered the older man for a moment, noticing a slight hitch in Mark’s step. Dean stretched a little before moving, fast, going after Mark’s chest first to fake him out, before bringing his knee against Mark’s leg. The older man actually stumbled and Dean used that moment to his advantage, knocking him to the ground with all his weight and straddling Mark’s thick chest, bringing his fists down on Mark’s head. He assumed he wasn’t supposed to hold back, and he got in a few good shots before Mark shoved him off, getting him into a chokehold. Dean panicked for a second-he had anxiety about choking-but focused, hitting Mark in the face as best he could, and Mark’s grip loosened enough that Dean could bite down on his hand. Mark swore and shoved Dean away, and Dean sat against the ropes, panting. 

Mark was staring at him, rubbing the spot where Dean had bit. And then….Mark laughed. 

“Damn, kid! You’re good on your feet. Could use a little fine-tuning. You need to think about how you want the fight to end, not just what you’re at in the moment. Not exactly graceful, either, but that can be fixed with training.”

Dean stood and swallowed. 

“You-you wanna train me? I-I did good enough?”

Mark stood in front of him, and held his hand out. Dean took it, shaking it again.

“You did. We’ll meet here on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, at four. Try and quit smoking, it’ll hold you back.”

Dean frowned, but nodded. He really hadn’t expected to do good enough for Mark to agree to train him; he honestly had expected to make an ass of himself. But he’d done something right, and he assumed it was in part because of Jeff’s apparently shining recommendation. He and Mark both stepped out of the ring and Mark showed him around the gym. It was a nice gym, most people there happy to wave hello. There were a lot of older men, and Mark explained them as friends from when he worked as a fighter. 

“Uh...this place is really nice. Thank you for agreeing to-train me, and help me, I guess. Thank you, sir. I-I actually have to get home now, but-I’ll be here tomorrow on time.”

Mark actually walked him out, and Dean glanced at the tattoo on Mark’s inner wrist. It was the same one Jeff had, and Dean blushed. He thought it was sweet that they were so sure of their love that they’d been willing to tattoo themselves for it.

Mark whistled when he saw the bike. 

“Damn.”

“Thanks. It was a birthday gift.”

Mark smirked, tilting his head. 

“Don’t tell me. Guy named Hunter? Gave up on the hair, but not the beard?”

Dean laughed and nodded. 

“Yeah! Yeah, it-I’m friends with his nephew. Uh. He got it for me.”

“Nice to see him helping out the younger generation.”

“How do you know him?”

“Got into a fight with him once. We’re in a biker group together now.”

“....Huh. Everyone seems to know everyone.”

“A third of the damn town is one family, Dean. It’s hard not to meet everyone.”

Dean nodded. He knew that was referencing Roman’s family, and he said goodbye to Mark before pulling his helmet on, peeling out of the parking lot and heading home.

\---

“Mmm-fuck-Ro, baby-c’mon, cut it out, I can’t be late-”

Roman pulled away and frowned. Dean almost leaned in to kiss him, his adorable boyfriend’s pout just a bit too cute. Dean grinned and cupped Roman’s face. 

“We can get together tomorrow, Romie. I promise.”

Roman leaned down, pressing his face against Dean’s shoulder. 

“But I wanna be with you now, Dean.”

Dean hugged Roman tight, kissing the side of his head. 

“I know, baby. But this is-I don’t wanna piss my teacher off. I think he’ll drop me if I do.”

Roman pulled away, still pouting, and sighed.

“You promise you’re free tomorrow? I can have you all to myself?”

“All of me, Rome. I promise.”

Roman smiled and Dean pulled him in for another kiss. He still had plenty of time to get to the gym, but it was so damn hard to leave Roman. Tomorrow was a Saturday, though, so he knew they’d have the whole day to themselves. This would make the second full week that he’d been training with Mark, and he found himself looking forward to it. Mark had started him on actually working out, and Dean was excited to become physically stronger, and he was learning a lot already, watching the other people at the gym. Dean had always learned best from example. 

He kissed Roman one last time before they parted, and Dean drove a little faster than necessary to get to the gym. He was a little afraid that if he didn’t, he’d turn right back around and take Roman home with him. 

The thought was always tempting. 

Dean pulled the small bag with his workout clothes out and ran into the gym. He was still a bit early-according to his watch, which he still wore almost 24/7-but he liked being early. It gave him time to relax before they started. Mark was working with a group of women on...something, Dean didn’t know what, but it looked intense. Dean also liked the gym because it was a great place to work on anatomical drawings. Mark finished up with the women and came up to Dean, a towel thrown over his shoulder. 

“You ready?”

Dean nodded, following Mark to the area with weights. Dean already had a good bit of strength, likely from moving amps and instruments so often, but Mark wanted to push him a little. They went through their usual routine-weights, cooling down, hitting the various pads and dummies, another break, and then ring work. Dean enjoyed the ring work the best. It felt more natural, and he felt like he learned more there than anywhere else. 

Again, he learned best by example. 

Once they got into that, into working in the ring, Dean was a little frustrated. Mark kept trying to show him something and it just didn’t click in his brain, and Dean had always had a problem with frustration. It made his entire body feel bad and it made his head hurt. Mark seemed to sense this, the change in Dean’s attitude, and signalled for him to stop. Dean caught his breath, sweat dripping down his forehead. His head hurt already, and he pressed his palms to his temples. 

“Dean?”

“Headache.”   
“Come with me.”

Dean followed him into the small office in the corner, and Mark directed Dean to sit on the couch along one wall. Dean watched as Mark grabbed a bottle of water and a bottle of pills-nothing stronger than ibuprofen, and Dean took two. The water helped a little, and he curled up on the couch. Mark sat at the desk, looking through a few papers. It had quieted in the gym by now, and Dean felt his eyes getting droopy. 

“You gonna sleep?”

Dean forced his eyes open. 

“No, I-I can go home, sorry-”

“You’re not driving a motorcycle unless you’re fully awake. Go ahead. Jeff sleeps there sometimes when he can’t think of any new art projects or songs. Says he dreams better there.”

Dean huffed out a laugh, quickly sending a text to his mom, saying he’d be late home before he let himself drift off.

\---

Dean blinked his eyes open. It was dark outside, he could tell through the windows, and he realized he was still at the gym. He checked his phone and sat up. It was eleven at night, and he’d been asleep for five whole hours. He heard the sound of Mark and someone else in the gym, and stood, worried that something was wrong. He ran out of the office and stared into the ring at the two figures, moving and fighting.

“Roman?”

Roman turned to face him, eyes wide-and if Dean was seeing right, just a little bloodshot-and he let go of Mark. He’d had the older man in an armbar, and he rolled out of the ring and walked up to Dean. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I fell asleep in the office after training-what are you doing here?”

Roman ducked his head down, crossing his arms over his chest. Mark was watching them from the ring. 

“I….I come here sometimes….when-if-if I have nightmares, or panic attacks.”

Dean pulled Roman close, rubbing his palms over Roman’s biceps, his voice quiet.

“Did you have one tonight?”

Roman nodded. 

“Uh-it-my stepdad was bad today-”

Roman whispered it, and Dean wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, pulling him close. He felt Roman’s arms go around his waist and he petted one hand over Roman’s hair. 

“Hey-it’s okay, Rome-”

He held him for a few minutes, comforting him, until Roman pulled away and sniffed. His hands were on Dean’s hips and he squeezed. 

“Thanks, baby.”

“You wanna come home with me?”

Roman smiled, pulling Dean closer again.

“I really, really do. I’ll text my mom.”

Dean grinned, before he remembered they weren’t alone. He looked over Roman’s shoulder at Mark, who was smiling, rubbing the tattoo on his inner wrist. 

“Why’d you let me sleep so long? Were you just gonna stay here with me?”

Mark shrugged. 

“Yeah. You looked like you needed it.”

Roman laughed and got back into the ring. 

“You mind if I finish up here, Dean?”

Dean shook his head. He was excited, actually. He wanted to watch and see what Roman could do. He’d never seen the other boy do anything more than play-fight with his siblings and family. And watching Roman turned out to be…..an experience. He moved so beautifully, he was so strong, it was like watching art. Dean is pretty sure the Greeks would have written epics about Roman. 

Roman must have noticed his staring. Roman looked between him and Mark. 

“Could….Dean, if you’re up for it…”

“You wanna watch him and see what he’s really got under the hood.”

Dean flushed at Mark’s statement, but he got into the ring nonetheless. If Roman wanted to see what he could do, then he’d gladly show him. Roman stood at the apron and looked up at them with big, deep brown eyes. Mark didn’t hold back much, and neither did Dean. He got knocked in the head a few times, but he held his own, and he caught a glimpse of Roman; eyes wide, lips parted, just the hint of a blush on his cheekbones. 

He looked like he liked what he was seeing. 

Dean and Mark finished up, and Roman handed him a bottle of water. Mark climbed out of the ring and started tidying up, readying the gym to be closed for the night.

“So why’d you never tell me that you knew Roman? I figure if your man had told you about me, he’d had to of mentioned Roman, too.”

“We are kind of a package deal at this point. You never mentioned working with Dean, either.”

Mark shrugged. 

“Never came up. Didn’t see why I should put y’all’s business out there.”

Mark stood in front of them, while they sat on the ring apron. He crossed his arms and Dean felt the little rebellious voice in his head start up again. Mark considered them for a moment.

“You two really remind me of myself and Jeff.”

Roman’s eyes widened, and Dean realized he probably never knew about who Mark’s partner was, and Dean could see the connections being made. He bumped his shoulder against Roman’s. 

“You two have something important. I won’t say you need each other, but after having been married for twenty years, I can tell when love is real.”

He stepped closer to them, and his face softened. Dean noticed that it was the first time he really looked his age. 

“Remember that you’re two whole people. You don’t complete each other, you complement each other. That’ll keep you going a long, long time.”

Dean looked down when he felt Roman’s hand cover his. He looked at Roman, the both of them smiling. 

“Come on. I gotta get home, or Jeff isn’t gonna sleep tonight.”

Dean led Roman out by the hand, giving him the helmet to wear on the way home. They said goodbye to Mark, the older man standing and watching as they left. Dean drove them to his house, quietly unlocking and opening the door, leading Roman to his bedroom. Roman seemed tired, and Dean stripped and climbed into bed with him, pulling Roman to lay with his head on Dean’s chest. He petted his hand over Roman’s hair, soaking in the warmth from his body. 

“You okay?”

Roman sighed. 

“Yeah. I….he choked me again today.”

Dean tensed, and Roman tensed in response, and Dean tried very, very hard to relax. He knew getting mad wouldn’t be good for Roman right now, and he didn’t want to hurt Roman anymore than Roman had been hurt today.

“Do you wanna stay here for a few days?”

Roman nodded, pressing his face to Dean’s chest. Dean sighed, running a hand up and down over Roman’s back until he felt his breathing even out. Dean needed to figure out something to do about Roman’s stepfather. For now, though, he wanted to hold Roman and sleep.

\---

“Dean, can you come in here a minute?”

Dean and Roman both looked up from the various devices and books they had spread on the bed between them-another damn science project that was going to take eight years to complete-and Dean stood, heading into his mom’s room. She was standing in a pair of shorts and an oversized tshirt, and looking through her open closet. She turned to face Dean and frowned. 

“Can you help me pick something to wear tonight?”

“Totally. Where’re you going?”

Dean saw his mom blush, and he tilted his head. 

“Well...I was waiting to tell you until we were more serious, but-I’m going on a date. I’ve been seeing someone.”

Dean blinked. 

“Oh.”

“Is that….okay?”

Dean sat on the edge of her bed and kicked his feet a little. His mom had dated a few people, and quite a few of them...were not so great. 

“Yeah, of course. Are they cool?”

Lita came and sat next to him on the bed, and she had one of the biggest smiles Dean had ever seen on her face.

“Yeah, he’s...yeah. He-I think you’ll like him. You’ve met him.”

“I have?”

“Yup. You remember Matt, right?”

Dean’s eyes went wide. 

“Matt Hardy?”

“Yeah.”

Dean had met Matt a handful of times, mostly through Jeff, the two brothers were extremely close and hung out as much as possible, and Matt had been the lead singer of Deletion, and Dean had always thought he was really cool. 

“How long have you two been seeing each other?”

“Since...maybe late November, is when we started talking. I really, really like him.”

Dean looked at his mom. She was flushed and smiling, and Dean leaned in and rested his head on her shoulder.

“I’m happy for you.”

She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. Dean loved his mom more than anything or anyone in the world, and he’d give anything to make her happy. If Matt made her happy, then he’d do whatever he could to support them. She squeezed him and he stood, heading to her closet, pulling out an outfit. He knew what his mom liked to wear, and he held it out to her. Lita grinned and hugged Dean again.

“Perfect. Thank you, songbird.”

“You’re welcome, Mom. I love you.”

Lita reached out, cupping Dean’s face and stroking her thumb over his cheek. 

“I love you, too.”

She left to shower and Dean went back to his room. Roman had pulled his hair back in a haphazard manner, focused on the papers in front of him.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Mom is...she’s going on a date.”

Roman looked up, one eyebrow raised. Dean had told him about his mom’s past partners; the girl who beat him, the guy who tracked them across almost all of Mexico, the couple that had tried to throw gasoline on them after Lita dumped them. Dean sat back on the bed and smiled. 

“She’s dating Jeff’s brother.   
“Whoa, seriously? Matt?”

Dean nodded. Roman seemed to consider it, before nodding in approval.

“Huh. Cool, I think they’d click pretty well.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you okay with it?”

Dean sighed. 

“Yeah, just…”

“Worried?”

“Yeah.”

Roman smiled at him and leaned over the books and papers, kissing Dean on the cheek and on the lips. 

“It’ll be fine, baby. Your mom is tough.”

Dean smiled and nuzzled Roman.

“She really is. I’m happy for her, I am. And….it does give us the house to ourselves for the night…”

Roman licked his lips, pulling back enough to look at him, eyes dark and warm. They both shoved the books and papers off of the bed and Roman pounced on Dean, both of them pulling the other’s shirt off as fast as they could manage.

\---

Dean frowned. 

“Seth, what do you think of this color?”

He held up the bottle of nail polish and Seth looked at it. 

“It’s nice, but I don’t know if it’s very ‘you’.”

Seth looked at the rows of nail polish and his eyes lit up at the sight of a bright magenta. He picked it up and handed it to Dean, a wide grin on his face.

“There you go. That’s ‘you’.”

Dean grinned right back and slipped his hand into Seth’s, the other holding the small basket of things they were buying. Condoms, a copious amount of junk food-at least what they didn’t already have at the house-and nail polish. He hadn’t convinced Seth to try makeup yet, but he didn’t think it would be too hard. 

They walked past an aisle full of shampoos and conditioners and-

Dean’s eyes went wide and he dragged Seth into the aisle, Seth letting out a short yelp at the sudden change in direction. Dean grabbed a box off of the shelf and grinned. Seth gave him a very distinct look, and that only convinced Dean more. 

“Dude. Come on. I have to get this.”

“Are you serious, dude?” 

“Hell yeah. We could do yours, too.”

Seth bit his lip.

“I’ve never….I don’t know, Dean.”

“Come on, man, it’ll be fun, and you’ll look awesome.”

Seth narrowed his eyes, before slowly grinning. Dean grabbed another box and pulled Seth to the register, both of them feeling giddy and excited about the night ahead.

\---

Dean took a little extra time on the ride to school. It was time for standardized tests and he had no excitement about them. It wasn’t that Dean was bad at taking tests or that he got bad grades, he just had a hard time keeping his focus on the actual test. 

He finally pulled into the parking lot, seeing Seth and Roman in their usual spot, Finn lounging on the hood of Seth’s car. Seth had a hat on, his hair entirely concealed and Dean grinned as he parked his bike.

Dean stood, pulling off his helmet and letting his hair-it now reached past his shoulders-cascade back. He smiled at Roman, whose eyes were wide. 

“Boy what the FUCK you do to your hair?”

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head a little. He ran a hand through his newly-pink hair, pulling it over one shoulder. 

“I killed a flamingo and absorbed its power. I fuckin’ dyed it, Rome.”

Roman came closer, standing in front of Dean and reaching up to touch Dean’s hair. 

“It’s….so pink.”

Dean blushed and swallowed.

“Do….do you like it?”

Roman kept touching his hair, rubbing his fingers over it. He seemed…..enraptured.

“Pretty.”

Dean blushed more, and ducked his head down, smiling. He was hoping Roman would like it, though he wouldn’t’ve changed it if Roman had hated it. Roman really did seem enamored with the color, quietly talking about how pretty it was. 

“Hey, man, I’m glad you like Dean’s, cause…”

Roman turned and Dean grinned as Seth pulled his beanie off. Roman’s jaw dropped, and Finn’s eyes got very, very big. 

“-we kinda had a hair-dyeing party last night.”

“You’re….blond.”

Seth wasn’t entirely blond. They had looked through a ton of pictures before finally deciding that Seth would bleach half of his hair, leaving the other half his natural color. Dean had pushed for doing all of his hair, but he had to admit, Seth made this work. It looked a little avant-garde and fashionable on him, and the bleached section made his skin look darker, his eyes even more striking. 

Finn came over to them and opened the passenger door of Seth’s car, pushing Seth into it before climbing in after him. Dean wolf-whistled and Roman did a very impressive Barry White impression. Dean knocked on the window before grabbing his backpack.

“Hey, guys, we got testing today! Hurry it up!”

Roman laughed as the window rolled down, Finn flipping them off before the window was rolled back up. Roman shook his head and grabbed Dean’s hand, walking into school with him. 

“I really do like that look on you, Dean. It….it really suits you.”

Dean blushed, squeezing Roman’s hand in his. He knew any choice he made about his body was his decision and his alone, but he couldn’t help but feel happier when a choice he made also made Roman happy. He supposed that was a part of being in love, and he felt a warmth and contentment settle in his chest at the thought of love.


	15. the light at one end of the tunnel is from the bridges i've burnt getting there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> roman...has a rough ass time with life in general.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh. yeah. this is not an easy chapter. the most fun part is when the guys get high together, but if you're not cool with drug use, you should maybe avoid that scene. but the other scene before that is basically Emotional Abuse Extravaganza, and the last one is a *SPOILER* major ptsd flashback. like. tread carefully. this chapter sucks.

Roman flinched, and he knew that was a mistake. His step-father looked at him steadily-as steadily as he could with how much he’d drank-and Roman steeled himself for what was to come. His mom and siblings were all staying with an aunt who’d gotten sick, Roman staying home to keep up the house. He was the oldest and he happily took it as his responsibility, though he was unhappy that his stepfather hadn’t found someplace to fuck off for the duration. 

“What’s your problem? Don’t you got shit to do?”

“Y-yes, I do, but-I need the kitchen.”

“So? Nothing stopping you from coming in here.”

Roman swallowed and stepped forward. His stepfather sat at the island and watched his every move as he walked towards the sink. Roman tried to keep his hands from shaking as he started on the dishes, tried to think about anything but the man in the room with him. 

Roman, overall, considered himself a lucky person in the long run. He had a mostly-good family, a big family who loved him, amazing friends, the most wonderful boyfriend in the world. He wasn’t extraordinarily poor and he had a lot of talents. 

But no matter how much he knew he was well-off, he couldn’t make those feelings matter when he was near his stepfather. 

“You watch the game on Saturday?”

“Uh-yeah, I did.”

“That damn running back can’t block a damn thing, can he?”

“Not really. Passes are smooth, but he just doesn’t have the heft to block.”

Roman hated moments like this the most, whenever he sat and thought about his relationship with his stepfather. It was….normal. Talking about football or school or anything. It was a respite from the cruelty and what made it so much crueler was that Roman could almost, in these moments, believe that his stepfather actually cared about him. 

“How’s Seth and them doing?”

Roman swallowed. 

“Uh-th-they’re good. Hunter is thinking about buying some more properties around town.”

“Yeah? What for?”

“Uh-a community center, for one, and-I think some kind of clinic or something to help homeless people?”

“Huh. Tell him to call me if he needs any architect references.”

“I will.”

Roman’s hands shook, still. 

“How’re your grades?”

“Oh-uh-I have a B in history right now, but-there’s a test on Thursday that’ll bring it up-all the rest are A’s-”

“Good. Heard back on any scholarships?”

Roman controlled his breathing. He already flinched once, he couldn’t show anything else.

“I-I’ve heard from two schools out of state, we’re gonna talk on the phone next week more about it, and I should hear back from the rest this week-”

His stepfather was silent for a while, and Roman settled into the monotony of doing the dishes. He liked doing the dishes, it was physical and he had to move his hands a lot and it gave him something concrete and real to focus on. The water was warm, too, and that felt pleasant on his hands.

“How’s that Dean kid doing?”

Roman froze, and tried to pass it off as rolling his shoulders and neck. 

“He’s...he’s doing well.”

“That kid doesn’t seem like a great influence.”

Roman stayed silent. He couldn’t respond to that, no matter how much he wanted to scream. He wanted to, he wanted to scream about how his stepfather was wrong about Dean-about everything-about how Dean was the only person he’s ever loved in the way that they shared, that Roman was sure he’d’ve done something stupid by now without him.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t ever do anything.

“I’m going out for a while. Don’t fuck up the house.”

“Yes, sir.”

Roman waited until he heard the car pulling out of the driveway before sliding to his knees on the floor, shaking, tears falling heavily as he tried to breathe. 

\---

Roman shook his head and rolled his eyes at his boyfriend.

“Baby, if we get caught-”

“Don’t worry, honeybun, it’ll be fine. Rob’s a good guy, we’ll buy our shit and get to my house.”

Roman crossed his arms over his chest, but conceded. He’d accompanied Dean on a pot-buying excursion, and he was unsure of what to expect. The house that Dean’s dealer-Rob-lived at was nice enough; tons of plants in the front yard, a bright blue door, overall very well-maintained and loved. He heard someone call out from inside the house. Roman looked at Dean’s hair, smiling at the still vibrant-color, and he leaned down to kiss his head. 

Dean hummed and leaned against him.

“You’re wearing those earrings I got you.”

“Mhm. They’re my favorite, Rome.”

Roman pressed his nose against Dean’s hair. He loved Dean so damn much. The door opened and a man with long brown hair and thick muscles answered. He immediately had an aura of calm and joy, and Roman could see why Dean bought from him.

“Dean! Hey, kid, how are you?”

“I’m pretty good, Rob. This is Roman, my boyfriend.”

Roman held his hand out and Rob-much to Roman’s surprise-pulled him into a hug. 

“Hey! Nice to finally meet you, I’ve seen you play, you’ve got a future in football, man.”

“Thank you.”

“Come in, come in, do you guys want some tea? I got this new one that’s minty and awesome.”

“No, thank you.”

“I could stand a cup.”

Dean sat on the couch, clearly comfortable in this house, and Roman sat next to him, wrapping an arm around Dean’s waist. He was wearing a crop top under his jacket and Roman really couldn’t get enough of his adorable stomach, and he ran his fingers over the bare skin. 

“So school’s getting close to getting out, right?”

“About a month and a half left.”

“Y’all ain’t getting in trouble, are you?”

Dean laughed and settled closer against Roman. 

“Not any more than usual.”

Rob brought Dean a cup of tea-in a Batman mug-and sat in the armchair near the couch. He sighed and grinned, drinking from his own tea. 

“So, Roman, you ever smoked pot before?”

Roman shook his head. 

“No, I-just never really had the opportunity, really. But Dean wanted me to try it, so...I’ll try it.”

“Don’t worry, man, it’s really not like...as freaky as some people make it out to be. Well, as long as you don’t have certain mental or physical illnesses.”

“I’m good on those fronts.”

“Kickass. Dean, you want your usual?”

“Yeah, that should be good.”

Rob stood and left to somewhere in the house, Roman couldn’t begin to guess where. Dean happily drank the tea and snuggled against Roman, and Roman continued to press his fingers against the softness on Dean’s belly. Dean giggled and leaned up, kissing Roman quickly. His lip gloss tasted like cherries, and Roman loved it.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Roro.”

“Aw, young love.”

Roman and Dean didn’t flinch at Rob’s voice, and they both stood, Dean handing Rob a wad of cash, that he didn’t take.

“You know what, this one is on me, bud. You guys go have a good time, live it up.”

“Thank you, Rob.”

“It’s no problem, Dean. Have fun, be safe!”   
Rob stood in the doorway and watched as they climbed onto the bike, and Roman held on tight to Dean’s waist on the way back to his house. Seth and Finn were sitting in the driveway, in Seth’s car, and got out when they saw Dean and Roman park.

“Hey guys.”

Finn hugged Roman and Dean, and so did Seth. Roman was happy to have a respite from his home life. Seth kissed the side of Roman’s head and they all headed inside. Lita was out for work and then a date with Matt, so they had the house to themselves for the night. They all piled into Dean’s room, Seth and Finn on the big recliner Dean had dragged in at one point, while Roman and Dean sat on the bed. They all talked and three of them watched, curious, as Dean prepared a small pipe. It was pretty, a bright blue color and Dean showed them all what to do. 

Roman and Finn both coughed, but Seth was fine-it wasn’t unexpected, considering how much he smoked. Roman couldn’t necessarily feel much different at first, but felt himself relax slowly over a few minutes. It….was nice, if a little odd. They each took another hit and Dean put everything away, and immediately shed his jacket and cuddled up to Roman. Roman grinned and blushed and kissed Dean, tasting his lip gloss again, and he kept smiling against Dean’s lips.

“Mm. I love you, Roman.”

“I love you too, baby.”

“Aww!”

Roman and Dean both turned to Seth, who was watching them with wide, teary eyes. Finn rolled his eyes and cupped Seth’s face, kissing his cheek. That caught Seth’s attention and Finn grinned, pulling out his phone.

“Pizza sound good with everyone?”

“Yeah, plus we’ve got a bunch of snacks around the house.”

Finn ordered pizza while they all settled into their seats, Dean turning on a cartoon on the tv that Seth had bought him. Roman sat against the wall and pulled Dean to sit between his legs, Dean’s back pressed up against his chest. He could bury his face against Dean’s bright-pink hair and he smiled against it. He really didn’t feel too different from normal, if a little spacey and even more affectionate than usual (if that was possible). 

Dean snuggled back against him and Roman wrapped his arms around him, lightly trailing his fingertips over Dean’s stomach. Dean giggled and looked over his shoulder.

“Don’t, Romeo, that tickles.”

“Mmm. That makes me wanna do it more.”

“Seeeetttthhh! Roman is gonna be mean and tickle me!”

“Hey! No nonsense over there.”

Roman laughed at Seth’s Dad Tone-it sounded far too much like an imitation of Hunter for him to take it seriously, but he stopped teasing Dean. Seth got up and retrieved the pizza when it got to the house and they all lounged around, eating and talking and laughing. It really was exactly what Roman needed, a break to just well and truly relax with his friends. 

“Guys-hey, shit, I just got a GREAT idea-”

“Oh God.”

“Here we go.”

Seth pouted a little over-dramatically.

“Hey! It’s a good idea-so there’s this bird sanctuary off route nine-”

“No. Stop. Stop right there.”

Finn was pressing his face to Seth’s shoulder, cheeks red from laughter, and Dean wasn’t doing much better. Roman glared at Seth, who was still pouting. 

“You almost got  _ banned _ the only time we went there. How many times I gotta tell you, bro, the birds do NOT want to come home with you!”

“You don’t know that! What are you, a bird telepath?”

Roman sighed and leaned his forehead on Dean’s shoulder. 

“We gotta take his keys, babe.”

Dean laughed and Roman smiled, too, he couldn’t help it.

“Shit, yeah, we probably do. Seth, why don’t you just go downtown and catch some pigeons?”

“Don’t give him ideas!”

Seth looked as though he had just personally seen God and Jesus in front of him, and Finn was laughing even harder, completely in tears at this point.

“The  _ pigeons _ .”

Roman stood and stretched, mumbling as he went in search of more food. 

“Boy’s gonna get goddamn parasites…”

\---

Finn lightly shoved Roman and Roman laughed, patting Finn on the head. He knew he was one of the only people allowed to do that, and he took great joy in being able to. Seth looked up from his phone, popping another piece of nicotine gum into his mouth. He and Dean had decided to work on quitting together, and Roman was proud of them. He had high hopes for them. 

He looked up at the familiar sound of a motorcycle, and smiled, looking towards the entrance of the parking lot that Dean always came through. Dean was driving right towards his spot as usual. 

What happened next happened very quickly. 

Roman didn’t actually see where the car came from, but it came to a screeching stop. He saw Dean’s bike swerve and Dean fell off, and after that, Roman’s mind blanked. He felt his heartbeat immediately get faster, and it was all he could hear; in the background he heard voices, Seth near him, people near the car. Dean. 

“Oh my God-oh my God, Dean, I’m so so sorry-are you okay?”

“Yeah, Nikki, I’m fine-scraped my knee a little, but-”

“Oh God. Oh-God, Nikki, Roman is-”

He didn’t look up at the mention of his name-he didn’t realize he’d fallen to the ground, or that he was digging his fingers into his shoulder. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe, that was curious. He couldn’t look up or move, but felt himself heave, throwing up what little food was in his stomach. Roman heard voices closer to him, a loud voice, Irish, above him.

“MOVE BACK! GIVE HIM SPACE!”

“Roman, Roman, buddy-come-come on, buddy, please respond-listen to me, Roman, Dean is fine-”

“Roman!” 

That was Dean’s voice. Roman still couldn’t move, his head light from the lack of proper breathing. 

“Roman, Ro-baby, I’m okay, I’m right here, I’m alive, baby, nothing happened-God, fuck, what-do we call someone?”

Roman didn’t listen after that. He couldn’t, he only knew he had a death grip on his shoulder and that he threw up at least one more time. He knew someone had managed to pick him up or move him, but he was inside, and he heard Dwayne’s voice. 

“Roman-oh my God-what happened? Tell me now.”

“I-I was driving into the parking lot and-a car almost hit me, I didn’t know Roman was watching and it came out of nowhere and I’m fine but he hasn’t talked at all-”

“Jesus-shit, fuck, Christ, dammit-okay, I need you all to get out.”

“Hey-”

“Just for a goddamn minute, trust me.”

The room was quiet. Roman could distantly recognize Dwayne’s shoes on the ground in front of him. 

“Rome? Where are you?”

Roman tilted his head, before shaking it.

“Not here?”

Roman shook his head again. Hey, he could focus on a voice again. That was progress.

“Are you-are you back at the accident?”

Roman nodded, squeezing his shoulder more, digging his nails into the scarred skin.

“Shit-Roman, come on, kiddo, you gotta come back, okay? That’s in the past. That’s in the past. What year is it?”

Roman held up his fingers in numbers, taking a guess at what year it was. 

“2018, good. That’s right, that’s what it is. Are you coming back?”

Roman waited a moment, but nodded. 

“You gotta talk to me, kid.”  
  
Roman shook his head. 

“Mnn-no-it-it-h-he-he almost-”

“But he didn’t. Dean is fine. He’s alive, he was just here. Do you need him to come back in here?”

Roman nodded very quickly and he listened as Dwayne called Dean back into the room-it was his office, he didn’t know how the hell he got there-and Dean’s hands were on his, gently trying to pull his hand off of his shoulder. Dean’s voice was quiet and close and it felt a nice contrast to the noise. 

“Romie, honey, I’m right here, okay? I’m here. Nothing bad happened to me. I know you’re back in that place, but that’s gone now, okay? Can you be here with me? Please, Roman, I need you here with me.”  
  
Roman forced himself to look up as much as possible. He managed to look Dean in the eye, and immediately burst into tears. Dean wrapped his arms around him tight and Roman squeezed Dean so tight he knew it must hurt a little. 

“I-I-you-there was a car and it-I can’t-I thought-it was just like-”

“I know, Romie, I know. It’s okay, I know.”

“Are-are you real-”

“One hundred percent, Roman.”

Roman sobbed against Dean’s shoulder, almost screaming at a few points, and he kept at that for a good fifteen minutes. He just couldn’t stop, and when he finally did, he just felt a wave of extreme, pure _exhaustion_ hit him.

“Roman, you need to go home.”

Roman didn’t argue.

“Is anyone at your house?”

Dean’s hand covered Roman’s. 

“Is….is your stepdad there?”

If he hadn’t been so suddenly tired, that would have set him off again. He shrugged.

“Who do I need to call?”

“Mom.”

It was the clearest Roman had managed to speak, but he truly did just want his mom. Maybe she would be able to find a way to keep his stepdad away. He listened as Dwayne spoke on the phone.

“Hey, Pen. I’m doing fine, but-Roman had-I’m gonna call it an ‘episode’. You need to come get him. There’s no way he can stay at school today. No, nothing-there wasn’t a fight or anything, I just don’t think-I don’t think he can mentally handle being here after that.”

Dean gently petted his hand over Roman’s head, holding him close. He kissed the side of Roman’s head and Roman could feel himself slowly coming back to reality. His head was throbbing, his throat was burning, his stomach still hurt and he felt….tired. In every part of him, he felt tired. He still couldn’t think entirely clearly and felt like he was on the very edge of panic again. 

“Roman?”

Roman lifted his head as much as he could to acknowledge Dwayne. His cousin’s voice was soft in a way it hadn’t been towards him in over a year. He was surprised when Dwayne kneeled in front of him, one hand gently covering Roman’s knee.

“Hey, kid. Hey, listen, I know. I know what seeing that did to you, okay? We all understand, and listen-no matter what, Dean is okay, you’re okay, and nothing bad happened today. I know those memories still hurt you. I know they still bring you a lot of pain, and this episode that you had? It’s okay that you had that. No one is gonna think bad about you because of it.”

Roman hadn’t even voiced that worry, though it had crossed his mind.

“Do you think Dean needs to come home with you?”

Roman nodded. He needed Dean, he needed to hold Dean and feel him and smell him and touch his soft, pink hair and kiss him, he needed to know Dean was still-he just needed Dean. 

“Okay. Dean?”

“God and all his armies couldn’t pull me away from Roman right now.”

Roman’s lips twitched at that. He knew it was true. 

“Your mom is on her way, bud. I know-I know how much this scared you, and I am so, so sorry that this happened. Just...take the day, okay? Recover. You had a major flashback and you need to relax.”

Roman nodded and they waited, Dwayne reluctantly letting Finn and Seth into the office-evidently they’d waited outside and would not leave-and his friends quietly spoke to him, comforting him; Seth was in tears, and he pressed his head to Roman’s, kissing his temple and cheek and forehead, and Roman let a few more tears of his own fall. He’d never had an episode-a flashback, like that before. He had never been so fully pulled back into that time, but...seeing the car almost hit Dean, it just snapped him back to a year and a half ago. He swore he’d even felt the pain in his shoulder again. 

“Roman?”

Roman looked up at his mom’s voice and stood, slowly and a little shakily-he hadn’t realized how dizzy he’d be-and she wrapped her arms around him. He responded, pressing his face into his mom’s hair. If there was one thing he could always count on, it was his mom. 

“Momma, I-”

“Shh, honey, you can tell me when we get home.”

“Can-I need Dean to come-”

“He’s always welcome. I won’t let anything happen to you today, Roman. I’ve got you.”

Roman nodded, saying goodbye and thank you to his friends and to Dwayne. Dwayne’s reaction had been curious, to Roman, but he couldn’t manage to focus on anything right now. The drive home was quiet-Roman would find out later that Dean had called Mark to come pick up his bike-and Roman was happy that his stepdad wasn’t at the house when they got there. He followed his mom and Dean into the house, holding Dean’s hand tight. His mom had him sit on his bed, and handed him a math workbook.

“Do this page. I’ll make you something light to eat, okay?”

Roman nodded. It seemed to be the most he could do, but he looked down at the page of equations. Math helped him when he was panicking; math didn’t change, it didn’t disappear. It just Was, and Roman liked the steadiness, the formulaic-ness of it all. Dean laid next to him, his head on Roman’s thigh, and the combination of Dean’s steady breathing, the feeling of his soft, pretty pink hair under Roman’s fingers, and the math problems capturing his attention made him feel back to his normal self fairly quickly. 

Within the hour, he leaned back and sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. He felt like a real human again, he felt like he was finally back in the present. 

“Ro?”

“Yeah. I’m...yeah.”

“I’m...I’m really sorry.”   
“Wasn’t your fault.”

Dean sat up and looked at Roman, eyes a bit wet. He pushed his hair back and sniffled. 

“I-I know, but-I-this happened, and-I never wanted to make you go through something like this-”

“I know, Dean, just-can we talk about that tomorrow or something?”

Dean frowned, but nodded. Roman laid down on his bed and held the blanket up, wrapping it around himself and Dean when Dean joined him. He bumped his nose against Dean’s and finally felt himself relax fully, smiling and closing his eyes. There was a knock on his door and his mom came in, with a tray with two bowls of soup, crackers, grapes, and a few cookies. 

Roman really felt like he didn’t deserve a mom as great as her.

She sat on the bed and Roman and Dean sat up to eat, Dean occasionally leaning in to kiss Roman’s cheek. 

“What happened?”

Roman took a deep breath, and felt Dean squeeze his thigh.

“Dean almost got hit by a car. I-I saw it, and-”

“Oh, God in Heaven. Roman, baby, I’m-I’m so sorry. Dean, honey, are you alright? You didn’t get hurt, did you?”

Dean shook his head. 

“Uh-I got a couple of scrapes, cause-the car almost hit me and my bike swerved and I kinda fell off-but nothing serious.”

“Thank God. Roman, honey-what exactly happened in your head? Can you describe that for me?”

Roman ate some more of the soup and crackers and thought. 

“Um...I guess-maybe-I don’t know, I guess I had-a flashback? It felt-it was like it was-it felt like I was back in the accident-”

“Oh, Roman.”

“It was scary and I thought Dean had been-I couldn’t deal with it and everything just stopped working-in my head, I mean, and-”

“Roman, honey, it’s okay. I’m sorry. I know...I know that’s something that hurts you. Whatever you need, tell me, okay?”

Roman bit his lip. 

“Can-do you still have...uh….”

“Give me just one second.”

Roman blushed, knowing Dean was looking at him curiously, until his mom returned with a small blanket in her hands. It was hand-sewn, with pictures of puppies embroidered in thread in four squares in the center. It had been his as a baby, his aunt had sewn it for him and he’d always kept it with him, until he had turned thirteen and declared that ‘only babies needed things like that’. 

Roman was happy he’d grown since then. He took the blanket and held it to his face, rubbing his cheek across the soft material. 

“Do you boys wanna have some alone time?”

“Yes, please.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Reigns.”

“Thank you, Momma.”  
  
She leaned down and kissed Roman on the head before leaving, closing the door behind her. Roman blushed again, once he was alone with Dean. 

“I know it’s stupid-”

“I have one, too.”

Roman’s eyes widened and he looked at Dean, who was about as pink as his hair.

“It-mine is-when I was a kid, back in Piedras Negras, I-I had a friend, and for my fourth birthday, his mom made me a blanket. It wasn’t anything fancy, but-I loved it, and I’ve always kept it with me. Uh. When-when my brain, when-you know, I have….uh...my moments, I hold onto it and stuff. It-I mean, it’s not stupid. I get it.”

Roman tugged at the edge of the blanket, tracing his fingers over the embroidery.

“What does yours look like?”

“It’s-it’s yellow, and really really soft, and has a big red patch in one corner.”

Roman smiled. He shifted the bowls onto the floor, and pressed up to Dean. He handed him the remote from the nightstand and sighed. 

“Pick something? Not anything-heavy, you know?”

“Of course, baby. Get comfy.”

Roman smiled and held the blanket against himself with one arm and wrapped his other around Dean’s waist, sighing happily. He always felt better with Dean. He just did. Dean put on a silly show about food and fed Roman grapes and crackers and cookies, and Roman dozed off at one point, still freaked out from the episode, but calmer, easier. Just like he always was when Dean was near him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. fun fact about me: when i was a baby, my aunt made me three blankets. one was red and grey-blue and had puppies in the center four squares. a few years ago, i left that blanket on accident at the house of the person who ruined my life. i guess i like the idea that roman never lost it. (dean's blanket it based on the one my older brother had as a kid, too). 
> 
> i have some weird feelings about this chapter overall.


	16. going into a blind rage whenever you hear a hootie and the blowfish song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hunter helps out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this is a super short chapter, but i've been trying to push this one out for a while now. hopefully i can get back to the main four after this -_-

_ Hunter held his nephew carefully, his hair pulled back into a ragged ponytail. Shawn was pressed against his side, too hesitant to hold Seth. His hands shook too much, still. Hunter ran his hand over Seth’s small, soft face, marveling at the little tufts of dark hair on his head.  _

_ “He’s absolutely beautiful, Hunt.” _

_ Hunter couldn’t even respond. Not at first. His nephew had only been born a day ago, and it had taken one look at the infant to decide that he was going to dedicate his life to him.  _

_ “I know. He’s...God, Shawn. I’m his uncle.” _

_ Shawn kissed his cheek, and Hunter felt Shawn’s tremors even through that. _

_ “He’s the luckiest kid on the planet, babe.” _

\---

“It’s the kid’s birthday, sis, come on-”

“I’m sorry, Hunter, we’re just-we’re too busy. We’ll be sending a gift home for him.”

Hunter took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He wasn’t going to yell, he didn’t want to yell at his sister. 

“He doesn’t want a gift. He wants his parents to come home.”

“Hunt-I’m sorry, I have to go. Sorry.”

Hunter pinched the bridge of his nose after his sister hung up the phone. He loved his sister, he did, he didn’t think he was capable of not doing so, but-God, very little made him feel more disappointed than the fact that she and her husband were never around for their son. Hunter and Shawn did their absolute best to give Seth the best life they could, and he knew his nephew loved them and of course, they loved him, but Hunter knew that Seth had always wanted his mom and dad around, too. And they just...weren’t.

Seth hadn’t been planned. For the first few years of his life, his parents would bring him along to things almost like a prop, to show that they were a real Family-Oriented Business, they’d pushed a narrative that they didn’t believe in, and Hunter was always the one to really raise Seth. And Hunter would never complain about that. Ever. He may not like that his sister had never taken responsibility as a parent, but he had adored and loved every single moment that he’d spent raising his nephew. 

Even...even the times he’d almost lost Seth. 

But those years were-for right now, Hunter had been extra careful ever since Seth’s relapse-over, and they were thriving, as their little family.

Hunter just wished the rest of their family wanted to thrive with them.

There was a knock at the door to his office, and he looked up as Shawn poked his head in. Hunter felt his body relax at the sight of his husband. His best friend. The love of his life.

“Hey.”

“Hey, babe. You okay?”

“Yeah….just..talking to my sister.”

Shawn frowned, coming to sit on the edge of the desk. Hunter immediately, on instinct, reached out and grabbed Shawn’s thigh.

“About Seth’s birthday?”

“Yeah.”

“They still not comin’?”

“Yeah. Unfortunately.”

Shawn sighed and covered Hunter’s hand with his own. 

“I know that makes you mad, babe, but let’s focus on Seth for right now, yeah?”

Hunter nodded, clearing the angry thoughts from his mind. 

“Of course. Everything is ready for Friday, right?”

Shawn nodded and Hunter rubbed his thigh. They’d prepared a hell of a party for Seth, and Hunter was looking forward to spending another two days cooking for the party. He liked cooking. It felt good to provide for others like that. 

“Oh, hun, Mark called earlier.”

Hunter raised an eyebrow at that. Shawn’s ex from before he knew Hunter and their friend rarely called….anyone that wasn’t Jeff. Mark wasn’t much of a people person.

“What’d he want?”

“Nothing much, just asking about the bike part for Dean, wanted to know if we were free anytime soon for a double date.”

Hunter snorted. That meant that Jeff wanted to know, but likely didn’t have time to call. They were nearing the end of the school year, so he was bound to be extra busy. Hunter rubbed his hand up and down Shawn’s thigh a little, more to soothe himself than to start anything.

“We’ve got next Tuesday. Jeff’s still got enough youth to handle dinner out on a school night, don’t you think?”

Shawn smiled-and God, all of Hunter’s frustrations and problems melted away. Shawn leaned down and kissed him, the same little chaste kiss he’d been receiving since he was twenty-one, and Hunter knew there were little cartoon hearts swirling around his head.

“I think so, Hunt.”

\---

Seth was all smiles, but Hunter could see the little twinge of something Else under it. His smiles didn’t quite reach his eyes, and that was a shame-his nephew had the most wonderful, world-brightening smile in history, and Hunter knew he needed to corner him soon and find out what was happening. He could only presume that it had something to do with Seth’s parents, and he hated the thought of that being it. 

Hunter was happy that Seth had his friends, though. Evidently he and Dean were starting a Youtube channel. Hunter didn’t know why they needed ‘the hottest hot sauces they could find’, but it wasn’t in Hunter’s repertoire to say ‘no’ to anything Seth requested. 

He went back to chopping up brisket, leaving Seth to play video games or do whatever it was he was doing with his friends. Hunter loved seeing the group of four young men. It reminded him of his own little clique, from back in the day, he and Shawn and Kevin and Scott. Seeing Seth and Roman and Dean and Finn, it filled him with a nice content feeling. 

“Hunt?”

Hunter looked over his shoulder at the sound of a bright Irish voice. He smiled at Finn, gesturing for him to come into the kitchen fully. Finn came to stand next to him, watching as he chopped meat and dropped it into various marinades.

“Hey, Finnski. You need something, bud?”

Finn leaned against the counter, and he looked oddly nervous. Finn had always been shy, but he was rarely nervous-at least at this point in knowing Seth-around Hunter. 

“Um….kind of? I-there’s something I want to do for Seth for his birthday, but...I guess I’m...I don’t know.”

Hunter finished with the meat and washed his hands, wiping them dry on a dish towel and leaning against the counter, mirroring Finn’s pose.

“What’re you thinking?”

“Well...I-I’d kind of like to take him on a short trip, not anywhere far, just...somewhere for a weekend, cause there’s some….things I’d like to-uh-try with him.”

Hunter raised an eyebrow and Finn blushed a deep red, and Hunter had to work to not laugh.

“Ohh. You wanna have a romantic getaway, is what you’re saying?”

“Yes, but-I want it to be a surprise, and-I feel embarrassed asking about….this. And...I can pay for the trip, but-there’s some things I need, and I know Seth’ll find out if I go buy them-”

Hunter was so close to bursting with laughter, it almost hurt. He suppressed the urge, somehow.

“Do you need condoms, Finn?”

Finn hid his face behind his hands and groaned, and Hunter had to take pity on the kid. He patted Finn on the shoulder and let him hide his face more properly against Hunter’s chest.

“Hey, kid, don’t worry about it. Any of it. I’ll set everything up so you guys can head out after the party on Friday, how does that sound? You don’t worry about a thing.”

Finn pulled away, smiling, his cheeks still flushed rom embarrassment.

“Really?”

“Of course, you know I support you guys. And your exhaustive dedication to safe sex.”

Finn blushed again and Hunter had to laugh. It was damn near a family tradition to tease the Irish boy, and he patted him on the head. 

“Thank you. I really do want him to have a good birthday…”

Hunter leaned against the counter and sighed. 

“We all do, and we’re all trying.”   
“Not all of us.”

Hunter raised an eyebrow. 

“Take it you’re talking about his parents?”

Finn cleared his throat, straightening his back a bit. 

“I know they’re your family, but-they’re hurting him very badly and I just-”

“I get it, Finn. Trust me, I’m not happy about it, either.”

Finn frowned. He really was a sweet kid, and so protective of Seth. Hunter squeezed Finn around the shoulders one more time, before sending him back to the other three boys in the living room. Hunter pulled out his phone and called up the fanciest hotel in the state-it was a two hour drive away, but Hunter knew Seth would appreciate the opportunity to drive his car around. Hunter shook his head at the thought, smiling.’

\---

Hunter looked over at Shawn, feeling the same sort of hopelessly in love that he always felt when he saw him. The party had gone perfectly, and even with the absence of his parents, Seth had been happy. Even happier when Finn had told him about their getaway weekend, even though Dean had wolf-whistled at them.

That kid was just incorrigible. 

Hunter handed another dish to Shawn-they could use the dishwasher, and they would, but they’d always liked doing the dishes by hand together, ever since they first moved in together. It was quiet and simple and nice, and both of them treasured having things like that. 

“You ready for next Friday, babe?”

Hunter shut his eyes and let Shawn’s gruff voice wash over him. He loved that voice with every atom of his being. 

“Yeah. Talked to the university and everything, and it’s gonna be a surprise.”

“He’s gonna cry his eyes out, you know that, right?”

Hunter laughed and bumped his shoulder against Shawn’s.

“I know. He deserves it, though.”

“Of course. Just be prepared for the bear hug.”

Hunter pulled the plug out of the sink and let the water drain as Shawn finished drying the last plate. He wiped his hands on a dishrag to dry them and wrapped his arms around Shawn’s waist, holding him tight. He rested his head on Shawn’s shoulder, inhaling the clean scent of his soap, happy to just exist with him. He was always happy to just exist with Shawn, and Shawn kissed his head.

“I love you, Hunt.”

“I love you too.”

He felt Shawn kiss his head again, and felt him grin.

“We have this whole big house to ourselves, you know…”

Hunter leaned up and smiled at Shawn, letting one of his hands dip down a little farther. 

“And for the whole weekend, too...wonder what we can do with that time…”

Hunter lifted Shawn up, gripping under his thighs, grinning and pressing him back against the counter.

“Let’s see what we can do.”

\---

Hunter grinned as Seth kissed him on the cheek. His nephew was so sweet. Seth sat at the island in the kitchen with Shawn, kicking his feet back and forth. Hunter placed a full plate in front of Seth, and another in front of Shawn. He loved taking care of these two. 

“Are you still not gonna tell me why you’re coming to my school today?”

Hunter smiled. 

“Still not telling.”

Hunter wouldn’t tell, at all, he didn’t want to ruin the surprise. The three of them, their little family, all sat together and ate breakfast. Shawn would be handling things at the company today, so Hunter could spend the day at the school. He was planning on sitting in on some classes, just for the hell of it-they let him do that, whenever he wanted, given how much he invested in the school, and he wanted to see how Seth was doing to round out the year. 

Seth practically dragged Hunter out the door, so that they could ride together. Hunter liked driving Seth to school, he always had, ever since Seth was in elementary school. Even when Seth insisted on listening to the bands that Hunter couldn’t stand, he loved it (he loved Seth enough that he’d gone to multiple concerts for those bands with Seth just to make him happy). They stopped by Roman’s house, and Hunter frowned when he saw that Roman had a black eye. He was quiet as he got into the car, and Seth looked worried.

“Roman?”

“Accident with Mark. It’s cool.”

That tone told Hunter that it very much was not cool, but he didn’t want to press the issue. Not right now. They finished the drive and Hunter greeted Finn and Dean-who’d apparently come together. Hunter was happy that those two had bonded; with how much they had in common, it only seemed right. 

“How’s the bike handling?”

Dean grinned, rubbing his hands over the smooth metal.

“Perfect, ever since he got fixed up.”

“Good. You guys should be getting to class soon, yeah?”

Seth grabbed Finn’s hand and led him inside, Dean and Roman briefly kissing before following them. Hunter shook his head and smiled. They were all good kids. He had to go see the principal and vice principal, first, and was happy to do so. He’d always gotten along with Dwayne-at least until the past year, but he wanted to give his friend time. He knew Dwayne was grieving. 

He knocked on the door to Dusty’s office and smiled at his friend, hugging him tight. 

“Mister Hunter! I am so excited ‘bout this assembly today, those kids are gonna be so happy-”

“I’m hoping so, Dusty.”

“Hunter, hey!”   
Hunter turned and hugged Dwayne as well, all three of them going back into Dusty’s office and shutting the door. 

\---

Hunter covered his mouth, trying to mask his laugh as a cough as Dean threw the tiny ball back to Finn, who threw it to Seth. They weren’t doing anything particularly important, schoolwork-wise, so Hunter didn’t feel like it was something he needed to call attention to. Either way, the boys seemed happy. He hated to change that. The teacher didn’t seem to love it, or the quiet snickers and giggles from the class.

Really, the only people who didn’t seem to be enjoying themselves were the teacher-which Hunter could understand-and Brock-which Hunter didn’t care about. The kid was a spoilsport. It was the last class before lunch, and then they had two more classes before the last one was replaced by the assembly. Hunter noticed Dean grinning at him and he shook his head, before Dean threw the ball to him. 

“Mister Helmsley, is there a reason you’re throwing a ball in my classroom?”

Hunter smiled and shrugged at the teacher, hoping to appear innocent. 

“I’m not throwing anything.”

The teacher smiled, just a bit, and turned back to the whiteboard. Hunter threw the ball back at Dean and saw Seth and Roman trying very hard not to laugh. God. These kids were gonna age him prematurely.

\---

Hunter smoothed out his coat, getting ready to walk out onto the stage. He was happy. He’d kept this under wraps for months now, and he was terribly excited about finally getting to make it public. 

“-and I’d like to introduce our very special guest for the afternoon, Mister Hunter Helmsley!”

Hunter took a deep breath and straightened his back, walking out and waving to the kids in the audience. He took the microphone from Dusty, patting him on the arm and turning to face the crowd. 

“Hello everyone. I’m sure you all know me-some of you probably know me mostly as ‘that old bald guy who crashed the Bella’s party a few months ago’-”

That got some laughs, thankfully.

“-but I’m also an uncle, to my wonderful nephew, who I know I’m embarrassing by pointing him out-love you, Seth-”

A very loud laugh from a specific pink-haired boy in the crowd, and Hunter grinned when he heard Seth clearly say ‘stop’.

“-and I’ve always been deeply invested in his life, and the lives of his friends, and the wellbeing of all the kids at this school. I went here. My sister went here, my parents, most of the people I grew up with and remain friends with to this day went here. This was where we all started on our journeys, this is where we all made vital, key decisions about our lives. And one of those decisions is-as you all know, since us old folks never stop hounding you about it, sorry about that-is the decision to go to college and pursue higher education.”

There were a few groans, but Hunter anticipated it. 

“I’d like to ask a few students to come up on the stage with me, please.”

Hunter stood at the front of the stage, looking out into the crowd.

“Becky Lynch-”

The redhead made her way up quickly, happily standing next to Hunter.

“Kofi Kingston-”

Xavier ad Big E-Hunter still didn’t know his real first name-whooped and hollered happily as Kofi made his way up to the stage.

“Alicia Fox-”

A round of applause for her, and it was deserved. Hunter knew Alicia as one of the hardest-working students and people he’d ever met.

“Finn Balor-”

Finn looked confused and slightly embarrassed as he stood next to Becky, her and Kofi both hugging him.

“-and finally, if Roman Reigns would join us.”

Roman walked slower than the others, likely wary, but he smiled nervously when Hunter put an arm around his shoulders.

“Roman, I’ve known you your whole life. I’ve known everyone on this stage for years, but you, I’ve known you forever. I’ve watched you grow up. And I’ve watched you grow into a smart, strong, amazing young man, and during that, there were two people who always believed in you-in everyone they met, meaning everyone on this stage-more than anyone else could.”

Roman looked confused, and Hunter squeezed his shoulder-not the bad one, he knew that wouldn’t be good. 

“Matt and Ed Anoa’i went to this school, just like I did. And they believed in and supported everyone they met, and they knew each of you worked your heads off to become the amazing young men and women you are today. And that is why I am proud to announce that I, and my family’s company, in conjunction with this school, have decided to start the Matthew and Edward Anoa’i Legacy Scholarship, which will be awarded to five seniors every year who have shown that they have the dedication and perseverance to accomplish anything. You five are the very first recipients of this scholarship, which is a full ride to any university of your choosing.:

The audience erupted into applause, Kofi, Alicia, and Becky all jumping up and down and celebrating. Hunter looked at Finn and Roman, who were both staring at him, evidently in shock. Roman’s bottom lip was trembling a little and Hunter could tell he was trying not to cry, and he pulled Roman into a hug. Roman buried his face in Hunter’s neck, Finn placing a hand on Roman’s back.

“They’d be so, so proud of you, Roman.”

“Hunter-Hunter, I-”

“I know, bud. I know.”

Roman pulled away after a moment and sniffled as Finn threw himself into Hunter’s arms, Hunter laughing and hugging him back.

“Thank you so much-thank you, Hunter-”

“You deserve it, kid. You really, really do.”

Hunter pulled away and clapped for the kids, trying not to cry himself. He was happy he had the capacity to help young people. He was just happy to help.


End file.
